Daggers

I’m not saying sexual favours…but sexual favours.

Most of the last year was short on laughs due to Covid and Liz Truss’ budget.

Best ignoring the thing staring you in the face Best post season review Best preseason tour Best start to a season Best discussion of the new style of play Best censored meme Best defence of KPFC Best thing about 2023

Yeh, if you’re waiting for your court case or have just managed to escape without a custodial sentence.

This is also true

Because nothing says “let’s keep this all hush hush” than doing it in a local hotel with a crowd of other high profile players. Some Geordie kid is very bored and has a highly active imagination.

Still doesn’t stop him being a cvnt with a cvnt face.

Forgot about the Watford guy.

I’m not buying Ipswich going up. They’ve struggled over Xmas and the season to date was fundamentally running on promotion self belief. This is petering out, especially once hammered by Leeds and only grabbing a point from us due to a lucky deflection. With players being recalled, banned and injured, they need to spend big in the hope it pays off in promotion - a massive gamble given their lack of resources atm. I have Southampton firmly in second place, with Leeds and Ipswich having to settle for the playoff crap shoot.

Had a metal splinter in my eye once. Had to go have a big magnet pull it out.

I can tell you as a fact that many of them were staunch Brendo fans almost to the very end.

I went to see County play in the fourth division when they had terraces. Dads bought their lads; the three kids played with cars on the ground all match and the Dads used Trivial Pursuit cards to fashion some kind of game that involved drinking from hip flasks. I found the overwhelming sense of ambivalence towards the match exceptionally endearing.

Yes, it was always a dirty needle. My wife got them too in the early 90s and I’d use dirty needle therapy on her too. I really don’t understand how it all stopped. It’s like the millenium banished splinters and there’s a conspiracy not to discuss it.

I think I have them all on block apart from the Bear and the Notts County one. I find going on other club forums a bit odd and that wave of Leeds fans was beyond tedious.

Congratulations. The only group at the club I respect - and I’d be happy to stand near were it not for the fact that the overpriced tickets never go on general sale and I am still carrying out my utterly pointless boycott of all things KPFC.

Not as old as you, but we had carpets so how was I always getting splinters in my feet? I was still getting splinters into the 80s. I can remember this being one reason I got hooked on Swiss Army knives because the tweezers were so handy. I spent sixish years pretty much permanently barefoot in South America across the 90s & 00s, on wooden floors, not one single splinter.

Most loathed: Maddison. His total vocal support of Brenda and slagging off any criticism stank the whole place out. His little bunch couldn’t wait to get their little mitts on a new payday contract. The Wish Grealish will never redeem himself in my eyes. Most hopeless: Zak Rodgers. How is this man still in a job? Not just football management but any job? Name it, I bet you he’d bring a whole new level of fvckery to it. Car parking, burger flipping, office cleaning, offputting toilet attendant man - he would be disaster out at them all…and yet he’d still have two thirds of our fanbase arguing he was doing a spectacular job despite clear evidence that the toilet is on fire and the stalls are piled high with corpses. Best club communication: unawarded Aside from the pathetic “sorry not sorry because nasty people are getting at me”, which wasn’t so much a piece of club communication as a misplaced teen angst private diary entry, there’s been nothing. No contrition. No proper apologies. No action plan. No identification of errors and weak personnel. Nothing. KPFC über alles continues to take the piss out of all of you and you lap it up. Best recovery: Vestergaard Alcoholics Anonymous have never witnessed a personal salvation journey like this. From universally reviled by fans and club, cast out from the squad, to becoming the player of the season and the cornerstone of the new style of play. I’ve never seen the like - or the fact that some cockwands on here still want him gone. Signing of 2023: Enzo and his bald bastard backroom army As well as being one of the most inept and self interested board of directors in football, KPFC are one of the luckiest. Appointing Maresca with his brief history of management failure was just bizarre from a group of people who urgently needed to correct their last few years of serial failure. Especially when you consider this man was selling the idea of an ongoing project over instant success. But way to luck out. The STFU you FT idiots award: KDH Whether it being constantly attacked for his foot preference, the fact that he was only good enough to be a defensive midfielder or that he wasn’t good enough to be playing at this level - Deewbs has proven them all wrong time and again with his engine, passing, assists and goals. The Bed Wetters Award: First half matchday thread contributions Honestly well done. Despite it happening every single week, some of you go all out to make yourselves look equally stupid in the very next one. And the next. And the next. You complain about the style of play, the lack of attacking options, how tippy-tappy play makes us vulnerable, how our best players aren’t good enough - and then they score. And then we win. And you go quiet until you do it all over again during the following game.

When I was young I was forever having to have splinters extracted from my fingers, feet and knees. Why don’t splinters exist anymore and why did I used to get them? It’s not like the world was made of wood and now it’s made of PVC.

We lived in a weird house as a kid where stuff was always breaking or moving about a bit. Then I got kidnapped in my toy cupboard and my mum had to rescue me with a rope through the living room ceiling. Mad stuff. Then, when I was proper grown up, a gypsy put a curse on me and I was literally dragged to hell. It has left me with a lifelong problem of telling fact from fiction.

You can say porn, we won’t judge you.

You should’ve been clever enough to utilise compound interest and buy Apple shares. You don’t deserve to be a rich racist like Elon Musk.

Having had half our fence blown down and now have the odd sense everyone can look into our garden, ima taking the garden gate.