Wycombe Fox Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 Atheism is a non-prophet organization. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. I went to a bookshop and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. What if there were no hypothetical questions? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why do they petrol station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If the police arrest a mime artist, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? What was the best thing before sliced bread? One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How is it possible to have a civil war? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it? Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented? Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
Uncle Phil Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 Pedantic alert. Man didn't evolve from monkeys or apes.
Wycombe Fox Posted 23 March 2011 Author Posted 23 March 2011 Pedantic alert. Man didn't evolve from monkeys or apes. Adam or chimps? Shall I change it to 'chimps' (which are apes anyway)?
Bob Weasel Fox Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 does the light stay on in the fridge when you shut the door . . . . . .?
Uncle Phil Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 Adam or chimps? Shall I change it to 'chimps' (which are apes anyway)? Ermmm neither really haha, they were evolving from a common ancestor at the same time which was neither chimp nor human. Just leave it be, I could go on for a while here.
Wycombe Fox Posted 23 March 2011 Author Posted 23 March 2011 Ermmm neither really haha, they were evolving from a common ancestor at the same time which was neither chimp nor human. Just leave it be, I could go on for a while here. Damn fine pedantry though!
Zingari Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 War does not determine who is right - only who is left. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
FoxyPV Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 does the light stay on in the fridge when you shut the door . . . . . .? no
Haydos Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 Ermmm neither really haha, they were evolving from a common ancestor at the same time which was neither chimp nor human. Just leave it be, I could go on for a while here. I get just as irritated when people mention this
broughtonblue Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, how did he know if it worked if no one else had one?
Trav Le Bleu Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 does the light stay on in the fridge when you shut the door . . . . . .? Dunno, I'll ask Schrodinger's cat.
Jackirius Posted 23 March 2011 Posted 23 March 2011 does the light stay on in the fridge when you shut the door . . . . . .? It doesn't, well not on mine atleast. The trick behind finding it out is to close it so it is just about to fully shut and then peer inside too see.
Wycombe Fox Posted 23 March 2011 Author Posted 23 March 2011 It doesn't, well not on mine atleast. The trick behind finding it out is to close it so it is just about to fully shut and then peer inside too see. Or put a camcorder inside (recording obviously)
Haydos Posted 24 March 2011 Posted 24 March 2011 Or just press down the lever it pushes against when it closes....
Mack Posted 24 March 2011 Posted 24 March 2011 When I have a huge jank post curry and beer bender, does the stink go up the pipes in my bastard neighbors boudoir?
Mee Posted 25 March 2011 Posted 25 March 2011 When you have a crap, why can everyone else smell it - buy I can't? Or am I just the only one?
Smudge Posted 25 March 2011 Posted 25 March 2011 If the inventor of the TYPEWRITER placed all the those letters in the same row, why didn't he place them in order? Was he lyxesdic?
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