surrifox Posted 21 December 2006 Posted 21 December 2006 just got this email not sure where to put it .......here or in the jokes thread In light of recent Ashes perfomances................ you could start a new thread "best cricket jokes of 1994" I quite enjoyed re-reading them at the end of the 2005 series
Brummie-FOX Posted 27 December 2006 Posted 27 December 2006 So, controversial news coming from ABC Radio in Australia. England's embarrassment was increased on day two of the fourth Test after their bowling plans for each Australian batsmen were leaked to the media. The plans are prepared by team analyst Mark Garaway before each match and pinned up in the dressing room. But a copy turned up in the hands of ABC Radio and was read out on air as England tried to break a stand between Matthew Hayden and Andrew Symonds. They put on 279 to help Australia into a 213-run lead at close of play. Ive been listening to SSN most of the evening and they've revealed some of the plans we had made. The plan on Ponting and Hussey had worked. So what would you usually do when your waiting for a wicket to fall in your dressing room (thing) before you come out to bat? Maybe you would tune into ABC radio Symonds then came to bat and got his maiden century. It was proven on SSN that the plans that England had made didn't work for them. Remarkably Symonds performed brilliantly, just like he had known Englands bowling plans This could prove to be vital for the rest of the series. I presume that the plans we had made would be the same for the rest of this test and Sydney. If the Australian squad know the plans, it would easily have an affect on how they perform 5-0 whitewash? Perhaps.
marko Posted 27 December 2006 Posted 27 December 2006 Whilst all this doom and gloom is over the team i'm going to try to be positive. If it had not been for numerous poor decisions we could have gone into the 2nd innings with a lead. Hayden was out at least twice, Symonds rode his luck a fair bit (and should have been LBW to Monty but for that pathetic umpire Mr Rudi from SA) I dare say their batsmen bar to the 2 fortunate ones batted worse than our mugs. We can still avoid a whitewash, BELIEVE PEOPLE
lcfc_jme Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 5-0 does look increasingly likely. Australia were all out for 419 earlier today, Shane Warne finished unbeaten on 40, Mahmood finished with 4-100.. England are currently 9/0 with Strauss on 1 and Cook on 7, still 251 behind
lcfc_jme Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 Don't know why I'm still watching this shit, but the afternoon session is about to start, we're 28/0, Strauss 12 NO and Cook 12 NO... Logic suggests that McGrath and Lee/Clark will begin the bowling in this session, and that it won't be long until Shane Warne comes on. As I said, McGrath and Clark came out bowling, and Clark got Cook, knocked his off stump out. England 41/1
lildave3 Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 Don't know why I'm still watching this shit, but the afternoon session is about to start, we're 28/0, Strauss 12 NO and Cook 12 NO... Logic suggests that McGrath and Lee/Clark will begin the bowling in this session, and that it won't be long until Shane Warne comes on. As I said, McGrath and Clark came out bowling, and Clark got Cook, knocked his off stump out. England 41/1 Aren't we good... <_<
lcfc_jme Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 Aren't we good... <_< Yeah fooking awesome. 55/3 now , Strauss NO 21, Collingwood NO 3.. KP departed for 1.
lildave3 Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 Yeah fooking awesome. 55/3 now , Strauss NO 21, Collingwood NO 3.. KP departed for 1. We must be about all out by now Does anybody think we stand a chance in the world cup?
lcfc_jme Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 We must be about all out by now Does anybody think we stand a chance in the world cup? Not all out, simply 78/4, with Strauss still in not even past 30 yet, and Flintoff out there with him. As for standing a chance in the world cup? We'll be more embarrassed by the cricket world cup than the football one. First round exit for sure.
lildave3 Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 Not all out, simply 78/4, with Strauss still in not even past 30 yet, and Flintoff out there with him. As for standing a chance in the world cup? We'll be more embarrassed by the cricket world cup than the football one. First round exit for sure. So what are England good at? Football? No. Rugby? Not anymore. Cricket? No. Golf? No. Tennis? No. Even the curling captain was a damn scot
lildave3 Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 Ashes Averages Just highlights how bad we really are.
lcfc_jme Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 I make it 90/5 now.. Strauss has just fallen to Bret Lee with a pathetic shot. We're screwed. 4-0.
lcfc_jme Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 Embarrasing. Aye. For those who don't already know, we finished 161 all out, with Chris Read the unbeaten man on 26.. We lost by an innings and 99 runs, and so are 4-0 down. Disgusting.
JoeyB Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 no point watching 5-0 aussies as the comic book guy off the simpsons says: worst series ever
lcfc_jme Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 we'll be back Didn't agree with you an awful lot when you were bluearmy5, and I'll have to disagree with you again now you're Milky Joe When exactly are we going to bounce back? It'll be a miracle if we don't lose this series 5-0 and go to the World Cup next year and make it to the second round. We're dreadful, and other than having Australia 80 odd for 5 in their first innings, we've been shite in this series!! Have to admire your optimism though
dandannieldanok Posted 28 December 2006 Posted 28 December 2006 Flipping hell, what a disgrace. Piss flaps
Matt Posted 29 December 2006 Posted 29 December 2006 Football, Cricket, Rugby - The English - Rubbish at all of them. At least the English have shown something we are good at while out here watching the Cricket - Drinking and Making noise!
Milky Posted 29 December 2006 Posted 29 December 2006 Didn't agree with you an awful lot when you were bluearmy5, and I'll have to disagree with you again now you're Milky Joe When exactly are we going to bounce back? It'll be a miracle if we don't lose this series 5-0 and go to the World Cup next year and make it to the second round. We're dreadful, and other than having Australia 80 odd for 5 in their first innings, we've been shite in this series!! Have to admire your optimism though The Aussie side are pretty much all old fogeys, and england have some promising youngsters. In 2 years time it will be a completely different aussie side and we'll be the favourites.
Daggers Posted 29 December 2006 Posted 29 December 2006 From World Champions to World Chumpions in such a short space of time takes skill.
Milky Posted 29 December 2006 Posted 29 December 2006 Football, Cricket, Rugby - The English - Rubbish at all of them. At least the English have shown something we are good at while out here watching the Cricket - Drinking and Making noise! we're not rubbish at cricket for ****s sake. we've made a huge rise in the rankings in recent years with was capped off by the 2005 ashes victory. Disruption since that victory has put a halt on things but we're still ranked 2 in the world and deserve to be so.
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