Foxhateram

Just another day….. on my own this xmas. I’m feeling it! My kids at their mum’s grandparents with mummy’s new fella and they haven’t been allowed to ring or message me Merry Christmas. Just doesn’t feel like Christmas at all. I guess this lonely time is a good time to try and fight some demons. Trying my best not to get on the drinks but there is a bottle of vodka singing for me in the cupboard. Will just sleep all day instead.

Thanks for the support guys. I’m working through things in my head and I will get there. Just got to find a purpose and a thing to work towards. I’m really lost at the moment and completely out of sync. But I’ll get there.

Fortunately someone kind on here helped me out. Thank you to FT for bailing me out again.

Embarrassingly I’m now stuck at a garage and can’t pay for the fuel, thought I had more money left. Police are coming to talk about it. What a ****ing mess just want the ground to swallow me up and take me away from this mess!! Take me away from this shit life!

Stuck in a rut recently. ****ed everything up with my partner who now ****ing hates me and run up a huge debt I can’t handle. About to be made homeless just before Christmas and feeling like no matter how hard I try nothing is good enough. Why do I always **** everything up so bad? What an absolute useless piece of shit I am! When my mind overthinks I end up ruining everything with my paranoia. What a ****ing great Christmas. sorry everyone ranting

Proper stuck for money this month guys. I get paid on the 25th anyone able to help out? So embarrassing asking but got no where to turn.

Hamza has impressed at training apparently and likely to become new club captain. Just something I’ve heard on the grapevine. Good for him if he does, has decent experience in this league tbf!

I’ve got a good feeling about him. He seems to have a clear vision and is keen to improve the atmosphere around the club. He seems Pearson esc in his approach, QPR people I know seem to have only good things to say about him and are gutted he’s left. If he can get the best out of Fatawu and Mavadidi and nurture our young talent (which he seems keen to do) then I think we are on to a winner. 🥇

Yes, we scored another but it was ‘offside’, nearly toppled their unbeaten run!

Sertraline made me feel so so numb! Even moments I should be enjoying I just drifted through, like I was watching my life from the outside while someone else lived it! It calmed my thoughts, but meant I didn’t feel anymore. Then again my mind is racing faster than a steam train at the moment and I’m just not coping well at all. Feel lonely even though I have people around me, can’t switch off that inner voice that is constantly doubting myself, telling me I’m not good enough. I just don’t feel like getting up in the mornings and right from the word go it’s a constant battle all day long. Feels like I get no peace from my over active brain! Seems impossible to relax and switch off! It’s affecting everything, my relationship, my friendships and my health. I just don’t seem to be able to stop the self destruct right now.

Get him out now. RVN gone, now time to continue clearing out the dead wood. Rudkin has sailed this ship into oblivion. Time to kick him off and start rebuilding again.

****ing hated Burnley under him. Most dull and vile football I’ve ever seen! I’m not a tippy tappy fan either, but 11 men behind the ball and hope to counter on the hoof is not what I want to see at my club. We had enough of that under Holloway and Levein thanks. We need to build a squad around our youngsters now. The type of football that would suit them best is quick wing play and fast paced, high press, quick passing football. Basically how we played the prem win season. Direct and penetrative but not hoofing. I hope our next manager can do that and get the best out of our young academy starlets. That’s the way forward now as a club.

Thanks mate. I’ll get there, just one of those days where everything gets a bit too much!

Getting help with the debt already, but lots of new things keep cropping up and it’s making life an impossibility, I’ve already stripped everything back to the bare minimum to make ends meet. Still it is growing. Just wish all the frustration would go away so that I can enjoy the good moments in life, but right now, I feel so lost in my mind, it makes it so difficult to switch off to enjoy the good bits. Thanks for listening matey.

Debt out of control! Addicted to things that are not helping! Work is too much and the pressure of life is just getting to me now! I miss my Nana dearly, she always helped me through! Crazy thing is my partner is amazing and things are great right now really. But the the weight of the world is on my shoulders! I wish I could see my kids more often and I wish I wasn’t struggling as much as I am! got a new job recently and although this means that in the long run things will get better financially, right now it feels as though recovering from the current financial mess I’m in is an impossibility. My ex wife is taking me to the cleaners and my business is going down the pan! My new job is high pressure and is just too much for me to mentally cope with right now!!! Feel like I’m in free fall and can’t stop it!! How do I stop it?