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Stay Positive

Your worst attempts at chatting up the opposite sex?

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Posted

When I was younger and went clubbing regularly, we used to do "chat up line night", where we'd all give each other chat up lines to use throughout the night. The problem with this was that, whilst it started off with lines that were "quite cheeky" and reasonably funny, the more we drank, we'd give each other more insulting ones, or, even worse, nonsensical ones. I'll never forget the look of terror on one girl's face when I had to drunkenly tell her "I used to have a fish but I lost the head", courtesy of one of my mates. Thanks a bunch! She probably thought I'd escaped from a mental institution or something.

On the other hand, sometimes a line worked when you least expected it. Believe it or not, my most successful line ran thus:

Me: I hope you've got a good shovel.

Girl: Why?

Me: because I'm shit in bed.

Astoundingly, both times I used this, the girl collapes in a fit of giggles and we got on rather well. Maybe it's because it was the least macho thing imaginable and they weren't expecting it.

Posted

I once fell off a chair trying to chat up a bird.

That didn't go well.

Just the other month I was talking to this girl. She was sat and I ended up sitting on the armchair of her chair (not sure why I did that actually), I think she thought I was stood. When she got up, the chair went backwards (perhaps because of the weight of me) and I ended up falling off of it.

Posted

I attempted to pull a girl in a club in Edinburgh by taking my top off and gyrating behind her. I'd also taken about 5 Es beforehand so I was rather worse for wear. Needless to say I was unsuccessful in my attempts.

Posted

I know a guy that was chatting to a girl and just simply came out with "Give us a gobble". It didn't go down well (pardon the pun).

I attempted to pull a girl in a club in Edinburgh by taking my top off and gyrating behind her. I'd also taken about 5 Es beforehand so I was rather worse for wear. Needless to say I was unsuccessful in my attempts.

:nono:

Posted

A friend of mine went up to two girls standing at a bar, one was attractive the other not so much, he turned to the less attractive one and said "fancy a dance"? She said yes, so he replied "ok fvck off onto the dance floor then I want to talk to your mate". Luckily they found it funny and he ended up buying them both drinks.

Posted

A friend of mine went up to two girls standing at a bar, one was attractive the other not so much, he turned to the less attractive one and said "fancy a dance"? She said yes, so he replied "ok fvck off onto the dance floor then I want to talk to your mate". Luckily they found it funny and he ended up buying them both drinks.

That's not exactly the end result he was looking for though, is it?

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