Daggers Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 I couldn't help but notice that you know next to nothing about films and it would seem that you may be unaware how to enjoy them. Introducing: Daggers' Guide To Watching Films 1. The Cinema For a nominal sum you can gain admission to see one of the major blockbusters of the day. Not only that, but you get to sit near a group of children who are proving how they got their ASBO's by talking loudly, phoning their mates and lobbing popcorn/Coke at each other. Also, if you are finding it difficult to follow the plot, some helpful soul three rows back will be stating the bleeding obvious throughout the entire film. Oop North, some people still believe that being caught in the beam (from projector to screen) can result in the loss of your soul. The proof of this is the astronomic charges for sweets, fizzy pop and other comestibles made by the cinema owner (who has obviously been caught in the beam many times). Some small cinemas allow you to booze or snuggle up to a girl on a double seat - this is to be avoided as both will leave you missing large portions of film. 2. The Delivery Service Free to post back, the DVD's keep dropping through you letterbox so quickly it's hard to keep up. Unfortunately, some people do not realise that keeping on top of films is important and (seeing as you are at home) will keep asking you to do unimportant things like go to work, clean the house and put the rubbish out. Using the AnyDVD suite can help by placing the rented films onto a portable device for watching while commuting. The advantage of this is that you do not have to speak to anyone else first thing in the morning - the downside is that it cause a lot of crashes. If you have watched the film Crash you will realise that automotive accidents are not really as bad as they are painted out to be as you are simply offering a racist policeman the opportunity to redeem himself. This is often the case which is why many racist policemen are now put onto traffic duty. C. The Internet Intellectual Copyright no longer exists - just like the days when musicians had to tour from tavern to tavern on the back of an oxen cart, artists now have to entertain you directly for their money or go without. If Bono is not in your front room singing to you about the rotten weekend he's just had then you don't have to pay for the music. The same with films. Ask yourself - when was the last time Robert De Niro bothered to pop round to give your a couple of stanzas? I'll be betting the answer is 'never'. Me neither. Nowadays it is possible to get a virtual Bobby on your desktop in his latest film. These 'free' celluloid hits are available on what are known as torrents. These are totally legal digital internet versions of popular films that movie studios distribute on the World Wide Web for the benefit of people unable to get to cinemas - like the Third World, alcohol/drug abusers and the unemployed. *Other ways These are not to be recommended as it involves going to markets or car boot sales. You will catch a disease at places like this. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hope that you find this little guide helpful and look forward to being able to discuss films with you in future. Enjoy your film watching
Phube Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 lol Yup, it's disturbing how few films some people have seen!!
mancunianfox Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 I'm a bit of a film geek. It suprises me how few films some people have watched too.
Manwell Pablo Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 lolYup, it's disturbing how few films some people have seen!! Not as disturbing as owning the whole of disneys back log eh Phube.
Phube Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 Not as disturbing as owning the whole of disneys back log eh Phube. Actually I (& my Wife, but I'm not saying which belongs to who) only own: Aladdin Finding Nemo Monsters Inc. The Incredibles The Little Mermaid The Black Cauldron The Fox and the Hound The Sword in the Stone Robin Hood But I do want the lot eventually!!
Manwell Pablo Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 Actually I (& my Wife, but I'm not saying which belongs to who) only own:Aladdin Finding Nemo Monsters Inc. The Incredibles The Little Mermaid The Black Cauldron The Fox and the Hound The Sword in the Stone Robin Hood But I do want the lot eventually!! I knew it.
Zingari Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 Actually I (& my Wife, but I'm not saying which belongs to who) only own:Aladdin Finding Nemo Monsters Inc. The Incredibles The Little Mermaid The Black Cauldron The Fox and the Hound The Sword in the Stone Robin Hood But I do want the lot eventually!! you haven't got snow white and the 7 dwarves its by far the best of them all ( the dance sequence in the dwarves home after dinner is truly a masterpiece considering it was done in 1937); walt disney was one of the true geniuses of cinema ( a tribute given too freely imo ) i must have watched it 50 times with all the kids / grandkids etc and still don't get bored by it
Phube Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 you haven't got snow white and the 7 dwarves its by far the best of them all ( the dance sequence in the dwarves home after dinner is truly a masterpiece considering it was done in 1937); walt disney was one of the true geniuses of cinema ( a tribute given too freely imo ) i must have watched it 50 times with all the kids / grandkids etc and still don't get bored by it I never said I hadn't watched it!! Infact I seem to watch it once a week at work (when I scan children). But these are the one's we own at the mo', most are on .... VHS!!!!!
Fez of Mahrez Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 lolYup, it's disturbing how few films some people have seen!! Disturbing! This coming from possibly the campest straight man in the world.
Manwell Pablo Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 I never said I hadn't watched it!! Infact I seem to watch it once a week at work (when I scan children). But these are the one's we own at the mo', most are on .... VHS!!!!! Are you a Catholic priest or a scout master?* (trans thread joke)
Zingari Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 I never said I hadn't watched it!! Infact I seem to watch it once a week at work (when I scan children). But these are the one's we own at the mo', most are on .... VHS!!!!! yes all of mine are on VHS , about 40 i think in total; all rammed into shoe boxes under beds etc ; as i bought them when my own kids were young but they've served 2 generations now and this rainy summer might get a few more plays
MC Prussian Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 OK Daggers, so how come we don't know anything about films?
The People's Hero Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 OK Daggers, so how come we don't know anything about films? Alex - don't you pretty much live for films. ps Best film ever is actually Top Gun.
Phube Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 Alex - don't you pretty much live for films.ps Gayest film ever is actually Top Gun. Fixed! EDIT: This is the Homosexual definition of Gay, not happy (like the 50's) or bad/crap/weak (like the yoofs of today)!
The People's Hero Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 It's brilliant regardless of how straight, gay or homoerotic it might be. And we all love a bit of homoerotica. By we, I mean ManSockPablorganiser and I.
Daggers Posted 27 July 2007 Author Posted 27 July 2007 OK Daggers, so how come we don't know anything about films? Most have hardly seen any films at all which amazes me...and those that have got a lot of the answers wrong in the other thread.
Fez of Mahrez Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 Most have hardly seen any films at all which amazes me...and those that have got a lot of the answers wrong in the other thread. Makes me laugh that some people look down on other people that have not sat down in silence in a darkened room watching people pretend to be other people for two hours.
Manwell Pablo Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 Makes me laugh that some people look down on other people that have not sat down in silence in a darkened room watching people pretend to be other people for two hours. Where as standing in a dark room having your ears severly damaged by four inbreds from Sheffield with instruments whilst being shoved around/barged into by teenage girls and students who haven't washed for a week is considered cool I suppose.
Daggers Posted 27 July 2007 Author Posted 27 July 2007 Makes me laugh that some people look down on other people that have not sat down in silence in a darkened room watching people pretend to be other people for two hours. How dare you accuse me of discriminating. I look down on everyone.
The People's Hero Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 How dare you accuse me of discriminating.I look down on everyone. I look down pretty girls' tops. Actually, they don't even need to be pretty.
Fez of Mahrez Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 Where as standing in a dark room having your ears severly damaged by four inbreds from Sheffield with instruments whilst being shoved around/barged into by teenage girls and students who haven't washed for a week is considered cool I suppose. Might be considered cool by some but I wouldn't look down on anyone for whom it wasn't their cup of tea. This isn't a dig at Daggers particularly but I've got mates who have a facial muscle spasm if I tell them I haven't seen some film.
Daggers Posted 27 July 2007 Author Posted 27 July 2007 Might be considered cool by some but I wouldn't look down on anyone for whom it wasn't their cup of tea. This isn't a dig at Daggers particularly but I've got mates who have a facial muscle spasm if I tell them I haven't seen some film. S'okay. But you haven't seen ANY films. That's just plain wrong. That's like John Whitelock at school who's parents only let him watch BBC1 and BBC2...it's that level of weird.
Manwell Pablo Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 S'okay.But you haven't seen ANY films. That's just plain wrong. That's like John Whitelock at school who's parents only let him watch BBC1 and BBC2...it's that level of weird. Thats not weird, ITV is poor smut.
Geo V Posted 27 July 2007 Posted 27 July 2007 I'm a bit of a film geek. It suprises me how few films some people have watched too. That list on the other thread was shocking! Ive seen plenty of films but some of those were ropey to say the least! Im sure people have seen loads of movies but it didnt come across that way from the previous threads list.
Daggers Posted 27 July 2007 Author Posted 27 July 2007 Thats not weird, ITV is poor smut. That explains an awful lot Manpa...or should I say...John Whitelock. HaHa - I have unmasked you and ruined your evil plot: whatever it was.
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