Miquel The Work Geordie

Really good game this, Bayern looks great and PSG had a few chances

Carranza scored a few goals against Rootin Tootin FC and we thought he was worth a punt

We've left it all on the bench, let Marti cook

Carranza runs like a child with the pack on at Megazone

If Bambi was made out of cement

Gazprom at the Parc des Princes

Thick manager

Ayew has a head the same size as Ken Griffy Jr's in Homer at the Bat, it's ****ing massive, has its own gravitational pull

The small handful of people who say "at least Skipp tries" are wildly incorrect Lard arse hide and seek merchant

Seek help

Wow, what about backing the lads - it's called support - look it up in the Oxford English sometime

Carranza and Ayew could be the npower Yorke and Cole

Yeah I'm not watching this over the Gazprom, which means it'll be a Feast of Football in LE2 and the worst game in history in Paris

Reeves looks absolutely knackered

What horrors did this man see in Welwyn Garden City

Remember when someone on here thought the chant was "e-i-e-i-e-i-o, up the football, here we go" Just made myself hoarse singing that in the kitchen for the lads

The Bald Modric

I don't think even Cifuentes is thick enough to stick Carranza on the wing

I know he's not without several glaring flaws but Choudhury is better than both.

I'd have Hamza in for Skipp and anyone in for Luke Thomas

He's so thin skinned for someone who does nothing but make up transfer rumours for a living, you think he'd be one of the most easy going men on the planet

John Rudkin thinks "abroad" is a work of fiction so we can consign this one to the bin

Only if the pineapple is halal

Peter Backley on Pro Evo 3 when Brazil's number 9 is on the ball be like

It'll be someone called something like Nuno Goncalves who has a decent stint at Vitoria Setubal in 2018, that earned him a disastrous 4 months at Porto. Stints at either at Antalyaspor or Al-Rayyan followed but he's been unemployed for about 4 months