ozvaldo

Abdul’s looked good tonight.

I’m 36. Morbidly obese. And I was up shitting myself snd vomiting all last night. Yet I am certain I’m much faster than professional footballer and Leicester City’s number 9, Jordan Ayew.

Considering it’s pissing down, we’re poor on the ball, and we crumble every time the opposition presses us, it’s a good job we’re trying to play out from the back. It’s working really well.

Ayew is a proper leader.

There is zero plan here.

He needs sacking just based on that 11.

Why not play 3 at the back, then have Ricardo and Aluko as wingbacks? This looks like disaster.

We don’t have a striker that runs in behind to create space and/or busts a gut to get across the front man for poacher-type goals. Bobby should have got at least one, yes. But being in those positions without an effective striker really does cause us issues. The amount of times Ayew either stood still or went backwards was ridiculous.

If we had a proper striker, we’d have won today. We’d have had at least 3 in the first half.

I have no idea how he is a professional footballer and is on contract until 2029. He is ****ing awful. My stools are stronger than his defensive ability.

Luke Thomas is ****ing terrible.

I’ll be pumpin’ the Mrs’ chunky tonight, boys. That’s big news.

I’d rather we signed ****ing Luke Littler. I’m done with this club. I can’t do anymore. I’m out.

It’s ok, Daka’s coming on.

We are more rancid than my mother-in-law.

Spotted marching down Raw Dykes Road earlier today… Even Top’s monks have had enough.

He is a weak lightweight bag of human dog shıt.

Top will probably put Rudkin in the dugout.

The problem is - this is becoming almost expected and weirdly accepted. Wilder had his team playing smart, aggressive football. He himself was even in the ear of our players. Very Nigel Pearson-esque. We’re just too nice and soft and predictable. It’s just shit.

That’s Rudkin for you.

Luke Thomas really is a shit defender. He is simply awful.

Be nice if Fatawu could stop being selfless and instead start trying to take everyone on. That would be refreshing to see.

Record breakers 🙌

Bring him home.

I’m about 22 stone. I’m 36 years old. And the most competitive football I’ve ever played was in a ‘Man vs Fat’ tournament. Yet I’m sure I’m faster, more composed and have a better eye for goal than Carranza.