fazzyfox

No no no, how many syllables are you finding in “ay” it’s like Mariah Blinkin Carey

Talking of Finnish, when the f*** does it?

She claimed for danger money in those flames but I think she’s on the fiddle

We’ve found a suitable woman for Vestergaard!

Well I’ve mulled over it and decided it’s a 7/10

My nan had one of those. Somewhere to hide her heroin when the police raided her house.

Ooh my GCSE French is coming back to me:- “Look at me. Look at you. Do you know the way to the swimming pool please”

The track Howard Jones left off his first album

If you can’t beat ‘em…….join ‘em

high marks for, ahem, “presentation” from this voter

Cabaret lounge stuff, I’m waiting for the unexpected twist….there ain’t gonna be one is there

The cat just hit the ceiling at the flames bit! Do it again please!

Ooh the token mock gothic dark one, cross that off your Euro-bingo card

I can think of a Goodrem Delta, my Bedrem

Pleasant, like a Weyes Blood B-side but too orthodox for this barm-pot-fest really

Mr Claypole off of Rentaghost??

Is this a straight translation of Madonna’s “like a prayer”?

Micah Richards “Can I ask you what your favourite position is so you can come inside”?

Are those air stewardesses real or mannequins . Either way, I still would .

“Hey Jude” playing, Gallagher thinks “Mmmm could use this chord sequence”

Go and get your losers medal Wes. That’s if you can get it over those ears of yours.

It’s the kids I feel sorry for. Try explaining how this is worth being potentially excited over. How many billions do you need to spend (and fudge the books about) to score in a Cup Final Chelsea?

I remember when Kanu came out for a half time warm up (Portsmouth or Arsenal), it was like watching a footballing Harlem Globetrotter. More entertaining than the match!

Since moving away I can make weekends games but not weekdays so I missed all of the Champions League / UEFA Cup / Europa League / Conference tin pot thingymajic trophy etc. I can proudly say though that I saw us play in the (fanfare) Anglo-Italian Cup . Against f***ing Grimsby

I ticked “best possible view” on the ticket site and they’ve put me in midfield for the All Stars XI