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Mike Oxlong

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Mike Oxlong last won the day on 29 June 2017

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  1. There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief. A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Japanese samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half. The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive! “The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces. The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!" Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him to demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Jewish Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around. The emperor, obviously disappointed, said, "Very ambitious, but why is that gnat not dead?" The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."
  2. Conditions not good for those looking to top up their hat tans
  3. Mickleson Woods and McIlroy 20 over !
  4. I guess the spud head realised he wasn’t going to have a career in modelling after hanging up his boots so is trying to make a living from the media
  5. But I don’t want to be fair
  6. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year!
  7. My own experience is that Man Utd fans generally are THE most arrogant and blinkered
  8. Would love to see United get relegated and all the fans coaches from Surrey and Essex rocking up at Luton
  9. Outed I actually have nothing to add of any intellectual or forensic value to the forum But I now try to avoid the joke thread as I post what I think is the funniest gag ever and you then quote when the same joke was posted in 2009
  10. “Fat” is so non pc Surely you mean “lettuce deprived”
  11. Situation Vacant - Circumciser - Salary £15,000 plus tips
  12. For years and years we went without other clubs trying to poach any of our players Shows how far we have come Eggciting times ahead.
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