Bastard postman

[The People's Hero]

Postman sacked!

If not sacked then moved to rob a different street.

Today I got:

and a

Probably promoted.

[Webbo]

Postman sacked!

If not sacked then moved to rob a different street.

Today I got:

a)Is that Melchester Rovers?

b) If so, why?

[Bellend Sebastian]

Have you been listening to Half Man Half Biscuit, Daggers?

If so, it's not Christmas. You're being very impatient

[l444ry]

Mail Order Bride lost in Post

There were embarrassed faces amongst postal workers in Leicester this week when it emerged that they had "misplaced" a mail order bride ordered by local businessman Jerry Crotch.

Mr Crotch, a second-hand toilet paper industrialist, was said to be in a state of shock and to have lost the use of his fingers and toes upon hearing of the lost "package". He apparently paid £12000 for the Russian woman named only as "Tatania", whose internet description was displayed as "tall, leggy, peroxide blonde, good childbearing hips, no marks, have many teeth".

"I'm fricken pissed off", said Mr Crotch yesterday, "I spent all my hard earned money to buy that woman and them postal twats go losin' her on me like some cheap trinket".

Jill Shandy, a wrinkle-faced representative for the Postal Service, said they were doing all they could to retrieve the lost woman:

"We've posted hundreds of leaflets with descriptions of the woman and a contact address. We hope someone out there knows something about her whereabouts", said Shandy.

Unfortunately it has now been reported that the leaflets themselves have also been lost too.

[Daggers]

a)Is that Melchester Rovers?

Yes. As for the 'why', I liked it as a kid.

Have you been listening to Half Man Half Biscuit, Daggers?

Always

I fancy a CCCP one now.

[Guest]

I think I have solved the mystery of Daggers postman - he's been relocated to my area.

If my parcel doesn't arrive today, I shall be very cross.