General Smuts Posted 9 April 2009 Author Posted 9 April 2009 i can't believe my one about fez will never see the light of day, unless i just add it to my 'best of.....' in a few years Twill too. It'll get popped up in here in a minute in fact.
General Smuts Posted 9 April 2009 Author Posted 9 April 2009 Stez Vs Fez: fez; foxestalk's elder statesman, fills up on vegetarian bran, the last of the 'talk's dwindling clan, no meat shall touch his pan. couldn't handle the mod game, felt he copped the blame, like moths to a flame, t'was his name in the frame, what a shame; it's such a lame claim. his rhymes are pinched, saw 'vs stez' and flinched, knows he's gonna get lynched words he sees; like christmas they're gonna get grinched. what's his job? anyone know? does he hoe, sow and mow? err, no. he walks the streets, stealing sweets, treats and beats, passing off deceits, fearing defeats 'Just vote for me and you'll see, just how damn good I can be.' he said with glee, but i'm sure you'd agree; his words are wooden like a tree, going downhill like a ski, stink like brie, he's got nothing on this lyrical mc. likes some weird bands, who noone understands, after this we may shake hands, until then my dissing expands, like glands encased in hands, it's what the public demands. recently i heard this vegetarian thing is a sham, he's been seen eating wafer thin ham, lamb and spam ate dog, in vietnam. though he's always on the beecham, so it could be a scam. my rhymes are like pool balls in a sock, hotter than volcanic rock, i'm here to knock him off his block, his rhymes are schlock. it's time to take stock, down a glass of hock, and return to mock the crock he's written, ad-hoc MTWG Vs El Empty The man's got no style, grace, panache, Highly doubtful he gets much gash, Only when he's got enough cash, "3 quid for a blowie? I'll give it a bash", Comically, he's done in a flash, So he has to go back to his house and relax, With his TV remote and his favourite stash, Out with his tadger to give it a thrash, No doubt while smoking a shitload of hash, And crusty tissues in a bin full of trash, Don't worry, not a combo of hot jizz and ash, Just needs Kleenex to clear up his "splash" He should back down now, Realise he's been tamed, By an 18 year old? You should be ashamed, See, I'm new to this, you might be a pro, But I'm still determined to put on a show, Who knows who he lives? Prob'ly a bum, Who cracks off daily to Anne Widdecombe, The hair, the voice, the breasts, the eyes, Are you Smutsy in disguise? Nah, seriously, Widdecombe's hot, For a woman that looks like a crinkly scrot, Can see her with her baps out on my offshore yacht, On second thoughts...Probably not, I bet in his entry he shows me no love, But come tonight I'll wear him like a glove, For too long, my weapon, have I been concealing, I'll have him yelling, shouting, squealing, And left with a stinging, sensational feeling, Could go on, but that doesn't tempt me, 'Cause I know this dude's running on el empty, Just been done by Nihat the former, With a ring, burning, like last night's korma. Nationwider Vs AFiE Straight outta Chigwell (or other Essex ghettos) A Fox In Essex looks mighty fine in his white stilettos Propping up the bar in his green mankini Ordering pints of diet lambrini Works in Epping Forest as a part-time florist Votes for Johnson, Boris - has a cat called Morris Still waiting for the chorus? I'm trying not to bore us His pet tortoise Doris is full of rigor mortis Its true that no rhyme by 'Wider would be complete without props to Angela Lansbury Queen of daytime TV? Drink a vase of gravy One verse to go and it's all gone crazy But when Esso's in his crib you might find that he likes Diagnosis Murder with Dick Van Dyke Or maybe some Columbo with a cup of tea Only stopping on Live Pause so he can have a wee
Trav Le Bleu Posted 9 April 2009 Posted 9 April 2009 Nationwider Vs AFiEStraight outta Chigwell (or other Essex ghettos) A Fox In Essex looks mighty fine in his white stilettos Propping up the bar in his green mankini Ordering pints of diet lambrini Works in Epping Forest as a part-time florist Votes for Johnson, Boris - has a cat called Morris Still waiting for the chorus? I'm trying not to bore us His pet tortoise Doris is full of rigor mortis Its true that no rhyme by 'Wider would be complete without props to Angela Lansbury Queen of daytime TV? Drink a vase of gravy One verse to go and it's all gone crazy But when Esso's in his crib you might find that he likes Diagnosis Murder with Dick Van Dyke Or maybe some Columbo with a cup of tea Only stopping on Live Pause so he can have a wee Bit of a NWA inspiration there? PS tortoise rhymes better with rigor mortis
Miquel The Work Geordie Posted 9 April 2009 Posted 9 April 2009 MTWG Vs El EmptyThe man's got no style, grace, panache, Highly doubtful he gets much gash, Only when he's got enough cash, "3 quid for a blowie? I'll give it a bash", Comically, he's done in a flash, So he has to go back to his house and relax, With his TV remote and his favourite stash, Out with his tadger to give it a thrash, No doubt while smoking a shitload of hash, And crusty tissues in a bin full of trash, Don't worry, not a combo of hot jizz and ash, Just needs Kleenex to clear up his "splash" He should back down now, Realise he's been tamed, By an 18 year old? You should be ashamed, See, I'm new to this, you might be a pro, But I'm still determined to put on a show, Who knows who he lives? Prob'ly a bum, Who cracks off daily to Anne Widdecombe, The hair, the voice, the breasts, the eyes, Are you Smutsy in disguise? Nah, seriously, Widdecombe's hot, For a woman that looks like a crinkly scrot, Can see her with her baps out on my offshore yacht, On second thoughts...Probably not, I bet in his entry he shows me no love, But come tonight I'll wear him like a glove, For too long, my weapon, have I been concealing, I'll have him yelling, shouting, squealing, And left with a stinging, sensational feeling, Could go on, but that doesn't tempt me, 'Cause I know this dude's running on el empty, Just been done by Nihat the former, With a ring, burning, like last night's korma. Took me ages that did. I'll never be able to come up with anything that good again.
Fox You Forest Posted 9 April 2009 Posted 9 April 2009 Took me ages that did. I'll never be able to come up with anything that good again. You're disqualified too many verses.
General Smuts Posted 9 April 2009 Author Posted 9 April 2009 You're disqualified too many verses. He was due a 2 vote deduction.
stez Posted 9 April 2009 Posted 9 April 2009 stezfez; foxestalk's elder statesman, fills up on vegetarian bran, the last of the 'talk's dwindling clan, no meat shall touch his pan. couldn't handle the mod game, felt he copped the blame, like moths to a flame, t'was his name in the frame, what a shame; it's such a lame claim. his rhymes are pinched, saw 'vs stez' and flinched, knows he's gonna get lynched words he sees; like christmas they're gonna get grinched. what's his job? anyone know? does he hoe, sow and mow? err, no. he walks the streets, stealing sweets, treats and beats, passing off deceits, fearing defeats 'Just vote for me and you'll see, just how damn good I can be.' he said with glee, but i'm sure you'd agree; his words are wooden like a tree, going downhill like a ski, stink like brie, he's got nothing on this lyrical mc. likes some weird bands, who noone understands, after this we may shake hands, until then my dissing expands, like glands encased in hands, it's what the public demands. recently i heard this vegetarian thing is a sham, he's been seen eating wafer thin ham, lamb and spam ate dog, in vietnam. though he's always on the beecham, so it could be a scam. my rhymes are like pool balls in a sock, hotter than volcanic rock, i'm here to knock him off his block, his rhymes are schlock. it's time to take stock, down a glass of hock, and return to mock the crock he's written, ad-hoc
Nationwider Posted 12 April 2009 Posted 12 April 2009 I'm going to have to produce something exceptional in the next round. It's that 'difficult' 3rd round, y'know.
stez Posted 12 April 2009 Posted 12 April 2009 I'm going to have to produce something exceptional in the next round. It's that 'difficult' 3rd round, y'know. same, i've got nothing on peuts, he just wears pocketless shirts and talks about minges all the time. gimme summat to work with please, smuts!
BoneDog Posted 13 April 2009 Posted 13 April 2009 Can't believe I missed this! Aint been on here for nearly a week, clean forgot. MTWG did well though, gave me a good batterin! It would of been close How did he know I wanted to bag Ann?
General Smuts Posted 14 April 2009 Author Posted 14 April 2009 I'm going to have to produce something exceptional in the next round. It's that 'difficult' 3rd round, y'know. same, i've got nothing on peuts, he just wears pocketless shirts and talks about minges all the time. gimme summat to work with please, smuts! Can we speed this along a bit please? I know i said no deadline but if you could have these in by Wednesday eventide that'd be smashing. -x-
stez Posted 14 April 2009 Posted 14 April 2009 Can we speed this along a bit please? I know i said no deadline but if you could have these in by Wednesday eventide that'd be smashing.-x- no worries, i've even got (photoshopped) album art
Nationwider Posted 14 April 2009 Posted 14 April 2009 Can we speed this along a bit please? I know i said no deadline but if you could have these in by Wednesday eventide that'd be smashing.-x- Aye, Wednesday it is then.
General Smuts Posted 15 April 2009 Author Posted 15 April 2009 Aye, Wednesday it is then. Wednesday?!?!?! Cheers Ladies. If y'all want to take Stez's lead and make yourself some album art that's your perogative. I may have to if only to compete!
General Smuts Posted 15 April 2009 Author Posted 15 April 2009 I have to say, Stezza's is brilliant! I do love reading about myself, and am looking forward to this
General Smuts Posted 15 April 2009 Author Posted 15 April 2009 Stez you bastard, why do you have to be so nice. I have literally nothing bad to say about you!
stez Posted 15 April 2009 Posted 15 April 2009 Stez you bastard, why do you have to be so nice. I have literally nothing bad to say about you! doing yours was easy........
General Smuts Posted 15 April 2009 Author Posted 15 April 2009 doing yours was easy........ 'Doing' and 'easy' in the same sentence and not a hint of a set up? Get on it Nationwider!
General Smuts Posted 15 April 2009 Author Posted 15 April 2009 I'll send mine in a sec Smuts. That is very very good.
General Smuts Posted 15 April 2009 Author Posted 15 April 2009 As an aside to my rap. The word 'Chebsticle' is now copyrighted.
stez Posted 15 April 2009 Posted 15 April 2009 'Doing' and 'easy' in the same sentence and not a hint of a set up?Get on it Nationwider! like i say, it was too easy! dunno what time nationwider gets up these days As an aside to my rap. The word 'Chebsticle' is now copyrighted. intrigued
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