The People's Hero Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 Not that I'm proud of it....but I once bought some cheap blow from a WPC... The most bent, corrupt and amoral of my friends (although this friendship is well and truly in jeopardy) is a policeman. He loves it.
the_bowman Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 I had dealings with the police about 3/4 years ago. They accused me of loitering around in a black car nrear some schoolboys,.. I have to disagree, I think the police are terrible. I remember about 3 years ago my dad and I caught some scrote inside our house. After a brief exchange ( ) I rang the police, informing them we had "Aprehended" the culprit. This was a friday night. Monday morning they arrived. Just tell them that you dodn't require their help any more, because you've shot the culprit. They'll be round faster that you can say "guillable"
l444ry Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 Leicester Police Drugs Raid Goes Tits-Up. Police in Leicester who executed a daring dawn raid on what they believed to be a local drugs den realised, somewhat belatedly, that something was amiss when, instead of drugs dealers armed with guns and machetes, they encountered an infirm grandmother in her dressing gown and slippers and with her hair in rollers. Alice Arbuckle, of Blackrod, had woken up early to feed her cat and her dog, both called Tiddles, and decided that she might as well empty her bowels while she was up. It was then that 15 officers wearing body armour smashed down her front door and another 8 came sailing through her kitchen window on ropes, in an effort to apprehend villains, but ended-up with only sweet old Alice for company. Mrs. Arbuckle, a 91-year-old widow, told reporters how the police adopted a "very stern approach" with her and ordered the grandma to "get down on the ground", whilst training their weapons on her. She told them: "Ee bah gum! 'Al put kettle on." Detective Chief Superintendent Mick Truncheon, who led the raid, said: "We spent weeks planning this bust, right down to the last detail, but it was an easy mistake to make. Alice lives at number 24, and we wanted number 42. What, with all the commotion and gunfire going on, the real criminals were able to make good their escape with their enormous stash, and we were left empty-handed." Mrs Arbuckle, however, did not escape the long arm of the law. Today she was being held under the Prevention Of Dog Mess On The Pavement Act (2008), and in relation to another offence relating to the Fraudulent Use Of A Bus Pass.
Bellend Sebastian Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 If we take out the ridiculous amount of paperwork that the PC's spend their time doing for ridiculous 'Crimes' such as dog fouling, littering, and not to mention speeding fines.... Our former beat constable told me that every arrest generates 8 hours of paperwork. No wonder there's never on around when you need one. Dog fouling and littering aren't the police's responsibility - it'll be a council warden who'll get you for those, but there's even less of those than there are police officers
Daggers Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 Our former beat constable told me that every arrest generates 8 hours of paperwork. No wonder there's never on around when you need one. Yes, but the eight hours does include sitting around in the car scoffing two large donner kebabs and eyeing up the local talent walking to the shops before going back to the station for a lunch break and a chance to check out whether the auction on Ebay has finished. Coppers are like everyone else, some are efficient and helpful while others are miserable lazy bastards. Generalising seems a bit pointless unless we are talking about people who run temp agencies or sell houses.
The People's Hero Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 people who run temp agencies or sell houses. Or sell insurance. Bastards.
Daggers Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 I wanna be in the police when I'm older I want to be in some of the police, not all of them. This one for example could take down my particulars anytime. She could read me my rights. She could bring me in for questioning. She could... [vanishes into a euphemism cul-de-sac]
The People's Hero Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 She could... [vanishes into a euphemism cul-de-sac] Letsby Avenue?
Guest Posted 30 June 2008 Posted 30 June 2008 Oh no we're legal now, teachers no longer hit you across the knuckles with a rule for using you're left hand or eating your food with the knife & fork in the 'wrong' hands.Mind you they still laugh at me behind my back when they watch me play football or golf. The day our coach tried to teach us the Cruyff turn..... The worst of it was, he'd never noticed I was totally left-sided.
Daggers Posted 1 July 2008 Posted 1 July 2008 The day our coach tried to teach us the Cruyff turn..... The worst of it was, he'd never noticed I was totally left-sided. Lisa learning to turn like Cruyff
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