Bellend Sebastian

Does anyone else listen to The Rest is Politics US? Just been digesting the latest episode and I'm now a bit less frightened that Biden is going to try and stick it out. It doesn't sound like he's got much support left at all now and things will start to happen after the NATO summit has concluded

It takes quite a lot to turn my stomach but that's not making me feel well

I suppose they might have been hoping for a spectacular fiery accident but as the Hindenburg was 70 odd years later that might not have been on their radar. You're probably right, everyone was bored and drunk and looking for a reason to kick off. Victorian drunkard 1: What is your view on Mr Coxwell's aerial contraption? Victorian drunkard 2: Well I would consider it fairly magnificent Victorian drunkard 1: (conspiratorially) Well I am led to believe on good authority that it is neither his biggest nor his best Victorian drunkard 2: You f***ing wot mate? (hurls spinning jenny across park)

1) That's a big crowd to watch something go up in the air and float off. Can't have been much else on that weekend 2) What a thing to riot about

People debating the merits or otherwise of Dysons on Twitter. Yes, like Corky I still call it Twitter

This was written a couple of months before the election but I thought it was very interesting and I suspect there's at least some truth in the arguments made: https://www.bylinesupplement.com/p/politics-isnt-about-politics-for

You'd think he'd be used to being accused of impropriety by now and be a bit more relaxed about it. I watched the Mark Matlock interview from GB News and I can confirm beyond reasonable doubt that it is with a bloke calling himself Mark Matlock. He even looks A BIT like the bloke in the picture. I'm just delighted that he looks so well after his health emergency at the weekend. Unlike myself, Byline Times are not prepared to give Reform the benefit of the doubt and even after this irrefutable proof was produced are saying there are 75 Reform candidates with apparently no internet footprint, which I'm sure is fine

Sadly it seems a golden opportunity has been missed as whoever it is running "his" Twitter account hasn't been able to help themselves, or maybe Chat GPT is just modelling its responses on those of other Reform candidates. I'm sure they'll all be pondering the meaning of existence now. Who's to say that all the candidates that had actual pictures of themselves taken and went out and campaigned and appeared at the count, looking tired/triumphant/crushed were any more real than Mr Matlock?

I went to see The Darkness at Warwick Castle of all places on Thursday, and had a great time. Smashing place for a gig - if they ever put on someone that you fancy, I heartily recommend it

Thanks to you, I just have. Oh dear. There's a Twitter account in Mark Matlock's name that has no photos of him but is loudly saying "I am real". Could it be that 1700 people have voted for a picture?

In the spirit of positivity that only someone that occasionally talks about themselves in the third person like Bellend Sebastian can bring to the table, when you don't get the outcome you want, do you want them to do well? I've been disappointed by outcomes many times, but I also like being proved wrong, mainly because if I predict correctly that things will be bad they'll probably be bad for everyone. I thought leaving the EU was a terrible idea but I didn't KNOW that it was, and there's zero satisfaction saying I told you so after the event. Imagine if it had been great! I'd be the first to say I've been an absolute f***wit. Similarly, if Boris Johnson had been an inspiration and led the nation to greatness, and hadn't acted in pretty much exactly the way you would expect someone who'd had multiple affairs and been sacked from jobs for lying, I'd have been going "ha ha, good old Boris" like some people still do now, instead of thinking that the world has gone f**king mad (or at least not done the absolute bare minimum of due diligence). My parents simply cannot bare to admit that the Blair years did not really cause them any problems - when I got in on Thursday and they'd been watching the election coverage while babysitting for us, they were naturally crushed by the evening's events, and their reference point for explaining to me the evils of the Labour movement was Harold Wilson. They think Starmer is evil and a big shit, and I dare say that however obvious it becomes that that isn't the case, I don't think they'll ever concede that. But why not?

Parafox's wife: Why are you even mentioning those things

Parafox's wife: this washing machine is enormous, I would almost say it's too big for domestic use. How on earth did you end up buying this one? Parafox: I can explain Parafox's wife: Can you really? Parafox: No

I know next to nothing about this but I'm guessing it's something to do with Hindu nationalists, who see their interests overlapping with a Conservative agenda. I don't think this is as big a surprise as it looks, Tory support in the city has been growing for a while, and add in lack of enthusiasm for Labour over Gaza and here we are

When she got in I said, you're still MY "big beast", Pen!!!!

I think even my parents might think it's "a bit much". "Rampant wokery"

I've just seen the front page of today's Daily Mail and I'm very sorry to wheel out an old joke but I've taken less hysterical hostages

You missed my favourite: "AT LAST: A TRUE TORY BUDGET" just before the "woke gilt markets" shat themselves

Just been reading my folks' Daily Mail so now fully up to speed with the dangers of "Starmerism". Another article did acknowledge Rachel Reeves' excellent business attire

But "Boris" "gets things done"

So in % terms that's not that bad. I'm impressed that people would buy a car that only goes 75 miles. I think folk frequently overstate their range needs but that's going some

I was talking to what I suppose you'd call an "early adopter" the other day who had owned a Tesla Model S from new in 2014 and he reckoned that the battery had lost, at worst, about 10% capacity, which is in line with what I've read about Teslas elsewhere. I think it's only the very early Nissan Leafs that had serious battery degradation issues. I know someone with one of those that now has a range of about 60 miles, but I can't imagine they could go all that far to start with

I think both my in-laws and parents will still vote Conservative. I've met a few lifelong Tory voters that just cannot bring themselves to give them their vote this time round, some I think will vote Lib Dem and some almost seem to be convincing themselves that they can vote Labour. I don't think anyone in my family will do anything different though - my parents pretty much see the Tory party and government as the same thing - if someone else gets in, it's a sign of societal collapse, a disruption to the normal order of things. However dreadful they are, anything else is inevitably worse. My father in law probably likes Reform's messaging (I imagine my folks are intrigued but will ultimately find Farage just too common) but ultimately, like my parents, will do what the Daily Mail says. That says, if The Sun comes out for Labour (I don't think they have, although I've not been paying attention) it will blow his mind as he frequently buys The Sun and The Daily Mail

Would seem rude not too. I was alright with us being crap but now I've got the stress of us being nearly good enough

Four can Sunday evening it is then