Nationwider

[Fez of Mahrez]

I like cheese and pineapple. Preferably with green peppers and sweetcorn on a pizza.

[The People's Hero]

Give me half an hour to do some half-arsed work and I'll be back to you with some half-arsed answers and perhaps 15 more half-arsed questions.

[Alexikokopops]

Does England have a cheese and pineapple on sticks eating team?

Yes, established in 1974.

Keep with the times.

[Fez of Mahrez]

' date='Jun 29 2006, 03:50 PM' post='342884']

Yes, established in 1974.

Keep with the times.

I remember the 25th anniversary fondly. Almost eclipsed the new millennium.

[Alexikokopops]

I remember the 25th anniversary fondly. Almost eclipsed the new millennium.

As it should, as it should.

BOught a tear to my eye.

I can only dream of representing them one day, maybe Phube will have better luck.

[The People's Hero]

The Hero of the People.......

1. Who in your opinion was the most luscious young lady in Beaumont Hall that balmy summer of 2003?

Well, my girlfriend lived in Beaumont (block 6) so really I should say her. In fact, she won Miss Leicester without ever qualifying to take part. She just happened to be there. I tell you who wasn't Miss Leicester - the girl who spent the 10 minute bus ride to uni on the 80 slagging me off for being slimey and arrogant, not quite sure if she realised my girlfriend was sat behind her. I might be slimey and arrogant, but at least I don't have a face like a bulldog licking nettles.

2. What is Maidstone like on a Friday night?

Expensive (but cheap), pretentious (but tacky), loud (but somehow vacuous), busy (yet dull) and full of pikeys.

3. What time is the last bus home?

Dunno. Taxis are expensive and the train to East Malling goes for the last time at 10.39 (and yes I have missed this many times) but somehow I never considered a bus - preferring to walk.

4. How much would you pay for the guitar Bob Dylan first went electric on?

I'm a bit skint... and it's still *only* a guitar. I can't decide whether I'd like to meet him or not. I don't think he could live up to my hopes.

5. Who's your favourite Leicester player ever, other than Ian Marshall?

Take yer pick from Steve Walsh, Steve Guppy and Tony Cottee.

6. Who's the best looking famous lady you reckon you could get into bed for sex and that?

I lost those abilities LONG LONG ago. Been with my girlfriend for nearly six years mate...

7. What's your middle name?

Gordon.

8. If you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be?

I could really go for a garribaldi biscu... NAY! A raisin and biscuit yorkie.

9. What is your favourite insult?

Cockbadger.

10. Who do you prefer, Nationwider or Knighton Matt?

I haven't actually met NW (but would like to), although KM is a top bloke. I'd like to meet you, too, Fezzler.

11. Where would you choose to go on holiday for 2 weeks, all expenses taken care of?

I really like Rhodes. Kefalonia maybe? I don't know. I think the company and your own mindset really make a holiday. I'm going to the East Coast of Ibiza this year. All I could afford, especially as I'm a bit of a snob and my gf wanted at least 4*.

12. If you had to support a football team other than Leicester for a season, who would it be?

I follow Peterborough and Barnsley due to the influence of two friends of mine. But I'm going to plump for Port Vale.

13. If you had to give up football or women for a year, which would it be?

Football.

14. Are there any shirt & tie combos you do not own?

I threw away a load of ties I never wear/didn't like. I have about 45. Always buying more. And cuff links - weakness of mine.

My next purchase is to be a Paul Smith signature striped shirt. I just can't afford it. Donations welcome.

15. What's your favourite Subway sauce? (Combinations accepted)

Sweet Onion.

Questions to follow...

But Alex(Ikokopops) will be the man (not a boy) in the hot seat.

[The People's Hero]

I can't be bothered with new questions.

Feel free to pick any set already used Alex...

[Nationwider]

I'm emotionally drained.

[The People's Hero]

How's it feel to have such a spankingly good thread named after you Wideo?

[Nationwider]

How's it feel to have such a spankingly good thread named after you Wideo?

I've had a jaunty skip in my step all day. It feels good actually. Like I've had an emotionally and psychological rodding. They were toughies.

Good evening, General Chattlers, by the way. Its nearly the weekend...

[Knighton Matt]

This thread is rich, pretentious and full of intellectual goodness! Have it!

[Alexikokopops]

I can't be bothered with new questions.

Feel free to pick any set already used Alex...

Hokey cokey, I've picked Nationwider's

1 - Who were your first objects of ardour, real and famous? And did they ever know about your feelings?

I used to have a crush on Anneka Rice when I was little.

I don't remember her being that hot, but there was something about the way she hopped in that helicopter on Treasure Hunt that really got my motor buzzing, literally

2 - If you could ask Jim'll Fix It to fix it for you, what you you ask for?

Ever since those kids ate ice cream on a rollercoaster I used to dream about doing it, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Not that I've done it.

What I'd ask for now?

For Jim to fix my overdraft and make sure HSBC aren't gonna get the Metropolitan Collection Service on my ass again, the cheeky swines

3 - Why would anyone put pineapple on a pizza? Please explain this to me?

Because cheese and pineapple is the greatest combination of foods ever.

Except for pizza and salad cream.

4 - Desert island - album, book, pizza, guest, luxury item?

The Research - Breaking Up (because it's all I've been listening to for the past month)

Roald Dahl - the Enormous Crocodile

Spicy beef, sweetcorn, peppers and chillis

My mate Nardone, he always gets into amusing scrapes and pickles, especially with girls. I imagine he'd manage it on a desert island even with just the two of us. The clown

A fan and a lifetimes supply of batteries, I'm not good with heat even though I'm an Egyptian

5 - Have you, or do you see yourself ever smoking a pipe?

I have smoked a pipe, and a double ended pipe.

I nearly got my grandad's pipe after he died, but something told me that was a little creepy so I decided to leave it and took his walking stick instead.

You can never fail to look cool while smoking a pipe, it's a throwback to the days when smoking was harmless and beating your wife was a social pastime.

Ahhhh, those were the days.

6 - You've got a quid to spend in the newsagents? What's it going on?

Sweets

Sweet sweet sweets

Maybe a Dime bar

Oooh, I am a man who loves his Dime bars

7 - When did you last vomit?

On the pavement outside Yates in Leamington Spa at 3:50pm last Monday

8 - Would you ever kill an animal to put it out of it's misery? At least a guinea pig-size creature or larger?

Someone I know hit a dog on their driving test and had to get out and finish it off with the jack.

I'd like to think I could put an animal out of its misery, especially that bastard cat which we've accidentally adopted this year at our student house.

It always jumps through my window at the most annoying times, like when I'm trying to have a quick hand shandy

9 - Does becoming old frighten you?

It used to, but then I thought about how I can sit and smoke a pipe in a rocking chair in my front porch and shout at the kids passing by, with a shotgun on my lap, and now I'm looking forward to it

It's good to have land.

10 - Meatloaf's an open-minded sort of chap - he'd do most things for love....just not THAT. What do you suppose THAT was?

First off, it's Meat Loaf, not Meatloaf, I always like to remember it as Mr Loaf, it makes it so much easier.

He gets angry if you call him Meatloaf (it's true, I saw it on an interview)

Secondly, I don't know who you are, where you're from or what you do when I'm not around,

I don't know anything about you baby, but you're everything I'm dreaming of,

I don't know who you are but you're a real dead ringer for love... a real dead ringer for love.

Does that answer your question?

11 - Is it ever acceptable to smack a child?

Yes, I think it should be mandatory.

Kids today need to be tought some respect with the back of my hand.

Just a cheeky clip round the ear will suffice

12 - If you could secretly spend tomorrow with someone of the opposite sex you've never met before (no strings, no-one finds out, no-one gets hurt), who would it be, and why?

The Queen, I could see what she keeps in her tuppaware

I reckon it's probably leftovers, but you can never be too sure with kids nowadays

13 - Someone knocks on your door and says "I'll give you £50 to use your toilet for ten minutes". Do you let them in?

I'd say "Sure, money first. I warn you though, I've had a bit of a runny tummy recently and that toilet's taken the brunt of the force. It's taken a lot of punishment, I don't think it can take much more".

I'm not trying to scare him off, it's actually a genuine warning, I need the £50

14 - If someone offered you a job presenting Saturday Morning Kids TV, who would be your sidekicks?

Dave Benson Phillips, he needs to get back on the air, and Ferne Cotton because we'd need a female and she's experienced at television presenting. No other reasons for her choice at all.

Maybe Frank Bruno because I met him last Saturday and his laugh makes me giggle.

I actually giggled in his face when he laughed, it's probably one of my proudest moments.

Or most embarassing, I'm not sure which yet.

15 - It's my round (virtual round anyway) what are you having, and what do you suppose other FT-ers would like?

I'll have a pint of Purple if you're offering.

As for other FT-ers, The People's Hero will have a G&T (he looks the type) and Fezz Of The Muzz can have a Scotch on the rocks, just because you can sound hard ordering one of those.

It's only us 4 having drinks, everyone else can buy their own.

I'll let you chose your own drink, I'm a gentleman like that.

[Alexikokopops]

The next person to answer can be Phube Fox, my fellow cheese and pineapple fan.

As for questions, well I haven't got time.

I'm moving out tomorrow and really should be packing rather than answering questions on here, so I'm leaving the task to someone else, I'll have time on Sunday though.

It would be Saturday but England are on and I'm getting tanked.

[The People's Hero]

Cheers Alex, enjoyed your answers.

As for Phubey, I suppose pick your questions from those although suggested...

[Fez of Mahrez]

Re: the hair from yesterday. The closest I can find is;

But a bit shorter. And with a less attractive face underneath it.

Muzzy

[Phube]

I think I'll use TPH's questions!!!

1) Imagine, if you will, that were to be a fruit war. Which fruit would triumph and why?

Apples - especially Granny Smiths 'cause their rock hard!!!

2) But which fruit would you like to triumph (and why)? (Extra marks for diagrams).

Pinapples - Not only do they look good, taste fantastic (especially on a stick with cheese) but they form the basis of on of the funniest football chants!!!

3) Liken yourself to a fruit or vegetable. Explain your decision.

Sprouts - Not everyone like them, but those that love 'em wish they could have them all year long!!

4) Imagine you're a Director with little taste but a good reputation able to command the respect of the stars. Your budget is tiny and you've been charged with directing a movie, a sequel in the Carry On series. Tell us the title of the film, an outline of the basic plot and who from FT is cast as which character within the Blockbuster Smash.

Carry On WAGs - It's an hilarious take on the recent phenomenom of the Footballer's Wifes, where all they do is drink, shop and get into amusing situations with each other and celebrities!!

Starring - Davie G - as Sid James (he's old but still got it with the ladies....)

TPH, KM, Fezz, Master Fox - as the saucy WAGS....

Alex[ikokopops], Nationwider - footballer who have no idea what their wives get up to!!

5) The People's Hero is swinging by to your place to be fed, watered and entertained. What do you feed me and provide for me to drink? How do you entertain me? Do you enjoy yourself or do you make a ridiculous excuse to make me leave early? What is that excuse?

Food - My world renowned Lasagne.

Drink - Wine from my collection, or a few cans of Caffreys.

Entertain - There's always my baby photos, failing that my beloved Nintendo!!

Leave early - I have my Enema at 6 the next morning!!

6) Dominic Diamond - Legend or disturbing wan ker?

When I was 10 Legend (not as cool as Patrick Moore though), Now - 2@!!

7) What is your ideal job (and lets not be silly here).

Not too sure, all jobs will get boring in the end - Microsoft No.2 Man (all the money none of the hate of Bill Gates!

8) Invent a new product. Diagrams appreciated. I need full details including a 'name', what it is used for, how much it would retail for and how you would market it.

No diagram, but waht I want is a "Charging Plug" holder, there are now 6 Charger in my House and I can never fin the right one for my phone/DS/headphones!!!

9) You are a salesman working on commission. Find me a shirt/tie combo online and convince me to purchase. GO!

Can't copy and paste at work so I'll do it when I get home!!

10) If you could remove 8 words from the English language (this is to say that anyone who utters these words in future, face torture) what would the eight words be.

Fit - To mean good looking!!

Crimbo - Arrggghh

Socialism - Nuff said

Sick - to mean good??

Mercked - WTF

Innit - that's isn't it - use it in bloody context!!

Shizzle - Why??

Any words used by Tim Westwood (tosser!!!)

11) Ian Marshall turns up at your door stinking of cheap booze asking for a place to kip for the night. Do you allow him to stay? If so, how do you justify it to Gerry, who you turned away last month?

Let him in, he's the reason my missus likes football in the first place!! She just found him funny to watch!!

12) I find the coin currency of this country quite interesting. The notes whoever, leave me cold.. that isn't to say that I don't value them - they are worth money! I just mean they are a bit boring. What are you going to do about it?

Put Ant and Dec on them instead of the Queen!!! Also make them into the snow flake we used to cut out at primary School!!

13) Create a superband, you're the lead singer. What 12 songs do you cover for your debut epic album?

La's - There she goes

S-Club 7 - Reach for the Stars

Beatles - Can't buy me love.

Blur - Song 2

Oasis - Masterplan

Cast - Sandstorm

Longpigs - She Said

Blur - For Tommorow

Britney - One more time (I just wanna wear the school uniform!!)

Rolling Stones - Paint it Black

Tom Jones - Kiss

Snow Patrol - Run

14) Assign yourself a nickname.

I think someone on here said it once but I like - Phubeington

15) Select the next person to face fifteen questions and assign them a new nickname (I'll then pressure them to change their username)

Manwell Pablo!! Again choose your questions from the 3!!

[Manwell Pablo]

for f**ks sake.

I'll pick Nationwiders seeing as no one else has recyleced that set yet.

[Alexikokopops]

for f**ks sake.

I'll pick Nationwiders seeing as no one else has recyleced that set yet.

Yeah they have, I did.

[Manwell Pablo]

1 - Who were your first objects of ardour, real and famous? And did they ever know about your feelings?

hold on I need to go to dictionary.com..... oh right. Dunno don't remember, she prolly didnt wanne know though.

2 - If you could ask Jim'll Fix It to fix it for you, what you you ask for?

I'd ask him and some heavys to "Fix" Danny Tiatto.

3 - Why would anyone put pineapple on a pizza? Please explain this to me?

Because it tastes nice you plank. The same reason people put them togther on sticks. Why do you put spinnich on a pizza now thats a question.

4 - Desert island - album, book, pizza, guest, luxury item?

Timmy Mallets greatest hits (fits the surrondings) - 101 ways to escape a Desert Island - a HAWIAN (extra F**king Pineaplle, hhahaha ) Pizza - Danny Tiatto ( that stops him playing 30+ games donesn't Rob ) - One Hundred Billion Dollars

5 - Have you, or do you see yourself ever smoking a pipe?

Yes I have, and Trust me Pot Noodle is most definately the fuel of Britain.

6 - You've got a quid to spend in the newsagents? What's it going on?

Well the nearest one to me is in Coalville so it would prolly get me a BJ off the shop girl.

7 - When did you last vomit?

Approxmitley 5 seconds have reading this "I know that he wants to give it a real big go this season. We want him to play 30-plus games and we will handle him and manage him accordingly."

8 - Would you ever kill an animal to put it out of it's misery? At least a guinea pig-size creature or larger?

Yes, I'd just kill an animal any way its funny. Espically cats.

9 - Does becoming old frighten you?

When you drink like I do its not a issue.

10 - Meatloaf's an open-minded sort of chap - he'd do most things for love....just not THAT. What do you suppose THAT was?

If you listen to the lyrics he is explaining he will do anything for love but he wont do that, i.e. the last thing he mentioned in the verse. e.g. "But I'll never forget the way you feel right now " No I wont do that. You get me Boss? another of lifes big questions answered

11 - Is it ever acceptable to smack a child?

If he or she is a Forest fan, of course

12 - If you could secretly spend tomorrow with someone of the opposite sex you've never met before (no strings, no-one finds out, no-one gets hurt), who would it be, and why?

Michelle Marsh. Becuse she's fit and looks like a bit of a goer.

13 - Someone knocks on your door and says "I'll give you £50 to use your toilet for ten minutes". Do you let them in?

No I hit them, take their money and throw them off my property. F**kin Gypos.

14 - If someone offered you a job presenting Saturday Morning Kids TV, who would be your sidekicks?

Danny Tiatto ( that stops him playing 30+ games donesn't Rob )

15 - It's my round (virtual round anyway) what are you having, and what do you suppose other FT-ers would like?

Normally a simple pint of Carling, however I can sometimes be swayed to a whiskey or possible red wine. Although seeing as its your round I'll have a bottle of Champers.

Phube Fox - John Smiths ( No Foriegners no Arsen No nonsence )

Tharcian - A Baccardi Brezzer to get the....... No that joke is to low.

Master Fox - Absynth ( would explain alot )

Lisa - Pint of Stella ( that agression has to come from somewhere )

Lemon Harpic - GHB

ERRRMMMMMM Let me see who is viewing the topic before i inflict this one someone else, I'd better check me spelling to!

[Manwell Pablo]

We will ave a bit of Fox4Eva i think. pick any of the 3.

[The People's Hero]

Perhaps we need some new questions too...

[Daggers]

Perhaps we need some new questions too...

...and maybe each one starts a new thread with the name of the person to answer the questions?

[The People's Hero]

...and maybe each one starts a new thread with the name of the person to answer the questions?

That'd be good.

Care to come up with some questions and a nominee Disco Bobferno?

[Nationwider]

8 - Would you ever kill an animal to put it out of it's misery? At least a guinea pig-size creature or larger?

Someone I know hit a dog on their driving test and had to get out and finish it off with the jack.

That's the best driving test anecdote ever!

Terrible business, though.

[Nationwider]

That'd be good.

Care to come up with some questions and a nominee Disco Bobferno?

Has DB been probed yet? I think he'd be good value.