Fez of Mahrez Posted 9 February 2008 Posted 9 February 2008 Here at Sky Sports we pride ourselves in bringing you, the fans, the best soccer from around the globe right to the heart of the atmosphere - your very own armchair. This season the FA Barclaycarling Premier Leagueship has seen thrilling games played out between world heavyweights of football such as Reading v Wigan, Birmingham v Fulham and Derby v Sunderland (please note Derby are on loan from the Championship for one season only - they are not official members of the EA Carlsbergcard Champions Leagueship). But viewers have often complained this season of a different team from some foreign league invading their television sets and playing a new version of soccerball which is reminiscent of the distant, old dark ages of 2001. "Leicester City" games have been shown five times already this season and have confused many of our viewers who are used to the beauty of the BA Barkingmad League of Premier Champions. Leicester City were once a member of this league but are now forced against their will to play against teams from industrial working-class hovels such as Barnsley instead of having the chance to visit such sprawling modern metropolii as Portsmouth and Blackburn. Ahead of Leicester's latest "match" against a bunch of farmers from Devon, we at Sky Sports (number one for all your sporting consumer needs) thought we'd better delve into the archives and tell you a bit about these heathens who keep appearing on your digital widescreen viewing devices. Leicester City were formed in 1584 by local businessman and entrepreneur Thracian McThracian. No records can be found of the first 300 years of their existence. Between 1884 and 1919, City enjoyed a fierce local rivalry with Leicester Fosse. Sometimes this rivalry would get so fierce that players would exchange traditional post-match handshakes with a hint of annoyance in their eyes. At the turn of the century Leicester City played a game against an elephant from a travelling circus. They beat the elephant 11-0. This remains City's second biggest win of all time. Their record win was the following week when they beat Nottingham Forest 12-0. Forest subsequently signed the elephant who endured a torrid time from their fans who bemoaned the route-one football that star player Nelly demanded. A new main stand was built in 1921. This cost a paltry sum of £26,482 - incidentally the same amount paid each week by Manchester United superstar Cristiano Ronaldo to his hairstylist. War broke out in 1939 between City stars Jimmy Jones and Albert Arthurs over the correct length of playing shorts. The war was bitter and lasted for six years. Millions of people died and much of Coventry was destroyed. By the 1960s Leicester had become half-decent, fielding such world-renowned stars as goalkeeper Gordon Banks and left-back Engelbert Humperdinck. They lost three FA Cup finals during this decade. Back in those days the FA Cup was contested between many teams from many different leagues and not just Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal as we see today. It was a bit rubbish. Sky Sports has proposed to adapt the FA Cup into a season-long series of games between The Big Four culminating in a seven-game play-off final to determine the winner. The 1990s saw Leicester City's real glory years due to such household names as Mark Blake (the first black player to play in England), Jimmy Willis (who later went on to a successful career in Hollywood), French World Cup winner Franck Rolling and Ian Ormondroyd - best known to Sky Sports viewers as the father of Liverpool star Peter Crouch. WATCH THIS: Leicester City v Plymouth Argyle (5.15pm, Sky Sports One) Or don't, we aren't bothered. It's Man Utd v Man City and Chelsea v Liverpool tomorrow. You'd be better off watching that.
Stuliasz Posted 9 February 2008 Posted 9 February 2008 Great stuff! :laugh: Cheered me up before the inevitable this evening.
MPH Posted 9 February 2008 Posted 9 February 2008 you either didnt have as much beer as you wanted last night and are consequently as sharp as a button today or you had way too much. either way. thats legendary and thanks for giving me a laugh!
Guest Posted 9 February 2008 Posted 9 February 2008 How dare you, Fez? How dare you drag me out of my well of self-pity (totally unrelated to football)?
He's not bald Posted 9 February 2008 Posted 9 February 2008 LEGEND.Very funny mate certainly more hysterical than historical and your wrong about the humpster ,he played most of his time at centre back and when he was forced to play at right back he promptly slapped in a transfer request which by coincidence was the inspiration for his greatest hit "please release me" and kickstarted his singing career!
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