It happened on the way to (or from) the ground

[DJW1]

14 minutes ago, TrentFox said:

I lived in Reading for 15 years in 80s and 90s. Loved it. Where were you? 

Perhaps we met! I was there for 3 years, at the University, between 84 and 88. I went back about 7 years ago for a visit. I thought the new area next to the Kennet, with the places to eat and drink, was nice (and the new railway station extension!)

[Stopharage]

This is kind of related. Imaginary Leicester fans on the way back from a chastening midweek loss broke my window and destroyed the upstairs carpet. 
 

At uni, I lived on Bruce Street, so not far from Filbert St. Decided to stay over at Easter rather than go back home. My housemate and gf both decided to stay. We were all skint. However, I had a bit of money in my account but had lost my cash card, so had ordered another one. Only problem was, another student (who we called Data) had the front room of the house, which the letterbox went into. He’d decided to lock his room when he went home, meaning we had no way to retrieve my new cash card. 
 

Desperate for some much needed funds, we did the only thing that we could think of and smashed one of the front windows to get into his room and gain access to the letterbox. Obviously,  the cash card hadn’t arrived. Ever quick-witted, I then had to notify the landlord and informed her that Leicester fans had smashed one of our windows after a midweek loss. She somehow bought this excuse but then said that we should try and board up the window until she could get it fixed, which would be after the long Easter weekend. She said that there were probably some boards up in the loft. 
 

There was no light in the loft and we had no torch; mindful of falling through the ceiling we created an ingenious light source. We got an old jumper, doused it in some cheap and nasty aftershave and lit it. The only way we could light it was by putting some paper in the toaster. 
 

Anyway, I then proceeded to enter the loft, on top of my mates shoulders, brandishing a fiery jumper, which was dripping flames all over the carpet. Being a student flat, the carpet was highly flammable, so we then had to rip it out and stick it in the bath whilst trying to avoid first degree burns. 

 

Angry, imaginary Leicester fans have a lot to answer for. 

[fazzyfox]

Didn’t witness it myself directly….anyone here on the coach in Rome?

 

 

[TrentFox]

38 minutes ago, DJW1 said:

Perhaps we met! I was there for 3 years, at the University, between 84 and 88. I went back about 7 years ago for a visit. I thought the new area next to the Kennet, with the places to eat and drink, was nice (and the new railway station extension!)

Spooky! I was at the Uni 83-87. Stayed in the area until 99. Fisherman’s Cottage. Jolly Angler. The Eastgate. I could go on for pages!!  

[fazzyfox]

A sight I’ll never forget (but wish I could) :- It was a night game home to Birmingham, late 80’s / early 90’s, walking home past infirmary when we heard a boisterous rendition of  “S**t on the Villa” approaching in a really strange aerodynamic way.
 

We look round and there was one of the old yellow corporation buses, unseen for years, its windows all smashed out (or in?) with what looked like about 350-400 Brummies like sardines shoehorned into it, presumably a way of getting them to the station without. “Mixing” with the locals.
 

The double decker was zig-zagging and swaying from side to side, defying the laws of physics as they pogoed, danced and tried to get out of the windows to make our acquaintance it looked like tipping over completely as bottles, seats, bits of ceiling, coins and spit flew out from all angles whilst dozens of Mooneys  were performed, brave considering the smashed windows!
The driver appeared to be completely s****ing himself judging by his Ayrton Senna impression, trying to complete the journey before his head ended up up a brummie backside. Then seconds later it was gone swaying over the horizon, the song echoing off every road sign and lamp post,  parents covering children’s eyes and everyone doing a double take - “Did you just see that”. A bus full of backsides singing, like a surreal muppet show routine !

[Le Renard Blue]

The teenage me decided to go to Oxford United away on an Easter Monday. Thankfully, to aid my travel plans, I had a map of England about the size of a postcard. Careful study showed me that Oxford was about half an inch from Bedford, therefore I told my younger brother, who was foolish enough to believe me, that we could catch a train to Bedford, then hop on a bus to Oxford. Part A of this plan worked a treat, it was only when we arrived at a deserted Bedford station, with not a bus to anywhere in sight, that part B of my plan seemed to have been seriously ill planned. Time to come up with a previously un thought of part C. This entailed walking to the nearest service station to find a kind lorry driver to give us a lift back to Leicester. Looking back, it now seems amazing that this did actually happen. We won.

[Guest worth_the_wait]

1 hour ago, Le Renard Blue said:

The teenage me decided to go to Oxford United away on an Easter Monday. Thankfully, to aid my travel plans, I had a map of England about the size of a postcard. Careful study showed me that Oxford was about half an inch from Bedford, therefore I told my younger brother, who was foolish enough to believe me, that we could catch a train to Bedford, then hop on a bus to Oxford. Part A of this plan worked a treat, it was only when we arrived at a deserted Bedford station, with not a bus to anywhere in sight, that part B of my plan seemed to have been seriously ill planned. Time to come up with a previously un thought of part C. This entailed walking to the nearest service station to find a kind lorry driver to give us a lift back to Leicester. Looking back, it now seems amazing that this did actually happen. We won.

Give it a few years, and you'll be able to get directly from Bedford to Oxford by train ...

[Bourbon Fox]

When I was about 6 or 7 my grandpa used to take me to games. He had season tickets in the double decker, top deck, right above the goal.

 

It was always a fairly strange experience because to me was impossibly old, and he had a strange tic where he'd be driving along constantly jabbing his finger forward as if he was pointing at the windscreen, and he'd make this sort of tutting sound as he did it

 

Tu- *jab* tu- *jab* all the way up the A6.

 

He was a fairly quiet, well-spoken man most of the time until one day when we were crossing Eastern Boulevard and he led me straight behind a car that was reverse parking.

 

Coming from her blind spot, the woman didn't see us and reversed back about a foot before she noticed us between the cars and stopped.

 

Grandpa went absolutely apeshit at the poor woman and ended up shouting at her, jabbing his finger through the window 

 

'You don't reverse onto people! YOU BITCH! YOU BITCH!' in his posh, officer voice.

 

Really stayed with me that did. 

 

Oh and one time I wasn't going to the football but I was racing a rowing boat on the river on a matchday and someone lobbed a big stone off Gimston Bridge and smashed up one of our opponents.

 

 

[Le Renard Blue]

22 hours ago, DJW1 said:

Was that the driver's first and last driving job?

 

22 hours ago, DJW1 said:

Was that the driver's first and last driving job?

Possibly, everyone got a refund.

[Alf Bentley]

The day Leicester police tried to force me to become a Derby fan.....

 

About 20 years ago, I'd arranged to meet a Derby-supporting mate to attend a Leicester v Derby match at KP. I'd got him a ticket to attend incognito with me among the LCFC fans.

 

I met him off the train and we retired to The Hind for a pint or five before the match. The Hind was full of Derby fans, but no problem as neither of us were wearing colours.

Suitably refreshed, we exited the premises to walk to the ground....only to find that the Plod were gathering and escorting all the Derby fans to the ground under guard.

A particularly meat-headed plod ordered us to join all the Derby fans to be frog-marched to the away end. I explained that we were home fans, but he just yelled at me to join the away fans.

We tried to sneak through the barriers to join the home fans, but just got yelled at again.

 

So we were frog-marched all the way to the KP with the other sheep/Sheep by mounted police who had no power of reason, looking in vain for a gap in their ranks or their barriers.

Once we arrived at the ground, suddenly all the home and away fans were allowed to mingle civilly outside the turnstiles, so were easily able to get into the home end.

WTF was the point of that?!?! 

 

As I recall, the game was an absolute pile of shite (0-0 or 1-1 draw?), so with hindsight (and Hind sight) it might have been better if they'd frogmarched us all the way up to Welford Road cemetery instead! 

[Le Renard Blue]

Another teenage excursion, this time to Maine Road for an FA Cup game, and this time I did get there. The problem started after the match, running through the streets of Moss Side, trying to evade the chasing Man City fans. Finally made it to where the bus was, note the use of the word “was”. 
More roaming the streets until I spotted a police station in the gathering gloom. So, in I went and told them my story, mostly centred on me being short of cash, or to be more accurate, not having any. A kind sergeant not only gave me my train fare, but gave me lift to Manchester Piccadilly in the police van.

My brother had managed to make it to the bus when we got separated, but consoled himself by eating my “going home sandwich “ that I’d left on the bus.

[Ian Nacho]

Cov away a few years back. First game of the season.  One of the first in and they'd already ran out of pies. 

[Foxmeister]

Sunderland away 1995. We stopped on the hard shoulder of the A1 next to a field that had cylindrical hay bails. Proceeded to have races pushing them from one side to the other, then left them all in the middle of the field next to each other. Should have got the farmer scratching his head.

[Aleksz]

18 hours ago, fazzyfox said:

Didn’t witness it myself directly….anyone here on the coach in Rome?

 

 

This has me in stitches every single time it pops up. Its perfection. 

[DJW1]

2 hours ago, Le Renard Blue said:

Another teenage excursion, this time to Maine Road for an FA Cup game, and this time I did get there. The problem started after the match, running through the streets of Moss Side, trying to evade the chasing Man City fans. Finally made it to where the bus was, note the use of the word “was”. 
More roaming the streets until I spotted a police station in the gathering gloom. So, in I went and told them my story, mostly centred on me being short of cash, or to be more accurate, not having any. A kind sergeant not only gave me my train fare, but gave me lift to Manchester Piccadilly in the police van.

My brother had managed to make it to the bus when we got separated, but consoled himself by eating my “going home sandwich “ that I’d left on the bus.

Your story and that of Alf Bentley are definately good cop bad cop 

[DJW1]

35 minutes ago, Ian Nacho said:

Cov away a few years back. First game of the season.  One of the first in and they'd already ran out of pies. 

Who ate all the pies?🥧