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MikeyT

Politically Correct Christmas

By MikeyT, in General Chat

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MikeyT

MikeyT

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  • Author
Posted
You cant say Christmas.... not PC! :rolleyes:

Haha well i'm saying Christmas, don't care whose offended. Its CHRISTMAS!!!! :D

Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

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Happy Non-Denominational Winter Holiday peeps.

lou

lou

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If you are offended by the word Christmas then you might as well fvck off and die.

Im not. lol

No one is.... its all in the head of overpaid, shit-for-brains, hand-wringing tossers in charge of central and local government who come up with these ridiculous suggestions... :thumbup:

Phube

Phube

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And Heath and Safety!

Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

While Shepherds Watched

While shepherds watched

Their flocks by night

All seated on the ground

The angel of the Lord came down

And glory shone around

The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.

Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.

Little Donkey

Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road

Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.

We Three Kings

We three kings of Orient are

Bearing gifts we traverse afar

Field and fountain, moor and mountain

Following yonder star

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc., gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.

We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.

Phube

Phube

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lol

Hows Little Phube? All ready for her 1st Christmas? :thumbup:

Little Phube is great... and officially fat 14lbs 9oz!! Christmas should be fun... hopefully!! A bit too young though to enjoy it properly!

lou

lou

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They've even got a nativity scene in Town Hall Square.

It's political correctness gone mad

You sure they havent changed Mary and Joseph to Mary and her partner Josephine and their newly adopted baby? lol

ozleicester

ozleicester

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If you are offended by the word Christmas then you might as well fvck off and die.

Im not offended by the word christmas, just the concept.. oh, and this line is kinda offensive :)

lou

lou

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Im not offended by the word christmas, just the concept.. oh, and this line is kinda offensive :)

Hes not known for his tact and diplomacy! lol

Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

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Read today in Metro that an university in Australia think Santa is bad influence on the kids!

Source

A fat, bearded old man who comes into your room at night and empties his sack on your floor?

Sounds a bad influence to me.

skinnydipper

skinnydipper

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He lay her on the table so white & clean & bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat, he rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and felt her breasts and drooling touched her thighs.

The slit was wet and everything set, he gave a joyful cry.

The hole was wide, he looked inside: All was dark & murky.

He rubbed his hands then stretched his arms, then stuffed that bloody Turkey.

May I wish you and your dirty mind a very Merry Christmas

santa2.gifxmassign.gifsanta2.gifxmassign.gifsanta2.gifxmassign.gifxmastree.gif

Bellend Sebastian

Bellend Sebastian

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Read today in Metro that an university in Australia think Santa is bad influence on the kids!

Source

Relax, dudes.

It's one potty academic spouting guff to get himself some publicity, and because journos know we like to get excited about this sort of crap, into the newspaper it goes.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, but most of the fuss about so-called political correctness is from the pages of low rent periodicals, not real life.

As for health and safety...we had the official visit at our offices not long ago, and I thought we were going to get hauled over the coals, but all they said was our stepladder was a bit shit. Which it is

JimmyK

JimmyK

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fook me that audience is easily amused. 'Lady of the night' made me smirk, but it was kinda ruined by his having to make the joke more obvious in the following line. I find the fact he makes me think of a redneck version of Johnny Vegas funnier than his material.

I should probably point out there's never been any 'PC war on Christmas' in the UK or the USA, and people moaning about are very irritating. This article sums it up better than I could.

Merry Christmas y'all :santa:

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