This country etc

[Bellend Sebastian]

Now I'm not one to sit there eating my cornflakes and reading a copy of the Daily Mail whilst shaking my fist at the outside world because kids don't call me sir and I have to lock my door if I'm out of town for a few days, but our latest recruitment drive at work has actually made me wonder what state the country is in, and particularly our education system.

Do you know what 20% of 100 is?

Because if you don't, you've got something in common with the majority of our interviewees for a vacancy with us who sat a brief test that consisted of 7 questions, none of which were much more difficult than that one. The best mark they could muster between them was 4 out of 7 - the average was 2. Now these aren't amoeba-brained nobodies we scraped up from the gutter, but individuals educated to DEGREE STANDARD, and given their apparent complete lack of aptitude for anything whatsoever, quite demanding in terms of their salary expectations.

What's gone wrong? Am I being unreasonable expecting to people to know that if you divide the year into quarters, there are four of them?

Rant over. Please go about your business

[LeeCovFox]

Now I'm not one to sit there eating my cornflakes and reading a copy of the Daily Mail whilst shaking my fist at the outside world because kids don't call me sir and I have to lock my door if I'm out of town for a few days, but our latest recruitment drive at work has actually made me wonder what state the country is in, and particularly our education system.

Do you know what 20% of 100 is?

Because if you don't, you've got something in common with the majority of our interviewees for a vacancy with us who sat a brief test that consisted of 7 questions, none of which were much more difficult than that one. The best mark they could muster between them was 4 out of 7 - the average was 2. Now these aren't amoeba-brained nobodies we scraped up from the gutter, but individuals educated to DEGREE STANDARD, and given their apparent complete lack of aptitude for anything whatsoever, quite demanding in terms of their salary expectations.

What's gone wrong? Am I being unreasonable expecting to people to know that if you divide the year into quarters, there are four of them?

Rant over. Please go about your business

Trust me, I'm at uni, and there are several amoeba-brained nobodies in attendance. My flatmate needed me to supervise him whilst 'cooking' soup in the microwave when he first moved in. He also expressed concern that the steam from our kettle would set off the smoke alarm. I may have shouted at him after the kettle incident. He is a university because he took a ridiculous number of A levels, achieving less than average results in each of them, but accumulating enough UCAS points because of the number of subjects taken. Its ridiculous, and frankly it baffles me, lovely as the guy is, that he is allowed anywhere near a higher education institution.

[Fox You Forest]

Trust me, I'm at uni, and there are several amoeba-brained nobodies in attendance. My flatmate needed me to supervise him whilst 'cooking' soup in the microwave when he first moved in. He also expressed concern that the steam from our kettle would set off the smoke alarm. I may have shouted at him after the kettle incident. He is a university because he took a ridiculous number of A levels, achieving less than average results in each of them, but accumulating enough UCAS points because of the number of subjects taken. Its ridiculous, and frankly it baffles me, lovely as the guy is, that he is allowed anywhere near a higher education institution.

[Bellend Sebastian]

One candidate particularly stood out by answering their mobile phone during the interview

[LeeCovFox]

One candidate particularly stood out by answering their mobile phone during the interview

You are joking?! Perhaps he was trying to demonstate to you that although he cannot successfully complete simple mathematical calculations, he does know how to use modern technology?

[Bellend Sebastian]

You are joking?! Perhaps he was trying to demonstate to you that although he cannot successfully complete simple mathematical calculations, he does know how to use modern technology?

Yes, that's EXACTLY how we interpreted it

[Trav Le Bleu]

The problem is this BS.

Specialisation - these people know everything there is to know about what they obtained their degree in. Outside of that, they know narfink!

Then you get people like me, who hated school, left when they were 16, never went collage or Uni, but have a wide range of knowledge in different fields (in my case from reading and watching informative documentaries - my school taught me naff all! (Alderman Newtons... the one they combined with New Parks and turned into the worst school in England, or there abouts)). I fancy I could pass a degree or two if only I had the attention span to concentrate on one thing for long enough, but I get bored easy

When I was in my early 20s I was sat on Porthminster Beach in St Ives with a group of mates and a gorgeous girl we had befriended over the holiday. She was a uni student and she asked me if I fancied a game of noughts and crosses in the sand. Since she was rather fit, I agreed (of course! I think I said elsewhere that I'm not stupid.) We played once - draw. A second time - draw. On the 3rd time she declared, "I'm going to beat you this time" and it dawned on me that, although gorgeous and despite being a Uni student (and I add, a thoroughly nice person, don't get me wrong) she was really rather fick. With an F. If there's one important lesson to learn from noughts and crosses, it's that you can't always win. I figured out at about the age of 10 that if you know what you are doing you will never lose at noughts and crosses, and whatismore, if your opponent also knows this, then you will never win. I tried to explain this to her, but she didn't get it. She's probably the CEO of some big company now - I'm a postman

[LeeCovFox]

Yes, that's EXACTLY how we interpreted it

Did you not smite him about the head?

[Fox You Forest]

One candidate particularly stood out by answering their mobile phone during the interview

Perhaps if he/she applied his/her mobile phone skills and the modern way of texting "L8R" and all that to the math test they may have answered more correctly.

[Benji]

What type/position of vacancy may i ask?

[LeeCovFox]

Perhaps if he/she applied his/her mobile phone skills and the modern way of texting "L8R" and all that to the math test they may have answered more correctly.

Oddly, recent studies show that the use, or at least the ability to use text speak, is linked to higher levels of intelligence. Something to do with the ability to interpret unconventional combinations of symbols almost as if it were a second language. There is something to be said for that theory I think. However its increasing use does annoy me, and just because the findings of this study (which of course can by their very nature never be absolutely conclusive) suggest such a correlation exists, doesn't mean that there aren't those who are practically unable to communicate in any other manner. There are. And they are exactly the people the stereotype would have you believe too.

[Bellend Sebastian]

The problem is this BS.

Specialisation - these people know everything there is to know about what they obtained their degree in. Outside of that, they know narfink!

Then you get people like me, who hated school, left when they were 16, never went collage or Uni, but have a wide range of knowledge in different fields (in my case from reading and watching informative documentaries - my school taught me naff all! (Alderman Newtons... the one they combined with New Parks and turned into the worst school in England, or there abouts)). I fancy I could pass a degree or two if only I had the attention span to concentrate on one thing for long enough, but I get bored easy

When I was in my early 20s I was sat on Porthminster Beach in St Ives with a group of mates and a gorgeous girl we had befriended over the holiday. She was a uni student and she asked me if I fancied a game of noughts and crosses in the sand. Since she was rather fit, I agreed (of course! I think I said elsewhere that I'm not stupid.) We played once - draw. A second time - draw. On the 3rd time she declared, "I'm going to beat you this time" and it dawned on me that, although gorgeous and despite being a Uni student (and I add, a thoroughly nice person, don't get me wrong) she was really rather fick. With an F. If there's one important lesson to learn from noughts and crosses, it's that you can't always win. I figured out at about the age of 10 that if you know what you are doing you will never lose at noughts and crosses, and whatismore, if your opponent also knows this, then you will never win. I tried to explain this to her, but she didn't get it. She's probably the CEO of some big company now - I'm a postman

To be honest mate, I don't think this lot would have understood the rules for noughts and crosses.

Did you not smite him about the head?

I would have done, but I didn't actually have the pleasure of interviewing this lot, but I've seen plenty almost as bad over the last few years.

The only positive I can think of is that there seem to be so many complete no hopers out there that if you have got anything at all going on in your brain then the chances of getting a decent job remain pretty good because there are a lot of vacancies out there but relatively few employable people

[AoWW]

Trust me, I'm at uni, and there are several amoeba-brained nobodies in attendance. My flatmate needed me to supervise him whilst 'cooking' soup in the microwave when he first moved in. He also expressed concern that the steam from our kettle would set off the smoke alarm. I may have shouted at him after the kettle incident. He is a university because he took a ridiculous number of A levels, achieving less than average results in each of them, but accumulating enough UCAS points because of the number of subjects taken. Its ridiculous, and frankly it baffles me, lovely as the guy is, that he is allowed anywhere near a higher education institution.

[LeeCovFox]

You need supervising in the kitchen? But aren't you one of them 'women'?

I'm single by the way ladies........

[Trav Le Bleu]

To be honest, I blame the teachers

Yes AoWW, I'm looking at you! <_<

[Bellend Sebastian]

What type/position of vacancy may i ask?

An administration sort of job assisting someone in accounts, so basic numeracy was fairly crucial. Not super massively challenging, but the sort of job you need someone for who's got a bit of something about them, exactly the sort of person that employers generally struggle to find

[Fox You Forest]

No. I don't swallow.

I do.

I'm single by the way ladies and gentlemen by the looks of things.

[LeeCovFox]

At no point did I specify what it is that I swallow.

[Fox You Forest]

At no point did I specify what it is that I swallow.

[Daggers]

At no point did I specify what it is that I swallow.

I did - everything.

Love the gas, Meg...love the gas...

[LeeCovFox]

Is that a thumbs down or are you giving me directions?

[Fox You Forest]

Is that a thumbs down or are you giving me directions?

[davieG]

Trust me, I'm at uni, and there are several amoeba-brained nobodies in attendance. My flatmate needed me to supervise him whilst 'cooking' soup in the microwave when he first moved in. He also expressed concern that the steam from our kettle would set off the smoke alarm. I may have shouted at him after the kettle incident. He is a university because he took a ridiculous number of A levels, achieving less than average results in each of them, but accumulating enough UCAS points because of the number of subjects taken. Its ridiculous, and frankly it baffles me, lovely as the guy is, that he is allowed anywhere near a higher education institution.

Actually if it was an optical smoke detector steam could set it off provided it was near enough, if there was sufficient steam even the condensed steam settling on the lens in the detector could set it off.

You should never put an optical smoke detector in a shower room always use a radiation based detector.

[LeeCovFox]

Actually if it was an optical smoke detector steam could set it off provided it was near enough, if there was sufficient steam even the condensed steam settling on the lens in the detector could set it off.

You should never put an optical smoke detector in a shower room always use a radiation based detector.

Oh don't ruin it for me. I enjoy bullying him over this so much, and you've now informed me that he may have had a point?

[davieG]

Oh don't ruin it for me. I enjoy bullying him over this so much, and you've now informed me that he may have had a point?

Sorry it's just nice to be a know all now and again, I used to be involved in their design but as I said you'd have to the kettle directly in line with the detector and for a reasoably period of time, showers on the other hand can do the job quite easily.

PS what's 20% of 100