Parafox

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Thanks for asking. a) No. Nothing she's passionate about anymore. She did do a beauty course before lockdown that cost a fair whack, but when it came to the exams she couldn't cope as her ADHD prevented her concentrating. b) No. c) No. We only hope she can get back the person that was reasonably well and able to manage life, but it's a struggle

Only to come back in, in a years time.

We have had relationship counselling in the past which helped to a degree. We do use the suggested tools/methods to manage/support ourselves when it get's really difficult. I do tend to think that we have become more and more resilient the longer our situation has gone on. We always hold out hope. Even though she is 30 yrs old she still needs us as her parents, albeit adoptive, as we're all she has.

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We have friends and family that are supportive. Our closest friends have witnessed T at her worst so they have some insight and understanding and also have had comparatively minor MH issues with their adopted daughters over the years so they are our go-to people when it's really tough. Yes I am aware of the appeals process and that I can also appeal on her behalf. That's not something that I would contemplate though, as she needs to be where she is and even she acknowledges that and is compliant with her meds in the unit and hasn't been a problem for staff. It's a matter of reaching the point where she can either be medicated or counselled (or most likely, both) to be in a stable mental state to live independently again. As she did before this crisis.

Well, it's section 2 at the moment so, up to 28 days, but it can be extended as I'm sure you know, depending on her MH progress to becoming well enough for discharge. I've been in this situation with her several times and in my experience she has never been discharged inappropriately. She has been diagnosed with borderline PD, ADHD, Sociopathy, also currently and more recently, psychosis and paranoid thinking. We have been involved in her care for 20 years on and off depending on her mental state and the need for support. And yes, we've had a conversation with her consultant about her family history as well as our experiences of her social behaviours, school attendance etc. as well as her involvement with social services over the years and especially at the times her daughters were removed from her. She has extensive notes available to the MH teams. It just feels like there's no real resolution to this and that must be the same for anyone in our situation.

Thank you Wymsey. I will PM you, probably after her discharge as there are suggestions from the MHU team that there will be some support in the community for her but it might well be that she won't entirely engage with them as she is very averse to any "formal" support where she will either be visited at home or will have appointments made to attend some kind of MH as an outpatient. She may well be more open to an informal chat over the phone. It's unpredictable but it's worth a try. Thanks again

I don't know. We're so tired of trying to work this out. It's so complex and our daughter is one of thousands that are suffering. It should be down to the professionals to determine the best way forward. It feels to me that they are so overwhelmed that individual care is so difficult to manage it becomes unmanageable. 30 years of our life dominated by the mental health of someone we didn't give birth to and have had to do our best for on behalf of people who couldn't care less. **** them. I couldn't care less about them. We absolutely love her in spite of everything that has gone before. The threats, the anger, the hatred, the verbal abuse the physical attacks. "It's not her fault "is our mantra. Even after she has had me at knifepoint. After she has cut herself for the umpteenth time. And now, after another admission to MHU. We are becoming used to the hope being followed by despair. It's no wonder people are afraid to reach out. They should, because what might not work for us could very well work for them. It's out there, take the chance, it might just change your life. Anyone dealing with MH, either personally or professionally, will understand the level of commitment and understanding and sympathy that's involved in caring for someone that's suffering. Suffering... please acknowledge that word. They suffer, immeasurably. Everyday. For their entire life Their ENTIRE life. No days off. No breaks to feel normal.

What is really saddening is that it's not her fault. We know about her pre-adoptive history. She was born to parents who were drug users, who had a previous child, our daughter's elder brother, who was taken into care at risk of neglect and emotional abuse as an infant. He took his own life at 27. Our daughter was also a victim of emotional and human neglect. What we know about her life, from birth to her going into care and it is harrowing. I can't put it on here it's that bad. It's no wonder she is full of hate and vile. The unfortunate thing, among others things, is that there was never any real support for her, other than removal from her birth parents and going to foster carers. We were left to pick up the after effects of this. Social Services acknowledged there were issues due to our daughter's early life experiences but we had no support. We don't know how to help her. It's not her fault after all. She is not the only one suffering from the actions of those who were supposed to keep her safe. Those are the ones I'd kick in the face if I could. I don't even think they'd care even if they could see the consequences of their neglect and abuse. She wasn't born a bad person. She has become difficult through her life experiences. I feel so sad for her. She's a victim of her birth parents. The question is, are her birth parents victims of their own birth parents? It's a never ending cycle.

She is now in a secure MHU and has been for two weeks now. We went to see her today for the first time since her admission. She was so angry with us and believes that we are the instigators of her admission. We had to end the visit as we felt threatened by her behaviour. I can't put into words how it is a struggle for her and for us. She said she is determined to get revenge on those that she feels have made her life miserable or that she perceives as a threat and said she will attack them on sight. I just can't see how she will ever be allowed back into the community unless there a significant change and I pin my hopes on the long term treatment in the MHU but even then, there is a real chance that she will revert to type once she is back in her home. I genuinely fear that she will ultimately go to prison.

I absolutely am. Tell me why I'm not

I didn't watch tonight. Won't watch any of our last games. It's a pointless waste of time. The same thing happens. I can't bear to see us fail like this. It's almost worse than BR. We knew he was going to sabotage our club and we kind of gave up but seeing us now, when we thought we'd got someone with a fresh approach that gave us hope and anticipation, to now see it now it's all the Emperors Clothes once again. The man is one dimensional. He fails to ignite or inspire confidence

They don't GAF. They'll move on and get paid handsomely whatever happens to our club. And therein lies the problem. Footballers are essentially mercenaries and will follow the fast cash. Nothing else matters to them

When Enzo said of the fans don't back me, I'm leaving. Go on then, **** off

Fair comment.

"The UAE utilizes operational aircraft-based and drone-controlled hygroscopic cloud seeding as opposed to conventional randomized aircraft seeding, as it does not take into consideration the varying properties of rain clouds, especially present in dusty and arid regions like the UAE".

Apparently @Bilo quoted me on this topic but it seems to have been removed within minutes. I'd love to know what was said.

So is "accepting trainers, etc" the same as footballers "accepting" new boots for every game? Or is that "corporate" sponsorship? If so it seems a tad unfair on Stringer.

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C'est La Vie

Was he really Roy Kinnear's younger brother? Years ago, someone told me that he was. I'm still not sure.

He's busy doing "stuff" abroad.