The People's Hero Posted 28 June 2006 Posted 28 June 2006 You've been randomly selected for my new thread. Question Time with The People's Hero 1) Imagine, if you will, that were to be a fruit war. Which fruit would triumph and why? 2) But which fruit would you like to triumph (and why)? (Extra marks for diagrams). 3) Liken yourself to a fruit or vegetable. Explain your decision. 4) Imagine you're a Director with little taste but a good reputation able to command the respect of the stars. Your budget is tiny and you've been charged with directing a movie, a sequel in the Carry On series. Tell us the title of the film, an outline of the basic plot and who from FT is cast as which character within the Blockbuster Smash. 5) The People's Hero is swinging by to your place to be fed, watered and entertained. What do you feed me and provide for me to drink? How do you entertain me? Do you enjoy yourself or do you make a ridiculous excuse to make me leave early? What is that excuse? 6) Dominic Diamond - Legend or disturbing wan ker? 7) What is your ideal job (and lets not be silly here). 8) Invent a new product. Diagrams appreciated. I need full details including a 'name', what it is used for, how much it would retail for and how you would market it. 9) You are a salesman working on commission. Find me a shirt/tie combo online and convince me to purchase. GO! 10) If you could remove 8 words from the English language (this is to say that anyone who utters these words in future, face torture) what would the eight words be. 11) Ian Marshall turns up at your door stinking of cheap booze asking for a place to kip for the night. Do you allow him to stay? If so, how do you justify it to Gerry, who you turned away last month? 12) I find the coin currency of this country quite interesting. The notes whoever, leave me cold.. that isn't to say that I don't value them - they are worth money! I just mean they are a bit boring. What are you going to do about it? 13) Create a superband, you're the lead singer. What 12 songs do you cover for your debut epic album? 14) Assign yourself a nickname. 15) Select the next person to face fifteen questions and assign them a new nickname (I'll then pressure them to change their username)
Ricey Posted 28 June 2006 Posted 28 June 2006 Some quality questions, I sure wish my name was Nationwider.
The People's Hero Posted 28 June 2006 Author Posted 28 June 2006 Maybe I should open it up to everyone. I just don't know!
Ricey Posted 28 June 2006 Posted 28 June 2006 Maybe I should open it up to everyone. I just don't know! I think you should.
Nationwider Posted 28 June 2006 Posted 28 June 2006 Some quality questions, I sure wish my name was Nationwider. Ricey - I've left it to you in my will.
The People's Hero Posted 28 June 2006 Author Posted 28 June 2006 Some quality questions, I sure wish my name was Nationwider. Maybe NW will choose you to answer the next set?
Nationwider Posted 28 June 2006 Posted 28 June 2006 You want the moon on a stick, you do. 1) Imagine, if you will, that were to be a fruit war. Which fruit would triumph and why? Grapes - they would divide and conquer. 2) But which fruit would you like to triumph (and why)? (Extra marks for diagrams). Big, juicy melons. I'll leave the googling to your good selves. 3) Liken yourself to a fruit or vegetable. Explain your decision. Broccoli - you grow to like me eventually. 4) Imagine you're a Director with little taste but a good reputation able to command the respect of the stars. Your budget is tiny and you've been charged with directing a movie, a sequel in the Carry On series. Tell us the title of the film, an outline of the basic plot and who from FT is cast as which character within the Blockbuster Smash. Carry On Tanning Hilarious, tanning-booth based farce, plenty of scope for undressing and double-entendres. The basic plot involves nudity, implied and actual. That's it. Knighton Matt - Danny Bulge (Robin Asquith-esque salon owner, contractually obliged to wear blue y-fronts) Holly - Molly Melon (his interest, saucy) Master Fox - Dick Boost (rival tanning shop owner) Idea or Ikea - Rick Boost (brother of above) Kayteh - Audrey Crumpet (tanning assistant, saucy) Leesoh - Marge Moneypenny (receptionist, saucy) davieG - The Milkman (saucy) TPH - Raymond Chance (millionaire property developer, tries to force out Danny and turn shop into casino/hat emporium) Bertfox - Bertie Fox (windowcleaner, saucy) Disco Bob - Disco Bob (quite saucy) 5) The People's Hero is swinging by to your place to be fed, watered and entertained. What do you feed me and provide for me to drink? How do you entertain me? Do you enjoy yourself or do you make a ridiculous excuse to make me leave early? What is that excuse? Drink - some good beer, either from Chateau Morrisons or my nearly-local, I'd probably do something with mince. Or just mince around. A tour of the delights of Teesside - it's Nuclear Power Station, steel works, oil refinery, zinc plant and asbestos-filled ghost ships. Then I'd juggle. 6) Dominic Diamond - Legend or disturbing wan ker? Gamemaster, my arse. 7) What is your ideal job (and lets not be silly here). Trade - restauranteur or screenplay/sitcom writer. 8) Invent a new product. Diagrams appreciated. I need full details including a 'name', what it is used for, how much it would retail for and how you would market it. I'll get back to you on the diagram - 9) You are a salesman working on commission. Find me a shirt/tie combo online and convince me to purchase. GO! Get this. "Its saying, come in, sit down, you really don't know what's coming next now, do you? Orange tie - you weren't expecting that. I'm on the front foot and you've no idea what mood I'm in. It's my ball, this is my ballpark, let's play some mental Lacrosse.! 10) If you could remove 8 words from the English language (this is to say that anyone who utters these words in future, face torture) what would the eight words be. pustule bijou mastic bimbo wraparound schedule GaryNeville doobry 11) Ian Marshall turns up at your door stinking of cheap booze asking for a place to kip for the night. Do you allow him to stay? If so, how do you justify it to Gerry, who you turned away last month? Erect gypsy fortune-teller tent. Put down plastic bags everywhere. Put padlock on Gerry's wheelie-bin. 12) I find the coin currency of this country quite interesting. The notes whoever, leave me cold.. that isn't to say that I don't value them - they are worth money! I just mean they are a bit boring. What are you going to do about it? Short-term, I'd consider swapping notes for toffees from Quality Street as no-one eats them. Other currency options my Currency Policy Unit will be considering are stuffed birds of prey, and giant charity cheques. 13) Create a superband, you're the lead singer. What 12 songs do you cover for your debut epic album? I don't want to trash my favourites - so I'll go for an eclectic mash-up: Simon Smith And His Amazing Dancing Bear - Alan Price The Floral Dance - Terry Wogan My Iron Lung - Radiohead 99 Red Balloons - Nena Rock Lobster - The B52s If I Could Talk I'd Tell You - The Lemonheads Back In Black - AC/DC McArthur Park - Various You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' - Righteous Brothers Saturday Night - Whigfield Charmless Man - Blur Franly Mr Shankly - The Smiths 14) Assign yourself a nickname. Harris 15) Select the next person to face fifteen questions and assign them a new nickname (I'll then pressure them to change their username) Ricey - Lovejoy (I've no idea why) Here's Ricey's 15 big ones, or anyone else who'd care to have a punt - although Ricey was in there first!: 1 - Who were your first objects of ardour, real and famous? And did they ever know about your feelings? 2 - If you could ask Jim'll Fix It to fix it for you, what you you ask for? 3 - Why would anyone put pineapple on a pizza? Please explain this to me? 4 - Desert island - album, book, pizza, guest, luxury item? 5 - Have you, or do you see yourself ever smoking a pipe? 6 - You've got a quid to spend in the newsagents? What's it going on? 7 - When did you last vomit? 8 - Would you ever kill an animal to put it out of it's misery? At least a guinea pig-size creature or larger? 9 - Does becoming old frighten you? 10 - Meatloaf's an open-minded sort of chap - he'd do most things for love....just not THAT. What do you suppose THAT was? 11 - Is it ever acceptable to smack a child? 12 - If you could secretly spend tomorrow with someone of the opposite sex you've never met before (no strings, no-one finds out, no-one gets hurt), who would it be, and why? 13 - Someone knocks on your door and says "I'll give you £50 to use your toilet for ten minutes". Do you let them in? 14 - If someone offered you a job presenting Saturday Morning Kids TV, who would be your sidekicks? 15 - It's my round (virtual round anyway) what are you having, and what do you suppose other FT-ers would like? That's it.
Daggers Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 pustule bijou bimbo I love those words especially 'pustule', I used it yesterday
macbeth Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 quote nationwider 1) Imagine, if you will, that were to be a fruit war. Which fruit would triumph and why? Grapes - they would divide and conquer. surely its horsechestnuts that divide and conker
Ricey Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 1 - Who were your first objects of ardour, real and famous? And did they ever know about your feelings? Jeez I have no idea, I'll come back to you on that... 2 - If you could ask Jim'll Fix It to fix it for you, what you you ask for? I'd ask him to surgically remove Gordon Ramseys tongue and use it as ingredients for a lovely lemon souflae. 3 - Why would anyone put pineapple on a pizza? Please explain this to me? ...because they are messed up beyond belief, cheese and pineapple just don't go! It's like when people serve cheese and pineapple on sticks, who the hell thought of that? I've never seen anyone eat both the cheese and the pineapple, they always choose one or the other...I'm a cheese man myself. 4 - Desert island - album, book, pizza, guest, luxury item? The Beatles - Rubber Soul, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Pepperomi, my girlfriend (in case she reads this) and toilet paper. In no particular order. 5 - Have you, or do you see yourself ever smoking a pipe? I have smoked a pipe before but not the kind of pipe gentleman smoke, I won't explain. When I'm older I would like to smoke one of those pipes that creates bubbles , I reckon it would keep me amused as my brain and body slowly rots. 6 - You've got a quid to spend in the newsagents? What's it going on? Fruit Gums, I'd then let the newsagent keep the change because I'm a kind fellow like that. 7 - When did you last vomit? When I heard Paris Hiltons new single. 8 - Would you ever kill an animal to put it out of it's misery? At least a guinea pig-size creature or larger? How do I know it's feeling miserable? It might enjoy a bit of pain, I'm not one to judge... 9 - Does becoming old frighten you? Yes, but I reckon once I've reached 40 I'll hate the youth so much I'll saviour my maturity. 10 - Meatloaf's an open-minded sort of chap - he'd do most things for love....just not THAT. What do you suppose THAT was? Good question. I reckon his misses, Maltloaf, suggested a threesome with their good friend Fruit Cake. Meatloaf detests anything remotely linked with Fruit and therefor turned down the offer. 11 - Is it ever acceptable to smack a child? Only if that child is the kid from the Frostie adverts (there gonna' taste greeeeat...) 12 - If you could secretly spend tomorrow with someone of the opposite sex you've never met before (no strings, no-one finds out, no-one gets hurt), who would it be, and why? I've always imagined goths would be good in bed, so I'd like to see if my assumpations are correct. Only with a goth that doesn't wear those god awful gigantic boots though, also no more than 3 piercings and/or tattoos....or would that make them not a goth? 13 - Someone knocks on your door and says "I'll give you £50 to use your toilet for ten minutes". Do you let them in? Depends how they are walking. 14 - If someone offered you a job presenting Saturday Morning Kids TV, who would be your sidekicks? John Barnes, I might look good next to him. 15 - It's my round (virtual round anyway) what are you having, and what do you suppose other FT-ers would like? Mine's a 'sex on the beach', TPH vodka, Fezz brandy and Nationwider bitter.
The People's Hero Posted 29 June 2006 Author Posted 29 June 2006 Is it my turn to ask the questions? Yes... and to choose how has to answer them.
Ricey Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 Or, in fact, who. As he pressured me to answer the last lot, these are for Fez... 1. If you were a pigeon and could sh*it on anyone, who would it be? 2. Brown or red sauce? 3. When was the last time you lied? 4. If a chav came up to you today, what would be the worst insult he could throw at you? 5. Where was your first time? 6. ...and with whom? 7. What's your favourite meal? 8. Would you sacrifice a limb for a million pounds? 9. Describe your current surroundings? 10. If you could perform on stage with any FT member, who would it be? 11. ...and what would you perform? 12. Who was your childhood hero? 13. Adam Ant, yay or nay? 14. Describe your hair? 15. Will you marry me?
Fez of Mahrez Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 As he pressured me to answer the last lot, these are for Fez... 1. If you were a pigeon and could sh*it on anyone, who would it be? David Pleat 2. Brown or red sauce? Brown 3. When was the last time you lied? About two seconds ago, I prefer red. 4. If a chav came up to you today, what would be the worst insult he could throw at you? Probably either that I liked David Pleat, was David Pleat, liked brown sauce or that I am a chav. 5. Where was your first time? Hotel in London 6. ...and with whom? A lady in my acquaintance. 7. What's your favourite meal? Prawn Jambalaya 8. Would you sacrifice a limb for a million pounds? No 9. Describe your current surroundings? A stuffy office with a very nice and amusing Scotsman answering queries from confused old ladies about computers. 10. If you could perform on stage with any FT member, who would it be? Knighton Matthew 11. ...and what would you perform? YMCA 12. Who was your childhood hero? Probably Julian Joachim to be honest! Loved that guy. 13. Adam Ant, yay or nay? Sexually?! Nay. Musically? .... Nay. Although I do always get his songs in my head. I get him confused with Gary Glitter though so often I don't like to admit it in public. 14. Describe your hair? At the moment quite short and brown. I will try and find a photo of a similar celebrity. 15. Will you marry me? God yes, I thought you'd never ask. I quite enjoyed that. Oh frig, now I have to think of 15 questions don't I? OK prepare yourself TPH...
Fez of Mahrez Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 The Hero of the People....... 1. Who in your opinion was the most luscious young lady in Beaumont Hall that balmy summer of 2003? 2. What is Maidstone like on a Friday night? 3. What time is the last bus home? 4. How much would you pay for the guitar Bob Dylan first went electric on? 5. Who's your favourite Leicester player ever, other than Ian Marshall? 6. Who's the best looking famous lady you reckon you could get into bed for sex and that? 7. What's your middle name? 8. If you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be? 9. What is your favourite insult? 10. Who do you prefer, Nationwider or Knighton Matt? 11. Where would you choose to go on holiday for 2 weeks, all expenses taken care of? 12. If you had to support a football team other than Leicester for a season, who would it be? 13. If you had to give up football or women for a year, which would it be? 14. Are there any shirt & tie combos you do not own? 15. What's your favourite Subway sauce? (Combinations accepted)
Alexikokopops Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 Ricey, I was about to bust your chops when I saw you slate the greatest party food known to man (I can eat cheese and pineapple on a stick for England, no joke), but then I saw that you share my hatred of that Frosties kid, so I'm letting you off. However, for the record, cheese and pineapple's a fantastic combination.
Manwell Pablo Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 Question time with the TPH. Judging by the poltical depth of the questions asked so far I think safe to say Jeremy Paxman your reign is over.
Phube Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 ' date='Jun 29 2006, 03:15 PM' post='342866']Ricey, I was about to bust your chops when I saw you slate the greatest party food known to man (I can eat cheese and pineapple on a stick for England, no joke), but then I saw that you share my hatred of that Frosties kid, so I'm letting you off. However, for the record, cheese and pineapple's a fantastic combination. Cheesy pineapple sticks!!! My favourite party food, ever!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daggers Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 I will try and find a photo of a similar celebrity Surely that's you ... now you have achieved the status of questionnaire filler inner Oh, and party food doesn't exist if there's no mushroom vol au vents.
Fez of Mahrez Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 Hmm. Just realised TPH has already asked questions. Maybe he can just pose similar questions to someone else after he's answered mine.
Ricey Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 ' date='Jun 29 2006, 03:15 PM' post='342866']Ricey, I was about to bust your chops when I saw you slate the greatest party food known to man (I can eat cheese and pineapple on a stick for England, no joke), but then I saw that you share my hatred of that Frosties kid, so I'm letting you off. However, for the record, cheese and pineapple's a fantastic combination. Does England have a cheese and pineapple on sticks eating team?
Phube Posted 29 June 2006 Posted 29 June 2006 Does England have a cheese and pineapple on sticks eating team? If it does, then you can count me in!!!
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