Miquel The Work Geordie

Top's tight blazers have cut off the circulation to his brain

French commentary going in on Cooper

BUT WHO CARES, SHE WALKS LIKE RIHANNA

Bobby Reid has the late 90s Majorca braid trim. Would you want him in the trenches?

Oh you know old Mick do ya You could say that....I'm his son DU DU DUF DUFUFUFUFUF

Its like saying your favourite Beatles song is Let It Be but for me I can look no further than the Big Man saying "I'm not gonna do it!" thinking the baying crowd at the 2000 BRITS were desperate for him to do his Ali G impression, oblivious to the fact his wife's tit was out. Impeccable

But a great broadcaster – along with his wife Judy, of course

Its why we call him the Britney of football

Ayew in buoyant mood after receiving his free Parker pen following his signing on to SAGA

LOW U LISSA WE DO HOOOOOOH LISSA WILLOW U

Commentator on my stream just said "fans who are Steve Cooper IN are nerds" what the hell

Steve Cooper has done a lot of terrible things in his godforsaken tenure at our pitiful little club but dampening enthusiasm for the Carabao has to be right up there

Would genuinely take Olly Murs over Soumare

Having a rancid shit in Goals toilets would probably improve them, you must've been desperate to step foot in a trap there. A true if you know you know situation imo!

That Zirkzee for them has looked like he wears Rockports instead of football boots in the Barclays so far, incoming hat trick

Steve Cooper kisses his mum on the mouth

I'll be there with my foil wrapped tin of Carabao

Not a big one from me but I save my best efforts for whenever I'm in the London or Leeds office, more specifically London as I like to mark my territory down there amongst the metropolitan elite. If I don't leave the bowl looking like a used potter's wheel then it's an unsuccessful trip for me. I want to be sending flowers to beloved family and friends of cleaners

Jordan, Odsonne and Bobby. JOB up top, what are they cooking down there in the retirement village 🔥👨🏻‍🍳

Something weirdly satisfying about seeing people get mugged off with flavourless brown discs in football grounds

Dalot has actually been one of their better players over the past 18 months - 2 years

Jeffa Capes (Rest in P)

Aye but Southampton finished 6th when we won the league, not 7th. Likewise Villa didn't finish 7th last year, so it's not that. The Unbelievable Jeff page on Facebook has just got 15/16 bang wrong.

I think that's what he's getting at. 2 down against Arsenal at half time but "drew" the second half 2-2. It's a really poorly put together tweet and a bit of a non stat regardless imo