Bellend Sebastian

If you like all girl hardcore Japanese punk rock and pretty dresses then Otoboke Beaver tick those boxes very well

We got a bit bored of the admittedly very slick Coldplay show and are watching The Gossip instead. A lot of fun

Watching the PJ Harvey set. Belting

You'll never guess who got slightly pissed on IPA this evening. It was literally all they had

He's on stage again now. I want him to be shite again so that actually do something about it

Whisky drinkers uncomfortably close to letting the side down, what the hell are you doing? Academic really as I expect this is in reality just an exercise to identify IPA drinkers with a view to them being tracked down and killed

People going on about not seeing white dog shit anymore should check out the fine example on Hinckley Road that was there earlier. A reminder of simpler, better times

Unbelievable. How thick are these people?

If anyone ever wants to interact with the very worst people to have ever been born, may I direct you to the comments section on virtually any story on the Leicester Mercury website

I can't see most of that behind the paywall but the bit that I can see is basically "if they do this thing (which is not in the manifesto and mentioned nowhere else) then this would happen"

Well, you know, someone will say it's not specific enough. That's why many call me Bellend Oddly Specific Sebastian

If her head were normal size I don't think it would work

Well it's certainly inappropriate. Err... thanks?

Rachel Reeves' less severe new look has real vibes of meeting a middle manager that makes your life a f-ing misery in the week outside of work and seeing another side of her that leads to an inappropriate liaison that is regrettable for all parties and yes it is you that loses your job

Folk love that C series. I was too tight for that

I'm assuming she'll get back in?

Not seen any campaign posters or canvassers round my way yet, but I did see a lovely embroidered "TORIES OUT" sign in someone's window when I walked my kid to school this morning

I think we're hours away from their true masters adopting a physical form and hunting them down in the streets with some sort of death ray

Anyone not fancying returning to the FT default of critiquing women's appearances, just follow my lead and dissect everyone's terrible personalities, it's much more fun

He always looks tired, I find that really relatable

Since the EDL fell from favour these lads just don't have a political home, bless them

Air travel since the 70s has been boringly safe for the most part, so we increasingly have to rely on this sort of heady idiocy to bring some excitement into the mix again, although LEADING AIRCRAFT MANUFACTURER REDACTED FOR LEGAL REASONS are of course doing their bit as well with their QUALITY CONTROL SYSTEM REDACTED that seems set on bringing back the golden age of planes falling to bits in mid air or randomly going out of control. Before that era it's amazing that anyone got on an aircraft at all. Ran out of fuel. Wings fell off. Caught fire. Bit foggy so crashed into house. Crashed because everyone went to one side to look out the window. Fly straight into mountain that wasn't meant to be there

After 3 incidences in a week of cars coming towards me crossing the centre line by quite a lot for no reason before the driver remembers they're in control of a vehicle and correcting it, I'm wondering if staying on your side of the road is no longer considered a basic requirement of driving

There's nearly 3 weeks to go, they may yet win me over

I got married under the Conservatives Had two healthy children under the Conservatives Had a couple of lovely holidays under the Conservatives Learned some great guitar riffs under the Conservatives Had some smashing puddings under the Conservatives Yet still I hate them