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Classic/Contemporary nursery rhymes

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Posted

Anyone got any good nursery rhymes?

Here's my personal favourite.

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece as white as snow

A Frenchman put a match to it

And now it's all aglow.

:thumbsup:

Posted
Anyone got any good nursery rhymes?

Here's my personal favourite.

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece as white as snow

A Frenchman put a match to it

And now it's all aglow.

:thumbsup:

Little Miss MuffetSat on a tuffet,Eating her curds and whey.Along came a spider,Who sat down beside her,And frightened Miss Muffet away!

I was always intrigued by what a tuffet was. :whistle:

Posted
Little Miss MuffetSat on a tuffet,Eating her curds and whey.Along came a spider,Who sat down beside her,And frightened Miss Muffet away!

I was always intrigued by what a tuffet was. :whistle:

its just a clump of grass or a euphemism for her ass isn't it :dunno:

anyway

mary had a little lamb

its fleece was black as charcoal

it put its head between its legs

and whistled up its arsehole

Posted

The grand old duke of York

he had ten thousand men

number ten thousand and one

would not lay down

and was never seen again.

Mary was a Derby fan

Mary's lover was called Sam

Mary had a little lamb

and the father was a ram.

Posted

Zippy and Bungle went to the jungle to have themselves some fun,

Zippy got silly and pulled out his willy and stuck it up Bungles bum.

Posted

Mary had a little lamb,

She also had a bear,

I've often seen her little lamb

But I've never seen her bare.

Obviously doesn't work quite as well when written.

High above the street & houses, Rainbow climbing high,

Geoffrey sticks his bum out the window, farts in Bungle's eye

Posted

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was white and silly

She threw it up in the air

And caught it by its

Willie was a watchdog

Lying in the grass

Along came a rattlesnake

And bit him on his

Ask no questions

You get no lies

Have you ever seen a policeman doing up his

Flies are a nuisance

Bees are even worse

And thats the end of my silly little verse

:ph34r:

Posted

Strange I was thinking of one along the same lines as that.

Simple Simon met a pieman

Doing up his flies

Says Simple Simon to the pieman

its not your just fingers you have in the pies.

Dagenham Dave saw a cow

Whilst sitting on a bucket

He crept up from behind

Amd proceeded to milk it.

TPH was a jolly old chap

a jolly old chap was he

bared his arse to his mates

And was promptly stung by a bee.

Posted

simple simon met a pieman

going to the fayre

said simple simon to the pieman

what do you have there ?

PIES YOU **** !!

Posted
simple simon met a pieman

going to the fayre

said simple simon to the pieman

what do you have there ?

PIES YOU **** !!

Nursery rhymes have changed since my day, I just hope my kids don't go to the same nursery as you!!! :blink:

I like

'there's a brown girl in the ring

Tra la la la la'

But the PC brigade won't allow it no more, it has to be

'there's a ethnic girl in the ring

Tra la la la la'

Posted
Nursery rhymes have changed since my day, I just hope my kids don't go to the same nursery as you!!! :blink:

I like

'there's a brown girl in the ring

Tra la la la la'

But the PC brigade won't allow it no more, it has to be

'there's a ethnic girl in the ring

Tra la la la la'

too true :D

pack up all my cares and woe , here i go singing low

bye bye ethnic female

Posted
Anyone got any good nursery rhymes?

Here's my personal favourite.

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece as white as snow

A Frenchman put a match to it

And now it's all aglow.

:thumbsup:

Are you trying to think of some new songs for the footy lol???!!

Posted

Hey diddle diddle,

The cat and fiddle,

The cow jumped over the moon,

Little dog laughed to see such fun,

And scored some more stuff on a spoon.

:thumbsup:

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,

Went into the gents,

Now we all know why.

Posted

Mary had a little lamb,

She tied it to a pylon,

10,000 volts went up it's bum,

And now it's wool is Nylon.

:ph34r:

Posted

This is what i'm gonna sing to my niece.

Nick-Knack Paddy Mac got a yellow card

Ti-atto is F***ing hard.

Posted
This is what i'm gonna sing to my niece.

Nick-Knack Paddy Mac got a yellow card

Ti-atto is F***ing hard.

that is quality :thumbup:

Posted

Bertfox called up Nigel for kick off time

And Nigel W called back to say

Be at the Walkers before 3 pee-emm

And you'll be in the team to play.

*************************

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

Playing with his toy

Along came Miss Vickers

Who took off her knickers

And Jacks eyes beheld a new joy.

************************

May had a little lamb

Its eyes were cute and face was funny

They loved to play in the feilds

When the days were bright and sunny.

But Mary was a hungry girl

And she was getting thinner

So she chopped the lamb into little pieces

And served it up for dinner.

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