Long time reader of this thread and I want to thank many of you that you have helped me personally over the last few years even though you probably didn’t even know it.
I am now unfortunately at that point where talking about problems or getting medication won’t fix much.
There is just depression and sadness everywhere I look. My personal life where when I think it can’t get any worse, another ridiculous problem arises. Having people who pretend they care but actions suggest otherwise. Or even just seeing the way the world is right now with its horrors and its cruelty. At least I always had football as a release from every day life but wait no even that is ruined now for a number of reasons.
I often wonder what I have done to have the issues that I do, another thing that keeps me up at night and torments me during the day. but I guess it’s an answer I will never find out.
Im not sure what the future holds but live in hope that it gets better. My worry is that similar to the past it will get better for a bit then it all comes crashing back down to Earth. I guess the question remains, when will the last bit of hope run out.
Edit: Not quite sure why I decided to post today. In a weird way I somehow believe this post will fix everything in my life as if im testing fate.