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The Fox Covert

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  1. I guess this was a shot before the badger? I hit one once. It's like hitting a breeze block. The car took off. Amazingly the car did not appear to be damaged although you could see the skid mark on the road where it touched down again. In the eight years I had that car it sometimes seemed it led a charmed life. Damaged and repaired after a caravan caught on fire at Glastonbury festival. Graffiti sprayed all down the left hand side. Two rear enders. The second rear-ender was terminal, a Turkish taxi driver ran into the back at the end of the M69.
  2. Bloke in Barnsley is mourning the passing of his wife, married for over 60 years. He goes to the stone mason and dictates the inscription on the headstone. The inscription ends with '...She were thine' A few days later he goes to inspect the mason's handiwork. He says to the mason 'Tha's got it wrong, you missed out the E'. The mason apologies profusely, saying 'I am ever so sorry sir. I will put it right for the day of the funeral'. Day of funeral arrives. After the service the mourners leave the church and gather around the grave. The old man is speechless. The headstone now reads 'Eeee!, she were thin'!!!
  3. Sounds like the former chippy in Guthlaxton Street which never sold any chips. And don't go asking me about Mark Morrison!
  4. Nope. Glastonbury already charges enough. There are now a number of outfits outside the fence which operate independently of the festival which already provide this service. And charge considerably more for the ticket plus tent package. Buying a load of tents and getting a squad of people to put them up then take them down again after the festival doesn't come cheap. I don't know whether the same applies at other large festivals but I would imagine so. I would favour rewarding people who do take their tents and camping gear home. Give the punters a ticket to stick on their tent which is sent with their festival ticket. Attach it to the tent. When you leave stewards scan the ticket and the electronic wristband issued at the gate in exchange for the ticket. If the numbers on the ticket and wristband correspond the stewards press another button on their reader is which confirms the ticket holder has been a good boy / girl and they get higher priority in the scrum for tickets the following year. This might also reduce theft of tents, which is also a significant problem.
  5. I once worked in Crawley, in the 1990s during the heyday of the Cure. Some fella at work started a band and asked me once if he sounded anything like Robert Smith. Unfortunately, yes, he did. I got a free album from them once. Vinyl! I found it when I escaped to the West Country and unpacked everything. It was promptly despatched to the bin bag for the charity shop. About a year later I idly riffled through their records hoping to find a gem amongst all the dross other people had thrown out. It was still there!!! Musically, it was an underwhelming Glastonbury. Most of my enjoyment was away from the stages. Zac Goldsmith, the maverick Tory MP who sees himself as the great environmentalist, talked out in the Speakers Forum by someone from Extinction Rebellion. When this is done at Westminster this is perfectly respectable and the parliamentarians call it filibustering. Overnighting at the Stone Circle. I have absolutely no need to do this as I live only 3 miles away but sleeping in my own bed every night of the festival does not excite. Cramming 12 in one of the pods suspended above a pond in the Green Fields. Those things are about the size of a Vauxhall Corsa inside and I think I was no. 6 to squeeze in. The numbers gradually swelled until there was 12 inside and we were definitely hanging a bit lower above the water. A young lad wanted to come in and those inside just could not hutch up any more. So he clambered up to the entrance and just surfed in on top of the rest of us. And I am convinced I saw Janet Street-Porter in the field by the Acoustic tent. I didn't talk to her or wait for her to open her mouth, and didn't see the point as I don't even like her much. Anyone else see someone famous at the festival? Anyone else go nearly two days before sensing the sweet waft of wacky baccy?
  6. Glad this hasn't turned into a thread about fence jumping!!! I work at an MoD base and I reckon Glastonbury is now harder to get into than most military establishments. If you can't get a ticket do as pSinatra and find some work on the site. I have no idea how many people work for their ticket but it must be tens of thousands. My outfit is this one: http://www.oasiscarnival.co.uk/ Never mind the wayward spelling of the Fat Controller who I expect will be the first person to contact you if you volunteer your services. I don't understand most of the stuff he writes but as long as you turn up for your shifts and don't fall asleep during the middle of the night shift you'll be fine.
  7. I have a peculiar message for all you fellow sufferers. Move to the country!!! It might sound absolutely raving bonkers but constant low level exposure to pollen helps to acclimatize your body against it. When back in the West Country at the weekends I am absolutely fine. Working in the Thames Valley during the week, especially during warm muggy weather like this week it gets worse day by day until by lunchtime Thursday I am (literally) itching to head back down the A303. Yet this weekend I will have no problem lying down on the grass at Glastonbury (if the punters have left any after all 208,000 of them have completely trashed it.
  8. Four days until the gates open and still no Glastonbury thread? Last night I did my first shift as one of the goons on the outside of the wall. I do get a ticket and will have two of the main three days off. I don't have to camp because I live near enough to walk back to my home. At one time I got a free ticket on the strength of the village connection. Not any longer, but I don't regret it one bit. One year I was just inside one of the pedestrian gates at 8am on Wednesday when the gates open. The clamour outside was deafening and I was almost bowled over by the mad stampede once the gates were opened. Does anyone else on here work at the festival? Oh, and it's Glastonbury or the Pilton Pop Festival. Nobody round here calls it Glasto.
  9. Last time I was in Leicestershire I had to put my mum's bird feeder back together. A little wooden house with a miniature verandah and a hammered copper roof to keep the rain out. The crows unhooked it, dropped it on the ground, tipped it on its side and ate the food. Then, not satisfied they had done quite enough they broke it up by pecking at it until they had reduced it to a collection of small pieces. Like delinquent teenage vandals. My mum says she went outside several times to shoo them away but they only retreated as far as the fence. As soon as she had gone back inside they returned to resume their destruction.
  10. 'Labour MP claims 20p a mile for CYCLING around his constituency in latest expenses row' Reports Claire Ellcott in the Daily Mail on 12 May. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/politics/labour-mp-claims-20p-a-mile-for-cycling-around-his-constituency-in-latest-expenses-row/ar-AABgBeZ Also in the Sun https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9055283/mp-expenses-20p-mile-cycling/ Now what could possibly be wrong with this? MPs are supposed to visit their constituencies regularly. If Mr Western had done these journeys in his car he would have been able to claim 45p. Perhaps if a few more MPs did this then something might be done about the appalling potholed state of our roads and arrogant twats in powerful cars who have absolutely no respect for other road users.
  11. Well remember the racist chanting and banana throwing in the 1980s. Brainless Neanderthals the lot of them. Then about 1990 it suddenly disappeared. I wouldn't worry about City being fourth highest for arrests. Probably all it means is that racist activists, who often have nothing to do with the city, deliberately target Leicester because of the size of the ethnic population. What they want is to set one person against another, in an effort to create aggravation and strife. And they will then say this country needs a strong leader, their leader, who has an answer to the problem they have done their utmost to create. What concerns me is that racism seems to be on the increase generally. In a few weeks we are quite likely to have a Prime Minister who has called black people piccaninnies, made offensive comments about letterboxes, recited a poem by Rudyard Kipling in a Buddhist temple, and written a poem about the Scots being vermin.
  12. Sadly, Corbyn is the worst leader of the Labour Party since George Lansbury in the 1930s, Nope. Michael Foot was highly intelligent, articulate, inspiring and had a burning desire to root out injustice. He was unfortunate enough to be leader of the Labour Party in the early 1980s when these things were distinctly out of fashion. I would credit him with holding the Labour Party together at a time when it could easily have fractured into competing factions, never to reach power again. I mentioned Lansbury because like Corbyn he was the archetypal backbencher and on-the-streets demonstrator, unexpectedly projected into a role he probably never even dreamed he would get in a million years. And like Corbyn he was completely ineffective against a reactionary National (Conservative) government, led by Neville Chamberlain, whose penny-pinching policies plunged millions into abject and miserable grinding poverty. And whose neglect of the armed forces almost led this country to disaster and national humiliation in 1940.
  13. I had a car written off there once. Stopped at the roundabout, expecting to continue towards Leicester. Then some Turkish wankerer of a taxi driver piled into the back of me. Towbars are great for protecting the back end of your car, but the French people-carrier the taxi-driver was in was about twice the size of my motor, and actually propelled mine, handbrake on, half way into the outer roundabout lane. Small consolation that his Citroen was much more badly damaged than my car, and not driveable. I think from the layout of the end of the M69 the builders expected to be able to dive under the M1 and continue as a motorway across to what is now Fosse Park and possibly continue onto the original ring road up to the A47. Downhill and downright dangerous.
  14. Sadly, Corbyn is the worst leader of the Labour Party since George Lansbury in the 1930s, but nothing would ever induce me to offer any support to the Tories. Someone on another thread started comparing football managers with politicians. Corbyn would be worse than Holloway, Allen, Taylor or McLintock. Perhaps Nigel, who needs a job, could be persuaded to be a Labour politician. A lengthy rebuilding job required, similar to picking up City from the depths of League 1. No chance of any stupid statements in front of the press and media, because he hates them.
  15. I would say there is a gap between the window frame and the masonry. With a traditional wooden window which breathes this doesn't matter as long as no water is allowed to penetrate into the structure of the wall from outside. Mine, fitted about 20 years ago by a carpenter who is family, don't even have any screws or nails to secure the window to the aperture in the wall. The window is secured by wooden wedges knocked into the gap. With a modern plastic and aluminium window, which doesn't breathe, the tradesman should have completely filled any gaps around the window with expanding foam. But none of this would have happened at all if water wasn't getting into the wall from somewhere outside. I would insist that the house builder check out all this and also replace the plasterboard inside and replaster, as the plasterboard will probably have swelled at the edge where it has got damp and you will never be able to make good the join again. Greb is being sarcastic and I think he knows he is. I have used Zinsser paint to block out minor damp stains and marks on the wall made by nail varnish or crayon. It is miles better than the spray on stuff but not a magic bullet which will block out serious damp. Small damp stains you can even block out with Windsor and Newton acrylic art paint, which has much better covering power than normal house paint, and is about 10 times the price once you take the difference in the size of the container into account! Can't comment on the NHBC guarantee as I have never lived in a new house but I hope the builder gets it sorted for you.
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