Facecloth

It is the last ever. Been a really good show for the past decade.

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please." The bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one." The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together. The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died." The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine--I just quit drinking."

Seems worth even more of a shot now that Arsenal have had to start with a pensioner in goal.

Seems like a happy guy

I do. Love The Fiver. Noticed nobody had put on this thread so thought I'd add it.

Well it is National Cleavage day apparently. Link

That would have done, you didn't need the rest.

The sex change surgeon who lives next door is really creepy, he always gives me the willies.

Lily Allen. Or more to the point Lily Allen announcing she's giving up fame, by filming an hour long documentary for Channel 4 about giving up fame, to be shown to millions of viewers, and therefore keeping her famous. If she really wanted to quit fame she'd just fuck off.

I don't think its appropriate to make jokes about the latest tragedy. I know its hard to feel sorry for them because they are foreigners but you have to remember they have lost everything in an instant and are left with nothing!.... So from now on no more jokes about Arsenal.

Gah don't get me started on women at the moment I'll be typing all night! Thought they'd moved it to the graveyard slot, late on a Sunday night.

Also hate it when people treat you like shit because they clearly have a problem, but aren't prepared to tell you something's wrong or what it is. If you're not prepared to tell me what your problem is, or even that you have one, don't dump your mood on me. A lad at work is really bad for it, does my head in. It's not that I want to know peoples problems, just that I would be able to understand why they're being an arse if they let me know something's wrong, and then I might give them some leeway, but if they're gonna snap at me for seemingly no reason I'm likely to snap back, and that's just gonna make them feel worse.

Should have gone on your own. http://www.foxestalk.co.uk/forums/index.php?showtopic=71696

> Corrie

I don't know how you carry on in life, it must be so hard for you to live like that.

Mark Hughes and Ailsa from Home and Away.

I bedded down in a hedge near the train station about 9 years ago after a messy night out and lost my phone as well. Maybe it was the same hedge.

Cat in a sweet jar.

Did something similar once, stuck fiver on Gallas instead of Hasselbaink to score first. Won £200.

Jacques Villeneuve Vincent Tabak (man accused of murdering Jo Yeates in Bristol)

Thought Djokovic was going to do the full monty at the end there! I don't get all the Murray hate in this country though. Sure he can be a mardy **** at times, but surely anyone who likes the game can see that he, by a long distance is the best tennis player Britain has produced in, well ever. Even by losing 3 Grand Slam finals he has done more than every other British male tennis player in the Open era. If we want tennis to improve in this country then we need more Murrays, and we need to support them, because if all someone has to do is lose 3 finals to outshine every other player from the past then it shows how shit British tennis has been for the last 40 years. If our players our are going to get ridiculed for improving, what's the point in them even bothering.

Hopefully this is Djokovic starting to choke.

Djokovic taking control now.