Benjani Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 http://www.closeronline.co.uk/RealLife/Rea...teonline=Friday It can't be true! Can it?????
Fox You Forest Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 http://www.closeronline.co.uk/RealLife/Rea...teonline=FridayIt can't be true! Can it????? Like many men, Jordan Witham is obsessed with his car. But while most boy racers would draw the line at a wax and polish, his obsession has gone into overdrive. The 20 year old is in love with his Volkswagen Beetle – and has been having sex with it for four years. Despite never having kissed a girl before, virgin Jordan has become an experienced lover, covering his car with kisses and caresses before having penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe. “I don’t fancy people,” says Jordan. “It’s cars that do it for me – I don’t want to marry or have kids.” Jordan’s mum, Debbie, 53, doesn’t know about her son’s habit but his dad, David, 50, a door installer, does – and amazingly hasn’t tried to put the brakes on his relationship. Jordan says: “When I told my dad I was sexually attracted to my car, he just said that there are lots of different people out there who are attracted to lots of different things. “I’m not ready to tell Mum, though. She sees the world in a different way and is always asking me if I’ve found a nice girl.” Jordan is one of just a handful of extreme car lovers in the world known as mechaphiles, and says his obsession was fuelled as a child. He says: “I had hundreds of toy cars as a kid and often played in my dad’s Beetle. I used to talk to it, but I didn’t think it was odd as all my mates had imaginary friends.” After Jordan passed his driving test at 16, he spent his £750 savings on his first car, a 1967 VW Beetle. Jordan says: “I just knew she was a ‘girl’ car and I named her Ingo. She hadn’t worked in years, but as soon as I saw her, I had to have her.” It was only while restoring Ingo that Jordan, who has never been attracted to women, realised his feelings were sexual. “I could feel myself falling in love while I worked on Ingo,” he says. “I once became so aroused, I started rubbing her bodywork and masturbating. It didn’t feel strange, just really exciting. “After a few minutes, I felt a desire to connect with her further, so I had penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.” Jordan began making love to his car a couple of times a week, while his parents were out. He recently moved out of their home to make it easier to carry on his relationship. “I don’t always have sex with the car,” he explains. “Sometimes I stroke and kiss her bodywork, or rub myself up against her. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.” Jordan, who also masturbates while reading car magazines, has spent over £2,500 refurbishing Ingo. Most of Jordan’s earnings from his job stacking shelves at a supermarket are spent on her. Now he has spent a further £200 on a “boy” car, a Trans Am he calls Todd, and is experimenting with a “gay” relationship.Jordan says: “He’s very masculine. When I first bought him, I felt like I was cheating on Ingo, but now we all work well together. “I have sex with Ingo more than Todd because Todd is kept in the driveway, not in the garage,” he explains. “I have to sneak outside in the middle of the night to have sex with him.” Unsurprisingly, Jordan from Missouri, USA, describes himself as a bit of a loner – though he has now made friends with another mechaphile over the internet. Jordan says: “I enjoy my life. If I end up an old man, living on my own with just my cars, I’ll be happy.” Jordan, USA - sounds familiar.
Bert Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 OH MY hahahahahahahaha. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.” I feel sorry for his mum, she keeps asking him about girls! She'll never be looking after any of his mini's!
Benjani Posted 27 May 2008 Author Posted 27 May 2008 :laugh: It appears this seems to be happening more and more. Check this link out boys http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics...1,000-cars.html Maybe someone should try it out
Bert Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 :laugh: It appears this seems to be happening more and more. Check this link out boys http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics...1,000-cars.html Maybe someone should try it out I think you have. Strangely enough, you've posted both links.
Benjani Posted 27 May 2008 Author Posted 27 May 2008 I think you have.Strangely enough, you've posted both links. Just researching
Fox You Forest Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 I think you have.Strangely enough, you've posted both links. If he hasnt my vote goes to Craig Adams 23 with the home video on Youtube & Ebay the next day.
Benjani Posted 27 May 2008 Author Posted 27 May 2008 If he hasnt my vote goes to Craig Adams 23 with the home video on Youtube the next day. Don't you mean ebay
Thracian Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 Puts a whole different light on my son coming home and saying the car's f****d! . I'll never know what to think now.
Basingstoke Fox Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 Imagane if when he was doing it, someone started the car
Bert Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 This will send my brain into different train of thought when someone asks for a jump start!
Thracian Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 Imagane if when he was doing it, someone started the car It'd just be like a giant vibrator. The mind boggles. Imagine the exhaust getting hotter and hotter, the guy getting more and more turned on and his unleashed orgasm bringing a prolonged sizzling sound and great clouds of steam from the back end. It's the stuff of erotic novels!
Tommy G Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 Unbelievable, the bloke should be put down Don't people get put away in mental homes for doing things like that?..
Thracian Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 Unbelievable, the bloke should be put down Don't people get put away in mental homes for doing things like that?.. If you lock everyone up who ever has wacky fantasies you'll have no-one left on the outside. As for "putting him down" can you imagine explaining that... "I hung the bloke for bonking an exhaust pipe. Okay, the pipe seemed quite receptive, the car moved off with a purr afterwards but it can't be allowed to become the norm... "Women will feel psychologically unwanted and the population will plummet." "We'll become a nation of pipelets."
LeeCovFox Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 What an odd boy. I don't suppose he is doing anybody any harm though. I don't understand why it is he won't tell his mum, but he will tell a woman's magazine. Well thats a lie, I do understand completely, its got to be for the money. Surely it can't be pleasurable, sticking it up an exhaust pipe? I would imagine it is quite a painful thing. They don't look very inviting to me. Having said that neither do men's arseholes. Each to their own I guess.
Tommy G Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 If you lock everyone up who ever has wacky fantasies you'll have no-one left on the outside. As for "putting him down" can you imagine explaining that... "I hung the bloke for bonking an exhaust pipe. Okay, the pipe seemed quite receptive, the car moved off with a purr afterwards but it can't be allowed to become the norm... "Women will feel psychologically unwnted and the population will plummet." "We'll become a nation of pipelets." Well there is fettishes, which are normal. Such as having sex with your shoes on or something? But nobbing ur car is taking it way too far
LeeCovFox Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 Well there is fettishes, which are normal. Such as having sex with your shoes on or something?But nobbing ur car is taking it way too far Can you imagine catching someone doing it? I'm not sure how I'd react. I think I'd just oretend I'd never seen it. You couldn't tell anyone could you? Who would believe you?
Tommy G Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 Can you imagine catching someone doing it? I'm not sure how I'd react. I think I'd just oretend I'd never seen it. You couldn't tell anyone could you? Who would believe you? It just beggars belief. i would probably point and laugh, take a photo and send it into the Leicester Mercury. I hope he uses a Jonny each time, otherwise he will end up with a rusty cock, its just disgusting.
LeeCovFox Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 It just beggars belief. i would probably point and laugh, take a photo and send it into the Leicester Mercury. I hope he uses a Jonny each time, otherwise he will end up with a rusty cock, its just disgusting. It is. But its also hilarious.
Master Fox Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 It just beggars belief. i would probably point and laugh, take a photo and send it into the Leicester Mercury. I hope he uses a Jonny each time, otherwise he will end up with a rusty cock, its just disgusting.
LeeCovFox Posted 27 May 2008 Posted 27 May 2008 Did you and Singh arrange this MF? Is this one of the reasons why my Mandela session is taking so long to come to fruition?
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