FT Rap Battle Semi Final (ish)

[General Smuts]

Stez Vs Smuts

Stez

smuts, what can one say? is he gay? no way. i don't wanna end up on the list, my self esteem would be sorely missed

i'd prefer to take a fist, i'd grab him by the wrist, getting geoff capes to assist we'd make him dissist

going on about nissan, but their cars are driven by someones gran, mentioned again and you're looking at a ban

that's my grand plan, you'll write me letters like stan, i'll lock you in my van, dump you in surrinam

like roger moore, his eupamisms are poor, but before we tour the couture of my lure to make you look more obscure

you'll be using sledge hammer to crack his nuts, oh smuts, you are a cluts, my rhymes come in gluts

another round opens another shuts, i'll knock you out (again) with my cold cuts, and i don't mean meats, it's my beats

that dish out defeats, like a team of pleat's, your points tally will be petite

my lyrics are deep like a lagoon, he'll just mention the 'poon, stinking like a baboon, skin whiter than the moon

in a bright room, you'll end up in a rap tomb, and i assume, (be) exhume(d) to resume some tunes. finners'll fume.

leicester's finest fox? load of bollox, he just talks of cocks, whats up ladies frocks, like their dirt box

and a mucky girl stinking like grimsby docks

you really drink cider? you put that inside ya? well let me be the provider of some info from fresh from a dispatch rider

it tastes of piss, it'd be remiss of you to dismiss this, i insist there's a urine twist.

right, this'll have to do, i'm off to the loo, for a poo, i didn't even mention penis goo, ooh, it's as if i knew

i bet his winkle just grew. this last verse is taboo, it's a point of view so screw you.

Smuts

Im the General, and my raps they are incredible, delectible,

Stez flows like the mikes pressed firmly to his testicles

As for the rest of y'all, my beats so tasty there ingestible,

A lady on each arm i got my hands on juicy chebsticle.

I'm mac daddy in this arena, so don't be hating on Smuts,

All the ladies of the forum be begging for me up in thier guts,

Im rising from the ashes, second chance to fook this up,

This time i return with rymes bout sticky fingers and sluts.

They say imitation's flattery but Stez you gotta stop this,

Go and buy the same shirt as me, save for sewing on some pockets,

Think by jacking my style, it'll get you in with all the hot chicks,

Maybe Nadia's your level, she's got herself some doggy lipstick.

No one wants to hear bout the balls of Mark Wallington,

But tales of sexy man love for Tony Spearing's bum,

It's no longer secret, your out the closet, sorry Stephen,

Chris Powell, right in your kisser, take it on the chin son.

MTWG Vs Nationwider

MTWG

This time my entry's about Nationwider,

So frustrated he found a blow up sex doll and hired 'er,

Couldn't get it up no matter how much he tried ter,

So he threw it in a skip in an effort to hide 'er,

Not got much on him, can't find no one cleaner,

So most of my rhymes will be based upon the weiner,

I've heard that in private he calls it Katrina,

And when feeling "fruity", drizzles it in Ribena,

'Wider's old news, haven't you heard?

I'm squidgy and fresh, he's a crusty old turd,

Not faced real competition, but this round's the third,

And now he's met me, he's stuck in the merde,

I've got him cornered now, I think that for sure,

Got him screaming, squealing like a cheap nasty whore,

Knock out blow, now the fella's on the floor,

Exit stage left 'Wider, you find the door.

Nationwider

I'm dead northern and can't read the time or a calender and love willies in my mouth.

OMNOMONOMOMONOM willies.

[stez]

how've you got two votes already? farce! <_<

[lildave3]

Nationwider has this in the bag in my book.

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

Nationwider will win this.

[Finnegan]

Stez.

[StanSP]

They're all good. But I just doesn't know how Nationwider does it...

[Samilktray]

All average at best.

[stez]

praise indeed from the boy milktray!

[General Smuts]

CLUNGE!

A vote for clunge is always the right vote.

[stez]

CLUNGE!

A vote for clunge is always the right vote.

don't worry, you have a moral victory if nationwider goes through!

[Finnegan]

He'll probably assume 'Wider the loser by default and put himself in the final anyway.

[General Smuts]

He'll probably assume 'Wider the loser by default and put himself in the final anyway.

He already was the loser before the vote. This is for who gets a 2 vote head start in the final (triple threat between the 3 who consistently handed thiers in on time) which is Stez as he got the most votes out of the 3 of us.

Can someone close this now please?

MTWG and Stez. 8 verses (4 about each opponent) in by Friday and we'll do another weekend stint?