Poetry

[Buce]

 

A thought came to me while out hiking

And became very much to my liking

It would be proper drama

To wind up the llama

Who thinks that a Finn is a Viking

 

[murphy]

19 hours ago, Buce said:

 

A thought came to me while out hiking

And became very much to my liking

It would be proper drama

To wind up the llama

Who thinks that a Finn is a Viking

 

 

I thought as I sipped on my horlicks

That Finns are not Vikings, they're Nordics

A collective name

Includes Iceland and Danes

But stops just North East of Shoreditch

 

 

 

 

I bet that @FIF had such high hopes for this thread aswell....

[Buce]

8 minutes ago, murphy said:

 

I thought as I sipped on my horlicks

That Finns are not Vikings, they're Nordics

A collective name

Includes Iceland and Danes

But stops just North East of Shoreditch

 

 

 

 

I bet that @FIF had such high hopes for this thread aswell....

 

I was going to say, "in before the smut", but then realised @Costock_Fox had already posted...

[Countryfox]

1 minute ago, Buce said:

 

I was going to say, "in before the smut", but then realised @Costock_Fox had already posted...

 

I thought mine was a bit smutty ...   but at the same time topical and witty ...    sadly went down like a fookin lead balloon ...    

[Countryfox]

 

BBC 1 has women’s football on ..

Its all rush and dash ..

A right load of gash ..

Thats it ..  I’m gone !

 

[Buce]

3 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

 

I thought mine was a bit smutty ...   but at the same time topical and witty ...    sadly went down like a fookin lead balloon ...    

 

Sorry, mate, I missed that, but since when was a peck on the cheek smutty? And it doesn't even rhyme. Now if you'd said, 'fvck'...

[Countryfox]

 

Mrs CF says the half time pundit lady has a lovely coat on ....   I rest my fookin case !!

[Countryfox]

 

Mind you, she does look pretty hot in it ...    

[murphy]

Far be it from me to mock her

But the lady is having a shocker

She puffs and she blows 

but everyone knows

you need balls if you want to play soccer    

 

 

 

 

It is a nice coat though.

 

 

[VLC86]

2 hours ago, Buce said:

 

I was going to say, "in before the smut", but then realised @Costock_Fox had already posted...

I’d hate to disappoint.

[davieG]

From MrsG

 

The Ironmonger, The Fishmonger and The Scandalmonger (JAW)

When I was younger

I worked for a monger

of hardware and timber and glass

Bright copper kettles

and various metals

tin trays and knockers of brass

I'd weigh out the nails

on old fashioned scales

by the saucepans that hung on the wall

There were nuts, bolts and screws,

so many to choose

their names, I can hardly recall

When I was younger

I worked for a monger

of haddock and herring and trout

Every brill, hake and dab

lay cold on a slab

when they'd had all their bones taken out

My hands had the smell

of a bloater from Hell

It clung to my clothes and my hair

Every breath I inhaled

left me gutted and scaled

Every eye had a glazed, fishy stare

When I was younger

I worked for a monger

of rumour and scandal and war

I waved my Press card

my comment was hard

I lived with my foot in the door

A 'celeb' was fair game

for exposure and shame

be they Liberal or Labour or Tory

So it was in my youth

I would not let the truth

detract from a nice juicy story

 

[Gordon the Great]

There is some good fun on here which made me laugh but if anyone likes the poets of the first world war please read some of them by the Reverend G.A. Studdert Kennedy otherwise known as "Woodbine Willie"............his dialect poems are just fantastic in my opinion....give it a try, you won`t be disappointed I`m sure. 

[davieG]

Another written some time ago by Mrs G

 

Wrote this story/poem about two animals comparing their life experience... it's really nice but it draws parallels with the diversity of humans. There's no title...

 

 

Said the Donkey to the Zebra when they met along the way "You're a rare, unusual creature to be sure ; you're not black and you're not white, like a horse, but then, not quite, why, I've never seen such elegance before"

 

"Why thank you" said the Zebra "it's most kind of you to say, I am rare and I'm distinctive this is true. But the problem is, you see, I don't know the real me. I wish I was more workaday, like you"

Said the Donkey to the Zebra as they chatted in the Sun "I am ugly, brown and boring, such a drag. People shackle me in chains, say I'm stupid, call me names, load me down with every pot and sack and bag"

 

"But Donkey, you are needed, there's a point to who you are, you are loyal, a strong example of your race. You have kind and honest eyes, it should come as no surprise that, given half a chance, I'd take your place. For I am just a freak and even as we speak I

feel the World is staring at my skin, I'm exactly like my Brother, my Sister and my Mother... we wear our stripes like badges for our sin"

 

"I wish I was a Donkey, not a Zebra, I want to be more normal don't you know. I'd eat carrots as a snack, carry children on my back, I'd be in demand wherever I would go"

 

The Donkey didn't understand the Zebra's point of view, he pricked his ears and shook his heavy head. "Don't you realise how much I'd rather be like you instead" and he said "I wish I was a Zebra, not a Donkey, I want to have more poise, and style, and grace ; don't mean to sound unkind, but you really must be blind if you can't see the beauty in your face"

 

The Zebra and the Donkey talked for hours of their plight, and soon they felt a bond and lay together. Then later in the year, a baby did appear, a perfect union of their joint endeavor.