If they weren't footballers......

[General Smuts]

Chris Powell would probably play the role of God.

Why would he play the role of himself?

[Joe.]

Why would he play the role of himself?

Because he can. That's why.

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

Hendo would be a stunt double for Jean Claude.

[skinnydipper]

Pearson - Traffic warden

Dickov - Bailiff

[Craig]

Gilbert would work in Sports Direct.

[Koke]

Max Gradel would be a chav. Andy King would be a University graduate.

[lildave3]

Hendo would be a stunt double for Jean Claude.

Darcheville?

[Koke]

Hendo would definitely be a porn star, he's got the look. Wayne Brown would be a nightclub bouncer.

[BlueSi13]

He sure is one dozy fukcer

He really is!! i was working at HMV over christmas and i served him a couple of times! each time he was with his trophy blonde and each time he bought a wheelbarrow full amount of gear, DVD'S, CD'S, games etc etc etc, i realised then footballers really do have a huge of amount of spare time on their hands.

Either way, he bought so much stuff that when i went to get him Quantum of Solace on 360, i had to chase him down as he'd forgotten he'd paid for it or bought it and was walking out of the shop, when i finally caught up with him i handed him the game (i expected he'd be delighted) instead he simply shrugged went "huh, oh ok mate cheers", bunged it in his extra large HMV bag which kinda resembled what santas laundry bag would look like when full, and turned around and left me standing there in my purple uniform....but i got my revenge on him oh yes....i gave his trophy blondes loaf of bread arse such an aggressive ogling you guys would have blushed with fear if you'd gazed upon the hunger and anger on my face at that moment!

[robbo]

Akinbiyi - sniper

He used to hit the target from anywhere.

[ACF]

I am pleased you have come out of this incident unscathed.

Don't worry, I wont tell anyone