This country etc

[Thracian]

Now I'm not one to sit there eating my cornflakes and reading a copy of the Daily Mail whilst shaking my fist at the outside world because kids don't call me sir and I have to lock my door if I'm out of town for a few days, but our latest recruitment drive at work has actually made me wonder what state the country is in, and particularly our education system.

Do you know what 20% of 100 is?

Because if you don't, you've got something in common with the majority of our interviewees for a vacancy with us who sat a brief test that consisted of 7 questions, none of which were much more difficult than that one. The best mark they could muster between them was 4 out of 7 - the average was 2. Now these aren't amoeba-brained nobodies we scraped up from the gutter, but individuals educated to DEGREE STANDARD, and given their apparent complete lack of aptitude for anything whatsoever, quite demanding in terms of their salary expectations.

What's gone wrong? Am I being unreasonable expecting to people to know that if you divide the year into quarters, there are four of them?

Rant over. Please go about your business

Doesn't surprise me one bit.

My youngest walked out of school aged eight and never really went back.

Said his form mistress was a hypocrite and that he saw no point in being taught by her.

Brightest thing he ever did in retrospect.

My oldest spoke of teachers who were unreliable, unfair and couldn't give a toss, an experience that left such an impression he's spent a fortune on fee-paying education for his kids.

I don't think he's ever regretted that decision.

Sad thing is that the above impressions cloud the fact that there are many capable, caring and conscientious teachers who really do get something out of their charges and who well deserve their salaries.

Those who can do. Those who can't doubtless get protection from their union while the kids have to cope whatever they get.

As do you further down the line. Best of luck.

[AoWW]

I blame teachers who can't even cook soup.

[Guest]

I blame everyone, apart from me. I'm untouchable. Quite literally.

[hairy]

One candidate particularly stood out by answering their mobile phone during the interview

Class.

I interviewed one once who was completely drunk. He couldn't even get a sentence out in the right order. He kept going on about the horse he keeps and rides every morning. Totally relevant for an estimaters position.

[Fez of Mahrez]

Class.

I interviewed one once who was completely drunk. He couldn't even get a sentence out in the right order. He kept going on about the horse he keeps and rides every morning. Totally relevant for an estimaters position.

I've got a job interview in London this afternoon for a gigantic global company. I meet the person specification perfectly, yet have done none of the tasks described in the job role and actually don't understand what some of them are. I've decided in the past couple of weeks that I don't want to move to London after all - something I've wanted to do since I can remember - and there may be a really interesting, challenging and rewarding position (you can tell I've been writing job applications a lot recently) coming up where I work at the moment.

Maybe I should just turn up drunk.

[The People's Hero]

Now I'm not one to sit there eating my cornflakes and reading a copy of the Daily Mail whilst shaking my fist at the outside world because kids don't call me sir and I have to lock my door if I'm out of town for a few days, but our latest recruitment drive at work has actually made me wonder what state the country is in, and particularly our education system.

Do you know what 20% of 100 is?

Because if you don't, you've got something in common with the majority of our interviewees for a vacancy with us who sat a brief test that consisted of 7 questions, none of which were much more difficult than that one. The best mark they could muster between them was 4 out of 7 - the average was 2. Now these aren't amoeba-brained nobodies we scraped up from the gutter, but individuals educated to DEGREE STANDARD, and given their apparent complete lack of aptitude for anything whatsoever, quite demanding in terms of their salary expectations.

What's gone wrong? Am I being unreasonable expecting to people to know that if you divide the year into quarters, there are four of them?

Rant over. Please go about your business

What's the position you're recruiting for?

Unsettled, intelligent applicant here. Possibly.

[Tabou]

Does anyone want to employ me?

I love my job, just fed up of paying £400 for petrol. And no, I don't want to move closer. Northants is boring.

[The People's Hero]

I interviewed a guy yesterday who was apparently an accountant, this was the position advertised for and applied for. Turns out he was incapable of very basic book-keeping, had very poor English language skills, could barely spell, had zero mental arithmetic skills (but could admittedly master a calculator) and wanted over £25k to do 4 days a week of book keeping to an abysmal standard.

Quite frankly, I can do book-keeping to a good standard, having taught myself last week in an hour. Double-entry, profit and loss, trial balances and all that bo ll ocks. I've set up a spreadsheet, which does all the (simpler) analysis we need. Admittedly I need an accountant still, someone who understands tax law (loopholes) etc but if that guy can get £25k for less than full time hours of poor book-keeping then I'm in the wrong fu cking job.

After my one hour self-taught book-keeping skills, learnt on a train from London Bridge to Maidstone East, I'm considering becoming a book-keeper part-time.

[Bellend Sebastian]

What's the position you're recruiting for?

Unsettled, intelligent applicant here. Possibly.

Assistant to accounts controller/payroll person. It's a book-keeping job really, but book keeping doesn't sound very sexy does it? I'm not sure it's worth your while relocating

[The People's Hero]

Assistant to accounts controller/payroll person. It's a book-keeping job really, but book keeping doesn't sound very sexy does it? I'm not sure it's worth your while relocating

Possibility of further professional training towards something like a bone fide accountancy, actuarial etc qualification and position?

[Uncle Monty]

Trust me, I'm at uni, and there are several amoeba-brained nobodies in attendance. My flatmate needed me to supervise him whilst 'cooking' soup in the microwave when he first moved in. He also expressed concern that the steam from our kettle would set off the smoke alarm. I may have shouted at him after the kettle incident. He is a university because he took a ridiculous number of A levels, achieving less than average results in each of them, but accumulating enough UCAS points because of the number of subjects taken. Its ridiculous, and frankly it baffles me, lovely as the guy is, that he is allowed anywhere near a higher education institution.

Hear hear. I'm also at uni, my flatmate once asked 'how do you wash up?' also during a debate in a lecture somebody thought that ww2 was sometime in the 60's.

[hairy]

TPH. We are looking for a trainee accountant at the moment. Interviewed one lad the other day with a degree in accounting and he only expected to be paid £15k. So dont get too excited.

[The People's Hero]

TPH. We are looking for a trainee accountant at the moment. Interviewed one lad the other day with a degree in accounting and he only expected to be paid £15k. So dont get too excited.

£15k?

Fu cking hell.

Are you, by any chance, looking for an underwriter, experienced in specialised niche insurance markets with nationwide contacts and a good reputation in the market?

[Bellend Sebastian]

Possibility of further professional training towards something like a bone fide accountancy, actuarial etc qualification and position?

I think the answer to that is a resounding no, unfortunately. You'll be telling me you know what 20% of 100 is next

[Guest]

Hear hear. I'm also at uni, my flatmate once asked 'how do you wash up?' also during a debate in a lecture somebody thought that ww2 was sometime in the 60's.

[The People's Hero]

I think the answer to that is a resounding no, unfortunately. You'll be telling me you know what 20% of 100 is next

I'd say it's 20. But as your new accountant - if you're paying enough.. 20% of anything is whatever you need it to be, sir.

[Daggers]

I'm looking for something highly paid and sexy.

[Zingari]

three quarters of the population are lazy, and the other half just plain stupid

[The People's Hero]

I'm looking for something highly paid and sexy.

As long as by sexy you mean illicit affairs with ugly, charmless women, could I recommend a spot in the current Cabinet?

[Guest]

I'm looking for something highly paid and sexy.

Lap Dancing???

[The People's Hero]

three quarters of the population are lazy, and the other half just plain stupid

All our applicants so far have been the rare breed which manage to combine both those characteristics with a rare ability to match ill-fitting suits, gaudy shirts and late 90's two-tone ties.

The guy who came in yesterday, I didn't know if he'd come for an interview or to sell me the 'second hand car of my dreams'.

[Master Fox]

All our applicants so far have been the rare breed which manage to combine both those characteristics with a rare ability to match ill-fitting suits, gaudy shirts and late 90's two-tone ties.

The guy who came in yesterday, I didn't know if he'd come for an interview or to sell me the 'second hand car of my dreams'.

Your office sounds like a right stuck up place to work.

[The People's Hero]

Your office sounds like a right stuck up place to work.

Hardly.

To be honest, it's only 3 of us at the moment - we dress down every day except for when we know we have visitors coming and it's quite a pleasant atmosphere.

Having said that the atmosphere has deteriorated this morning as we're out of both milk and biscuits, we all want a cuppa, but it's pouring outside.

I won't break.

[lildave3]

I'm looking for something highly paid and sexy.

Well I am highly paid.

[Master Fox]

Hardly.

To be honest, it's only 3 of us at the moment - we dress down every day except for when we know we have visitors coming and it's quite a pleasant atmosphere.

Having said that the atmosphere has deteriorated this morning as we're out of both milk and biscuits, we all want a cuppa, but it's pouring outside.

I won't break.

If I was interviewing someone and the fact they’ve even worn a suit would suffice. I don’t even know what a double coloured combo 90’s tie is? I haven’t worn a tie in about 3 years. I guess I'm not fashionable enough to care. I don't know what the dress code here is? Some peole wear suits, others t-shits and jeans, and there's even a bloke who walks around in shorts and sandals.

I'd risk getting struck by lighning to earn a cuppa.

Lunch soon....

I need a holiday.