cambridgefox Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 Do I have to? I'm not even confident in myself. I'm coming up to 24 and I'm a ****ing cleaner in a nightclub with no hope of making a life for myself. Surely there's no comeback from that.Lamby,didn't you work in an office the other year?You see you can do it ,and use that as the confidence to say to yourself you can.Think positive,I know at the time you said it wasn't you involved in " cockgate" but a colleague .Would they employ you again?You seemed to enjoy that work and environment ,or any similar role in that field?as you have the experience someone might be looking for.
cambridgefox Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 You don't have to do anything, but you come on here bitching and moaning about how shit your life is and how you can't get a decent job, but turn a blind eye to any decent advice you're given that might involve a little bit of effort from yourself. If you listened and made some positive changes, maybe you'd be more confident, and others would believe in you too.I failed in my quest to fill my Panini sticker book.
Jimothy Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 I failed in my quest to fill my Panini sticker book. You're a disgrace.
Rincewind Posted 12 August 2014 Author Posted 12 August 2014 I failed in my quest to fill my Panini sticker book. Never mind there is always next..... Oh sorry there isn't.
Guest MattP Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 I was trying to boost his confidence. Its like if your five year old son is last in an egg and sponn race. You give them a hug and say well done. Not call them useless and kick them out the house. Well not unless they blame their loss on the egg. Why would you say well done to someone for coming last? Don't get me wrong I don't think I've ever come last in everything (though I would running these days ) but I'd find it patronising and piss taking if I received praise for it.
Guest MattP Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 You're the only one that does! If you want to better yourself you can mate, here's a fact for you though you need to get into your head. If you do genuinely want to, only you can do it. The good news though, the choice is completely yours.
Jimothy Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 If you want to better yourself you can mate, here's a fact for you though you need to get into your head. If you do genuinely want to, only you can do it. The good news though, the choice is completely yours. well said. Probably put it a bit nicer than I did!
Lamby Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 Lamby,didn't you work in an office the other year?You see you can do it ,and use that as the confidence to say to yourself you can.Think positive,I know at the time you said it wasn't you involved in " cockgate" but a colleague .Would they employ you again?You seemed to enjoy that work and environment ,or any similar role in that field?as you have the experience someone might be looking for. I got that one more by luck I think. It was done as a temp job via Office Angels, who I've tried again with but to no avail.
Rincewind Posted 12 August 2014 Author Posted 12 August 2014 Why would you say well done to someone for coming last? Don't get me wrong I don't think I've ever come last in everything (though I would running these days ) but I'd find it patronising and piss taking if I received praise for it. Well obviously it would not work so well on an adult and that was a bad example. There was a young lad I know at a hostel. When he first moved in he had just been kicked out of a flat by his girlfriend no job and low in confidence. At the hostel asked him if he wanted to go along to a running club they ran. He Ummed and arred but went along. Joined in after a couple of visits and within a couple of months he had enrolled on about 3 training courses and was training for the Leicester Marathon which he completed the half last year. He is now training for this years.Everyone from the hostel team completed the marathon and received praise even though they did not win. This lad received praise for doing the courses. If he had not been encouraged to do them he would be in he same position. Of couse it took great effort from him too but he needed that extra push to start it off. You have taken the micky out of it but doing the radio helped me a lot. I could not have seen myself doing that without friends who I would not say pushed but did nothing to discourage me. When I would say something like that wasn't very good they would say no, it was fine it is not easy doing what you did, And I agree with your other post. Sometimes you have to do it yourself. GOFORIT
MC Prussian Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 OK its the Guardian (only paper to print it?) But it seems a fair report. Job Centres do need a revamp. They are depressing places. If you go somewhere like Apex the staff are friendly and helpful and actually try and find the kind of job best suited to you. I don;t think anyone can deny that is a good way to operate a place where one goes to seek help in finding a job. http://www.theguardian.com/public-leaders-network/2014/aug/11/jobcentre-plus-dwp-long-term-work-social-enterprise I think it's a relatively reasonable strategy not to create an oasis of relaxation at a job centre. Those places are meant to instill a feeling of unease, Ken. As for the staff, sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't. Also, it's not just down to the staff to be your friendly chum all the time. It'd also help if jobseekers themselves managed to get a hold of their negativity at times and cheer up.
Rincewind Posted 12 August 2014 Author Posted 12 August 2014 Well the opposite seems to work at other places as I have explained in the examples. Unless you experience it it is hard to understand the stress and humiliation some people have to face. If they hinder they cannot help. Fact, I am not saying they should be like leisure clubs. I am saying they should not be like Gestapo HQ either
Captain... Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 I think it's a relatively reasonable strategy not to create an oasis of relaxation at a job centre. Those places are meant to instill a feeling of unease, Ken. No they aren't they are meant to help you find a job, not make you feel worthless and pathetic.
Rincewind Posted 12 August 2014 Author Posted 12 August 2014 No they aren't they are meant to help you find a job, not make you feel worthless and pathetic. Exactly how are you going to be relaxed at a job interview if you are thinking you could be sanctioned if you do not get the job?
MooseBreath Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 Exactly how are you going to be relaxed at a job interview if you are thinking you could be sanctioned if you do not get the job? Are people being sanctioned because they've not got the job after having attended and tried their best at an interview, then?
Captain... Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 Do I have to? I'm not even confident in myself. I'm coming up to 24 and I'm a ****ing cleaner in a nightclub with no hope of making a life for myself. Surely there's no comeback from that. Boom! Here we have the crux of the problem. If you can't see the ability in yourself then how do you expect others to see it. Getting a job and being good in that job is 90% attitude. The actual range in ability amongst the majority of people is very slim, the difference is attitude and experience. At this moment in time you can't change your experience but you can change your attitude. If you don't want to be a cleaner in a nightclub then apply for another job, there are plenty out there, you just need to look for entry level work and believe that you can do it, trust me on this it is easy if you can use the internet and a smart phone you can pick up most systems used in business they aren't rocket science and the majority predate the iPhone. The problem is self confidence is a difficult thing to mask, so what can you do about it? You can start by actually trying to be good at the job you do compliments are awesome instead of resenting it show them what you can do. Work on your appearance, I don't know what you look like but it is easy to let your appearance slip and it doesn't take much to make sure you're clean shaven or at least your hair styled and you are wearing clean clothes people pick up in that, even if you are cleaning in a night club. Also do more, don't wallow in self pity and waste time in message boards, get out there play sport, go to the gym, learn a musical instrument, do a course, join a club there is an incredible number of things you can do in London and a number of them free. You need to stop the self pity, and a start would be not posting on here any more, get out and do something, you seem the sort that enjoys the attention you get when people take the piss out of you on here yet you also take it to heart, allow to knock your confidence. The best thing you could do is ask the admins to ban you and take the time you waste on here and other internet sites and do something productive.
Rincewind Posted 12 August 2014 Author Posted 12 August 2014 Wise words captain. I had to find things to do in the last couple of years. I joined a media group writing club game club and took some training courses. If I had not done so I would have gone crazy (some may say I was halfway there) There must be similar sort of things in London. There also courses on setting up a cleaning business. I know people who have set them up. They are like security companies when they are hired. Firms change the ones they use all the time so you have to do a better job. Why not offer to go into partnership?
Rincewind Posted 12 August 2014 Author Posted 12 August 2014 Are people being sanctioned because they've not got the job after having attended and tried their best at an interview, then? Well in that list someone was sanctioned for being at an interview instead of the job centre (last minute)Not a good enough reason apparently. Another when he had a heart attack and had to leave the interview. You must admit common sense could have been used for thoses two until those reasons were confirmed one way or another. Its like being found guilty and hung before a trial. Actually not sure if it was clear, I meant that if the job centre was a place where people felt nervous they may feel more nervous at an interview if they thought one of the advisors thought he had not tried (despite not being present) A friendly advisor and a polite good luck does wonders for the confidence more than a get out and if you dont do it right we'll stop your money.' I know which one I would rather have.
Guest MattP Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 Why didn't you start your own business or go into partnership?
ADK Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 I do find it a bid odd Rincewind giving out job advice.
Rincewind Posted 12 August 2014 Author Posted 12 August 2014 I do find it a bid odd Rincewind giving out job advice. Maybe but I've been there. Now I am retired I am in the process of learning all the jargon and rules with some colleagues so we can pass it on. Its a bit complicated and a lot to take in. Ithink I willjust hover in the background taking notes while the others do the advising.
Guest MattP Posted 12 August 2014 Posted 12 August 2014 I fancy retiring, what age do the loopholes start Ken?
Rincewind Posted 12 August 2014 Author Posted 12 August 2014 Why didn't you start your own business or go into partnership? 30 years too late. Because I suggested others can do it does not mean that I can. I was agreeing with an earlier post.
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