MooseBreath Posted 8 April 2015 Posted 8 April 2015 Turned up to work late? Got sacked? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Reached out for a fag? Hurt your back? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Dropped out of school early? No learning? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Made a preteen girl your bitch? Hate the rich? Need a saviour? Vote labour. No intention of going to work? 'cos your toe hurts? Need a saviour? Vote labour. You don't need to be no slave From the rich we'll take take take With borrowed gold we will pave The road to 'spoons from your enclave Vote for Labour, this is what they say Tomorrow will be a new day The day the rich are made to pay For you to fvck around getting pissed and smoking fags and bringing up shit little kids and generally contributing fvck all to society
bovril Posted 8 April 2015 Posted 8 April 2015 First they came for the Top Gear viewers, and I did not speak out - Because I don't watch Top Gear. Then they came for the Express readers, and I did not speak out - Because I don't read the Express. Then they came for the honest, hard-working British taxpayer, and I did not speak out - Because I'm unemployed and Romanian. Then they came for the real ale drinkers, and I did not speak out - Because I prefer decaf skinny-latte. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me. ("They" in this context being the metropolitan, liberal elite, obviously.)
Rincewind Posted 8 April 2015 Author Posted 8 April 2015 Turned up to work late? Got sacked? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Reached out for a fag? Hurt your back? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Dropped out of school early? No learning? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Made a preteen girl your bitch? Hate the rich? Need a saviour? Vote labour. No intention of going to work? 'cos your toe hurts? Need a saviour? Vote labour. You don't need to be no slave From the rich we'll take take take With borrowed gold we will pave The road to 'spoons from your enclave Vote for Labour, this is what they say Tomorrow will be a new day The day the rich are made to pay For you to fvck around getting pissed and smoking fags and bringing up shit little kids and generally contributing fvck all to society If you did not notice I am having a go at all parties even Labour. Want to work two hours a day Want someone to lick your shoes Hire Tory Boy Moosebreath Want someone to drive you around Want someone to wipe your arse Hire Tory Boy Moosebreath Want someone to give you a bath Want someone to share your bed Hire Tory Boy Moosebreath
Rincewind Posted 9 April 2015 Author Posted 9 April 2015 Bloody terrible. Was that for the poem or the suggestion? I was not serious about it.
Alf Bentley Posted 9 April 2015 Posted 9 April 2015 Turned up to work late? Got sacked? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Reached out for a fag? Hurt your back? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Dropped out of school early? No learning? Need a saviour? Vote labour. Made a preteen girl your bitch? Hate the rich? Need a saviour? Vote labour. No intention of going to work? 'cos your toe hurts? Need a saviour? Vote labour. You don't need to be no slave From the rich we'll take take take With borrowed gold we will pave The road to 'spoons from your enclave Vote for Labour, this is what they say Tomorrow will be a new day The day the rich are made to pay For you to fvck around getting pissed and smoking fags and bringing up shit little kids and generally contributing fvck all to society You probably won't believe me, Moose, but I honestly - and mistakenly - read that as as a Ken Rincewind poem, and a very good one. I assumed that it was a brilliant parody of the crass idiocy of the cynical thinking of right-minded people like yourself. Hilarious to find that it was (very well) written by you! Ken, I'm sorry that I've not posted a review of your poetry books yet. I will do, though I'm sure you're not waiting with baited breath. I assume that you want an honest opinion, In short, I thought that the first volume was very good indeed - a lot of substance, poignancy, and a lot of different poetic structures that were well delivered. As poetry, I thought that the second volume was less good overall (with exceptions) - some good poems, much valid content (about homelessness etc), but.... maybe the "valid content" would be better delivered in prose form? Or in ways better able to entice the sympathy of the reader, rather than to lecture to them? Good luck with your work, anyway. You've produced some genuinely original, expressive, well-structured work - which is more than most have done, including me.
Rincewind Posted 9 April 2015 Author Posted 9 April 2015 Yes I suppose that is the best way to look at it. I wasn't sure to start with. It was obviously done to wind me up and it sort of worked but looking at it like you have Alf I can see the parady side. As for your review I welcome constructive criticism. I understand what you are saying. In the first book I put all my best ones in and maybe I rushed the second one. Most in the first one were written a few years ago so maybe I have grown more cynical in recent years. At some point I would like to put them all into one volume as well as work from other poets and to put it into a hardback as well. It may sell better. I would probably have to get an independent publisher for that not Amazon and help with promoting but the return could be more. I really need to concentrate on some new stuff now I have more time on my hands. I may be retired but I think I can put 'writer' down as an occupation which may quieten the 'getting money for free' crowd. Receiving no income from it is not my fault. Plenty of writers have set times to do it and treat writing as a 9-5 job. I do a lot of research though observing people when out and about.
Buce Posted 9 April 2015 Posted 9 April 2015 Yes I suppose that is the best way to look at it. I wasn't sure to start with. It was obviously done to wind me up and it sort of worked but looking at it like you have Alf I can see the parady side. As for your review I welcome constructive criticism. I understand what you are saying. In the first book I put all my best ones in and maybe I rushed the second one. Most in the first one were written a few years ago so maybe I have grown more cynical in recent years. At some point I would like to put them all into one volume as well as work from other poets and to put it into a hardback as well. It may sell better. I would probably have to get an independent publisher for that not Amazon and help with promoting but the return could be more. I really need to concentrate on some new stuff now I have more time on my hands. I may be retired but I think I can put 'writer' down as an occupation which may quieten the 'getting money for free' crowd. Receiving no income from it is not my fault. Plenty of writers have set times to do it and treat writing as a 9-5 job. I do a lot of research though observing people when out and about. There's a really useful guide to self-publishing in that magazine I pm'ed you about, Ken.
Rincewind Posted 10 April 2015 Author Posted 10 April 2015 Written before the recent demolition of the council offices after news about fines for dropping cigarettes in the street was announced. Smoking is bad for your wealth Barry was a perfect citizen And would never break the law Having the odd fag or two Was his only flaw. One day on a cigarette break In the works smoking spot He dropped the finished butt Amongst burgers going to rot. Then there was an enormous roar And Barry was taken aback In the road facing him Appeared a gigantic crack. The council offices opposite Started to crumble The Mayor's quarters disappeared Into a mound of rubble. Out of the misty dust came a warden Shouting 'I saw what you did You have been a litter bug Which carries a fine of eighty quid.' A week later Barry received a bill For the damage done The bill was itemised Two million 300 thousand pence none. Items included looking in holes And instruments that go ping Temporary accommodation for the Mayor Residing at the Holiday Inn. The letter then concluded As a gesture of goodwill we will waive The £80 litter throwing fine But please don't do it again.
MooseBreath Posted 10 April 2015 Posted 10 April 2015 Correct me if I'm wrong ken but the poem appears to imply that the carrying out of remedial works to damaged buildings is an unnecessary, and perhaps false expense of which the burden of payment is placed unfairly on the 'ordinary working man'? Not a criticism just trying to establish the meaning.
Rincewind Posted 10 April 2015 Author Posted 10 April 2015 Correct me if I'm wrong ken but the poem appears to imply that the carrying out of remedial works to damaged buildings is an unnecessary, and perhaps false expense of which the burden of payment is placed unfairly on the 'ordinary working man'? Not a criticism just trying to establish the meaning. No it was just a comical piece. I could have said 20 million or 20p it would still have been an unlikely scenario. Building falling down as a cause of a cigarette being thrown away? There was a piece in the Mercury a few months ago on how dropping a cigarette end would result in an instant fine. You do not get the ending? They waived the fine as a gesture of goodwill. It was a joke.
MooseBreath Posted 10 April 2015 Posted 10 April 2015 I thought the £80 gesture of goodwill was supposed to be ironic because tthey'd ripped him off for £2.3m to repair the building, which apparently involved lots of pointless tasks like "looking in holes".
Rincewind Posted 10 April 2015 Author Posted 10 April 2015 I thought the £80 gesture of goodwill was supposed to be ironic because tthey'd ripped him off for £2.3m to repair the building, which apparently involved lots of pointless tasks like "looking in holes". yes you got it
MooseBreath Posted 10 April 2015 Posted 10 April 2015 Fair enough, there is certainly a lot of wastage in public sector spending. One suspects though that the "looking in holes" are probably actually valuable checks, call me pedantic but in a world where a single cigarette butt can bring down a whole building I reckon the more checks the better!
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.