DANGEROUS TIGER Posted 13 July 2011 Posted 13 July 2011 What a great day, for me! : I have a right miserable piss head neighbour next door, who is always bitching over nothing, usually when she is two sheets to the wind. I have tried very hard to think of some way to teach her a lesson. Last Monday week, I was speaking to the local gossip, and told her I had just obtained a couple of pet pigs, which I was keeping in my garden shed. Now, I have an alarm clock, that makes the noise of grunting pigs, as it's alarm signal. On Saturday morning, I heard her on the other side of the fence, coughing, as is her habit, while partaking of a fag. I quietly. went to my shed, and sounded the alarm I heard her call her daughter, and say. "It's f---ing true, the bastard has got pigs". This morning, an Environmental Health Officer arrived at my door, stating that a neighbour had complained about the noise of my pigs, and that they were keeping her awake at NIGHT!. Looking blank, and amazed, I took him. to my shed, which is quite small, and full of mowers etc, and hardly any room to swing a cat... He apologised, and stated that he was going to have strong words with the plaintiff, about wasting his time, and making false allegations. Naughty, I know, but I am far from sorry. Anybody else, ever played a trick on someone that deserved it?
marko Posted 13 July 2011 Posted 13 July 2011 Brilliant!!! I think I would have died with laughter when she said "It's f---ing true, the bastard has got pigs"
the_foxes_till_i_die Posted 13 July 2011 Posted 13 July 2011 Awesome!! Might even have to use that later in life if i ever have that problem! I dont even talk to my next door nieghbour though arsehole!
samjohnson Posted 13 July 2011 Posted 13 July 2011 Oh that is brilliant... that beats the "dog crap bag" that I did to a neighbour. Fantastic stuff DT
One Arm Babba Posted 14 July 2011 Posted 14 July 2011 Errr. I used to live with a lad who was the laziest person I've ever known. The night owl sort that would sleep til 3pm and be up all night. One time he told me and the girl we lived with that he was getting in to this Internet dating. After several dates he was on a roll and proclaiming his newfound conquests to one and all. We saw his login details one night on his laptop and the next day registered a stunning non existent girl called naomi to the same site. Then we started the sting. For 2 weeks we were "chatting" with him across the living room. He was crazy about her. "you wanna see this one" "she wants to meet me" "she just wants no strings sex" Of course we had taken some jpeg from a google search and made this girl seem suitably slutty. He loved it. Thr finale was to send him on a 3 hour train journey to Dublin to meet Naomi in a well known spot. It was priceless, but, the best bit was that when he came back the next day, he told us that she was stunning and that they were shagging all night. We never had the heart to own up. Needless to say, they never repeated that night of lust, soon after Naomi ceased contact. Ha ha
marko Posted 14 July 2011 Posted 14 July 2011 Errr. I used to live with a lad who was the laziest person I've ever known. The night owl sort that would sleep til 3pm and be up all night. One time he told me and the girl we lived with that he was getting in to this Internet dating. After several dates he was on a roll and proclaiming his newfound conquests to one and all. We saw his login details one night on his laptop and the next day registered a stunning non existent girl called naomi to the same site. Then we started the sting. For 2 weeks we were "chatting" with him across the living room. He was crazy about her. "you wanna see this one" "she wants to meet me" "she just wants no strings sex" Of course we had taken some jpeg from a google search and made this girl seem suitably slutty. He loved it. Thr finale was to send him on a 3 hour train journey to Dublin to meet Naomi in a well known spot. It was priceless, but, the best bit was that when he came back the next day, he told us that she was stunning and that they were shagging all night. We never had the heart to own up. Needless to say, they never repeated that night of lust, soon after Naomi ceased contact. Ha ha That reminded me of this prank. I can't decide if it's super harsh or funny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v11sQlZ4qsY
General Smuts Posted 14 July 2011 Posted 14 July 2011 That reminded me of this prank. I can't decide if it's super harsh or funny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v11sQlZ4qsY Yeah thats funny up until the point the scousers start talking. What a bunch of *****.
MikeyT Posted 14 July 2011 Posted 14 July 2011 What a great day, for me! : I have a right miserable piss head neighbour next door, who is always bitching over nothing, usually when she is two sheets to the wind. I have tried very hard to think of some way to teach her a lesson. Last Monday week, I was speaking to the local gossip, and told her I had just obtained a couple of pet pigs, which I was keeping in my garden shed. Now, I have an alarm clock, that makes the noise of grunting pigs, as it's alarm signal. On Saturday morning, I heard her on the other side of the fence, coughing, as is her habit, while partaking of a fag. I quietly. went to my shed, and sounded the alarm I heard her call her daughter, and say. "It's f---ing true, the bastard has got pigs". This morning, an Environmental Health Officer arrived at my door, stating that a neighbour had complained about the noise of my pigs, and that they were keeping her awake at NIGHT!. Looking blank, and amazed, I took him. to my shed, which is quite small, and full of mowers etc, and hardly any room to swing a cat... He apologised, and stated that he was going to have strong words with the plaintiff, about wasting his time, and making false allegations. Naughty, I know, but I am far from sorry. Anybody else, ever played a trick on someone that deserved it? Ha, brilliant and fair play to you!
DANGEROUS TIGER Posted 14 July 2011 Author Posted 14 July 2011 Errr. I used to live with a lad who was the laziest person I've ever known. The night owl sort that would sleep til 3pm and be up all night. One time he told me and the girl we lived with that he was getting in to this Internet dating. After several dates he was on a roll and proclaiming his newfound conquests to one and all. We saw his login details one night on his laptop and the next day registered a stunning non existent girl called naomi to the same site. Then we started the sting. For 2 weeks we were "chatting" with him across the living room. He was crazy about her. "you wanna see this one" "she wants to meet me" "she just wants no strings sex" Of course we had taken some jpeg from a google search and made this girl seem suitably slutty. He loved it. Thr finale was to send him on a 3 hour train journey to Dublin to meet Naomi in a well known spot. It was priceless, but, the best bit was that when he came back the next day, he told us that she was stunning and that they were shagging all night. We never had the heart to own up. Needless to say, they never repeated that night of lust, soon after Naomi ceased contact. Ha ha Brilliant!
Guest Bilo Posted 14 July 2011 Posted 14 July 2011 There's a chap who goes into the bookies at which I work who must be one of the tightest people around. Will pick up losing betting slips from the floor looking to see if the slip has any non runners or winners that have been missed, hanging around the roulette machines to see if anyone's left 5p on them etc etc. He's even been known to nick charity money because he wants the change. So today I thought I'd give myself a bloody good laugh for my birthday. I took 5p out of my wallet and superglued it to the pavement outside. Through most of the day people were trying to pick it up, giving it a quick kick or whatever and then moving on. Then our hero turns up with his missus. A quick kick and it obviously didn't budge. So he bent down to pick it up and again it didn't budge. Then he kicked it again, harder this time. All the while I'm out in the shop chatting to a customer, about Maynard funnily enough cos I can't escape the chat even in deepest Lincolnshire, watching the spectacle. Then I see him on his hands and knees, clawing at this 5p piece, trying to get his nails under it, anything that would make him that vital £0.05 richer. That was the point I had to walk away, it was just too funny. My workmates and I are now discussing the possibility of a sweep on this 5p piece. How many a day will try to pick it up and how many days will our mate be trying to get at it. I expect him to be back with a pick axe or road drill later.
SystonFox Posted 14 July 2011 Posted 14 July 2011 That's a good un. Superglue £1 a bit further up the road from it that'll really **** him up
Len Finsbury Posted 14 July 2011 Posted 14 July 2011 There's a chap who goes into the bookies at which I work who must be one of the tightest people around. Will pick up losing betting slips from the floor looking to see if the slip has any non runners or winners that have been missed, hanging around the roulette machines to see if anyone's left 5p on them etc etc. He's even been known to nick charity money because he wants the change. So today I thought I'd give myself a bloody good laugh for my birthday. I took 5p out of my wallet and superglued it to the pavement outside. Through most of the day people were trying to pick it up, giving it a quick kick or whatever and then moving on. Then our hero turns up with his missus. A quick kick and it obviously didn't budge. So he bent down to pick it up and again it didn't budge. Then he kicked it again, harder this time. All the while I'm out in the shop chatting to a customer, about Maynard funnily enough cos I can't escape the chat even in deepest Lincolnshire, watching the spectacle. Then I see him on his hands and knees, clawing at this 5p piece, trying to get his nails under it, anything that would make him that vital £0.05 richer. That was the point I had to walk away, it was just too funny. My workmates and I are now discussing the possibility of a sweep on this 5p piece. How many a day will try to pick it up and how many days will our mate be trying to get at it. I expect him to be back with a pick axe or road drill later. Reminds me of a story about a superglued pound coin outside the DIY shop in Wigston - the one opposite the Tartan Cafe for those that know the area. Although I didn't glue it, I did see what unfolded. I think the guys that did it were sitting in the cafe opposite. I'd been in the shop to get something and as I left I noticed this pound coin on the floor. I gave it a kick and when it didn't budge, decided to leave it - I'm not falling for that! One of the owners of the shop came out behind me and saw it too. After getting down on his hands and knees trying to pick it up, he disappeared inside and came out with a spade. With one scoop he'd not only dislodged the coin put flicked it up, caught it and unashamedly slipped it straight into his pocket. I was in stitches.
Fox92 Posted 15 July 2011 Posted 15 July 2011 Errr. I used to live with a lad who was the laziest person I've ever known. The night owl sort that would sleep til 3pm and be up all night. One time he told me and the girl we lived with that he was getting in to this Internet dating. After several dates he was on a roll and proclaiming his newfound conquests to one and all. We saw his login details one night on his laptop and the next day registered a stunning non existent girl called naomi to the same site. Then we started the sting. For 2 weeks we were "chatting" with him across the living room. He was crazy about her. "you wanna see this one" "she wants to meet me" "she just wants no strings sex" Of course we had taken some jpeg from a google search and made this girl seem suitably slutty. He loved it. Thr finale was to send him on a 3 hour train journey to Dublin to meet Naomi in a well known spot. It was priceless, but, the best bit was that when he came back the next day, he told us that she was stunning and that they were shagging all night. We never had the heart to own up. Needless to say, they never repeated that night of lust, soon after Naomi ceased contact. Ha ha
Charl91 Posted 15 July 2011 Posted 15 July 2011 Yeah thats funny up until the point the scousers start talking. What a bunch of *****. While the scousers were pricks, to be fair, the guy was married and planning to cheat on his wife, so he deserved it anyway.
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