Change is Good or the More Things Change the More They Stay the Same?

[sphericalfox]

Here's an interesting article on change, and why embracing change is possibly the route to happiness.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23986212

 

I've spent nearly my whole life changing, some enforced and some of my own fruition. I'd like to think that I'm not afraid of making a decision that will alter or change my status quo, but only if it'll be for the benefit of those immediate to me. Not all of those decisions for change have worked out, and led to happiness, but lessons were learned and when the next need for change occurs, I can make the decision with a little less trepidation and ultimately I'll be happy.

 

I know this article won't be applicable to the majority, going by the general archetype postings over on the Football Forum, but I'm interested to hear whether keeping the status quo is important to people or embracing change is something to accept to be happy.

 

 

[Rincewind]

I'll read it later maybe.

 

Not sure what you mean but I don't really think about things or decisions I make as life changes. They just happen.

At 21 my dad died and I thought about the job I was doing which was basically still doing running about and odd warehouse work. I went  to another place about a job and was  told they were looking for somebody younger 16-18. i felt hold and told my manager that I didn't want to be a sandwhich boy and he moved me to the warehouse. I did less of the running about but could be relied upon to 'fill in' Similar thing happened when I thought I was getting nowhere in the warehouse. Other lads who started after me were now on piecework earning a lot more.

My point here I had two chances to change. If I had been offered and taken the job at the other factory when 21 what would I be doing now. I may have met somebody married 3/4 kids divorced paid alimony for 10 years and now struggling with a mortgage. Or I could have survived 30 years of happy marriage before succumbing to an heart attack brought on by a romantic night out.

 

I am what I am and happy to be it so que sera sera

 

[Captain...]

I've only skim read the article, but I am a big advocate of change. In the last 10 years I've lived in Leicester, Sheffield, Valencia, Pamplona, Lichfield, Hertford, London twice, travelled round the world, had 2 completely different careers, started completely from scratch 3 times, with varying degrees of success, possibly about to do it again.

 

I am generally as happy as a pig in shit, because I know that whatever happens I can cope with it, I've got a back up career, friends all over the world who I know will help me out should I need it.

[purpleronnie]

I predict quite a lot more humblebragging in this thread.

[Rincewind]

Being alive and living as I do is better than the opposite alternative.

 

[Captain...]

I predict quite a lot more humblebragging in this thread.

 

I think mine was more bragging, but it would be interesting to see if those who have changed a lot in their life feel happier than those that haven't, which is the premise of the article.

[Rincewind]

I think I have made subtle changes.

 

[Vacamion]

Bragging's OK?  Here I go then...

 

A few years ago I was a lardarse smoker who took no exercise, ate mostly crap and was heading towards a lot of health trouble. 

 

I started running about two years ago, stopped smoking just after that and, having initially struggled to keep the weight off after stopping smoking, I have now lost a fair bit of weight, I run four times a week, I eat much more fruit and veg than I used to and I'm glad to say that I'm feeling miles better for it.

 

I still like a pint and I still like a curry, but I don't go mad and indulge all the time, like I was always tempted to previously.

 

I think when you hit 40 you can feel the sickly breath of the Reaper on your neck, so that's probably what prompted the change, but if anyone is feeling bloated and unfit, stub your ciggie out, go and get your running shoes on and jog to Tesco to buy an iceberg lettuce!

 

[sphericalfox]

I suppose more people are likely to present/post about changes they've made for the better for themselves. I don't consider it bragging at all. A lifestyle change, quitting smoking, reducing drinking, etc doesn't necessarily mean happiness. Usually you replace one addiction with another at times.

 

I'm interested in those who are afraid of change, maybe terrified of stepping out their cosy bubble of repetition and security, that when one little enforced change occurs that they are unable to cope with it and fall to pieces. Does having regular change reduce the fear, thus lead to more happiness, or does this knowing what every day brings, a mapping of your year, the same holidays, the same social encounters, the same circle of work, weekend, work.

 

What reinforces this fear or trepidation?

[Captain...]

I suppose more people are likely to present/post about changes they've made for the better for themselves. I don't consider it bragging at all. A lifestyle change, quitting smoking, reducing drinking, etc doesn't necessarily mean happiness. Usually you replace one addiction with another at times.

 

I'm interested in those who are afraid of change, maybe terrified of stepping out their cosy bubble of repetition and security, that when one little enforced change occurs that they are unable to cope with it and fall to pieces. Does having regular change reduce the fear, thus lead to more happiness, or does this knowing what every day brings, a mapping of your year, the same holidays, the same social encounters, the same circle of work, weekend, work.

 

What reinforces this fear or trepidation?

 

My ex was the opposite of me, she hates change, and has been stuck in a job she hates for 3 years and is too scared to quit. She has recently been signed off with depression, when we were together I was constantly telling her to quit, to make a change, to move jobs, to do anything other than something you hate for 8-9 hours a day. After some counselling it turns out there is some issues in her past that she hasn't really dealt with, whether that resolves that fear of change or not I don't know.

 

But obviously that is also an extreme example, I'm sure there are lots of people with wife, kids, good job that they have been in for years who are very content with their lives.

[MooseBreath]

I reckon happiness is more chemical than anything else. Different brains will release different levels of serotonin, and that's it. There are some things you can do and drugs you can take and environments you can place yourself in to increase the release, but in the end it's only chemistry, baby.

My experience of getting out of my comfort zone has been mixed. You can learn great things about yourself and the world, but you can also learn a few things which are not so nice. How you respond to this, in my opinion, is a result of your attitude at the time, which is determined by the chemistry.

I know people who have lived very full and varied lives who are very happy, and others who are unhappy. I know people who still live in the same street they grew up in and have followed the same routine for years who are depressed, and others who are very happy. There's no guarantee that one lifestyle or the other os going to result in happiness. I think it is mostly pre-determined and all you can really do to achieve any extra happiness is to learn what triggers your brain to release those happy chemicals and focus on that.

I think that's why "ignorance is bliss" and we often see these fairly simple types displaying very happy go lucky attitudes. They don't look at things too deeply. They feel what makes them happy and then they keep going back for more. While more thoughtful people waste time trying to find some deeper meaning which doesn't exist, and of which the pursuit provides them no happiness.

[Rincewind]

I was content in my job in the hosiery for around 30 years until redundancy forced me to change  to a security officer. Never would have considered that as a career in the previous 30 or so years. I met an old work mate who suggested it. I asked wher SO had to be big and brutal looking all he said was look at me do i fit that description? He didn't.

So I went to a recruitment day at New walk Job centre. had a word with them they took my name down and said they't let me know.

Funny thing is I saw another SO job applied and got it. A week or two later received a call from the first ones offering me a job. I said i had just taken one and was asked why as I was certain to get this one. Anyway I did go to them a couple of years later when the site I worked closed.

It was a major change as in working hours. 39-60 or  72 and alternate shifts.days and nights. UGH.

[Smudge]

I predict quite a lot more humblebragging in this thread.

Why have you bought some new shoes?

[purpleronnie]

Why have you bought some new shoes?

[The Year Of The Fox]

I hate change. Especially when youre on a cushy number at work or whatever and someone threatens to upset that apple cart.

I spent a year doing an extended phase 1 training in the army. We had worked bloody hard, won over the platoon staff big time and all get on well in the platoon. But it was just a training platoon, not one person was going to my regiment. Had everyone in that platoon been going the same place as me I'd probably still be in thete now. Sounds daft really I know. I guess the probability of us going through exactly the same sort of blood sweat and occasionally tears just to win over a new set of platoon staff didn't appeal.

I think its because I'm a very organised person and like to know what's happening and when. I don't really like spontaneous things at all, unless its a spontaneous activity but with the people i know n trust. I also like being in control of my own destiny I guess?

[Alf Bentley]

I'm sure the boring answer to this is that a lot of change suits some but not others. Lots of change when young, followed by stability, but with variety and excitement, when older would've been the ideal for me.

 

Age 18-34, I had a lot of change: countless different jobs; lived in every region of England apart from Yorkshire/NE, plus several stints abroad; lots of travel; went back to uni as a mature student after dropping out first time...I thrived on it and turned from a complete mess at 18 to a secure, self-confident bloke by 34......but then it all started feeling a bit rootless and pointless, and I wanted a bit more stability

 

Age 34-51, I've had that stability: same relationship for 18 years; same region of England for 17 years; same occupation for 14 years; parenthood....and, in all honesty, there's not been enough change for me! Or, at least, not enough excitement and variety (not quite the same thing). Some aspects of it have been great: I've loved the long-term commitment of parenthood, in particular, and am happy enough with my occupation....but I miss not having a lively social life and not getting away to lots of different places. I've gone from one extreme (constant change) to the other (stability verging on stagnation, but with rewards). Partly just circumstances: moving to a new area in early middle-age, when most people already have established social circles; doing a job that involves working alone from home.

 

I wouldn't swap the excitement and growth of my 18-34 years for the world, but would have felt a bit of a loser still living that way at 51.... I just would have liked the shift to greater stability to have been a bit less extreme, and to still involve a bit more travel, variety and excitement, especially of the social variety (a lot of blokes get very boring as they age...and, no, I'm not talking about myself - I'm just a gasbag, that's different!)