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Nigella Lawson

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Posted
what did someone say about nigels

Benn.Nigel.jpg

the dark destroyer

Great boxer, but he's a cnut.

And I will tell him..

Through a megaphone whilst hiding in a hole 30 miles away.

Posted
I sat behind him at Bottom Live: An Arse Oddity, at the Birmingham NEC a few years back. His hair got in the way the ****. Never noticed until recently he was in a few of the first ever Red Dwarf episodes. willy puller

I always thought Nigel from Eastenders was nice, cuddly, happy kinda chap? The type of person who you could really enjoy a cup of tea and a biscuit with.

Posted

Nigel Mansell... excellent suggestion.

I wish I were more like Nigel.

Sadly, I just don't have the moustache growing capabilities.

Or the driving skills.

Or the bank account.

I'm a basket case. :(

nigel_mansell.jpg

:wub:

Posted

Interesting stuff. I only know of two Nigels from memory who I can say I know as an almost mate, one from a sunday football team called Interceptor :| and he was an absolute cnut and then one that I used to have as a member of staff at JJB Sports who I caught giving his mates new trainers to walk out of the shop with whilst his stinking trainers that he walked in with were sitting a sreplacements on the stock shelf for the ones he had just given away. He too was a cnut but an arrested one. Watching him get marched out of the store during business hours was a pleasure.

All Nigels are without doubt cnuts. Well spotted lads.

Posted
I'm glad you don't.

Your opinion doesn't count as you don't fancy anyone.

Posted
It's a crazy world, Nigellaland.

A crazy, surreal world where people keep bog-standard ingredients like Tibetan mushrooms, dreid hamster livers and freshly milled tungsten in their freezer. A world where cooking takes place in an ethereal soft focus whilst linen-clad children called Cressida and Percy gambol gaily in a meadow somewhere near, before flouncing inside to sample mummy's gooseberry and parsnip torte, served on a bed of Algerian seaweed (before going off to puke and demanding E numbers and Knik-Nak sandwiches).

Incidentally, if you've not read it, her late husband John Diamond wrote an amazing book called "C" about suffering from, and ultimately succumbing to throat cancer. Well worth a read.

bugger. she's a widow. that ends it for me.

Posted

That isn't even him is it? :unsure:

Your not old enough to appriciate women.

Personally, As an aside, I think she's a magnificent creature.

I'm 17 and I think she's shwing.

Posted
You want a man who holds a wine glass like that??! :|

He's holding a wine glass, which means he must have the rest of the bottle ready to share with me. ;)

That isn't even him is it? :unsure:

:ermm: He'll do. :thumbsup:

Posted
He's holding a wine glass, which means he must have the rest of the bottle ready to share with me. ;)

Your a big girl so you will know what you are letting yourself in for but beware, if he raises his little pinky in the air whilst having a sip, he`ll probably cut out the foreplay and go straight for anal. :|

Posted
Your a big girl so you will know what you are letting yourself in for but beware, if he raises his little pinky in the air whilst having a sip, he`ll probably cut out the foreplay and go straight for anal. :|

All my illusions... shattered. I'm now very scared. :cry:

Posted
All my illusions... shattered. I'm now very scared. :cry:

Of him or me??! :sweating:

If its him just say :protest:

If its me, don't worry. Im harmless. :cheers::dance:

Posted
Of him or me??! :sweating:

If its him just say :protest:

If its me, don't worry. Im harmless. :cheers::dance:

Well, I meant him but I'm starting to wonder about you too. What with assurances like 'harmless' and this...

Best stay in my room for the night where its safe. :|

...Little Red Riding Hood springs to mind just a bit too easily. :unsure::o

Posted
Ouch. :pinch:

Yeah, I know - dreadful spelling :(. Twas painful... I winced :cry:. But I was far too polite to say anything. :whistle:

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