Mike Oxlong

To be fair that's. a pretty dangerous existence. Too much recoil from the accordion and they'll be off that skateboard before you can say "stumps"

I like the "blind" ones who catch the coin mid air. Staggering sense of hearing!

I'm like that kid off the Sixth Sense except instead of seeing dead people I hear poor people. They're usually shouting "Big Issue" or "You got some spare change mate?"

Fukkin nutters

Sorry, but I'm struggling with the concept that you are not judging Ken whilst calling him a hypocrite.

Quite literally.

edit; Sorry, got this confused with the tinder thread.

Sorry Syston, but I absolutely hate cyclists, so much so that I had to ignore the last sentence of your post. I would love to mount a barrel/karcher pressure washer rig on the bonnet of my car, fill it to the brim with horse piss and drive round spraying the lycra clad wanqas with a bit of coolant.

Ha ha. I see what you mean.

Button flies.

Essential before lending the phone to your girlfriend/wife/mother

Might be tough unless you get there nice and early.

And now I find myself agreeing with you agreeing with me Ponsonby.

People who give their kids "designer" names. Posh mum in shop running after "Digby". He's human not canine, two legs not four. Crossed my mind to throw a stick for the little fella to fetch.

Mrs Oxlong used to use these exact words on a frequent basis. Sadly the last time wax over 20 years ago before we were married.

Yesterday was good. Got accosted by one of those Save The Children fundraisers in town. Told him I couldn't sign up. He asked why. I said coz I fukkin hate kids.

But almost inevitable that they would at sometime fall under investigation given their own actions that evening coupled with inconsistencies in accounts given to the police from the group re the events of that evening. I recall myself thinking that Kate's presentation struck me as odd but perhaps she was in shock and people may react differently to the same event. But overall it's hardly a surprise that there are those who question whether they know more than they have let on. After all, we do live in a tabloid, social media driven, tittle-tattle society where everyone's business is our business.

Sorry Alf, normally like your posts but this one's a bit over the top IMO. Personal letters to the McCanns - Pffft !!!! I think that there's enough in the public domain to reasonably form an opinion either way. For what it's worth I don't believe that they killed their daughter. Had they done so I don't think they would have raised the alarm until the next morning giving them the whole night to clean up and dispose of the body. It would have also got them off the hook for not properly supervising Maddie as they could have said that she was safely asleep on their return from the Tapas bar. That said, for two intelligent people in a profession of care it is staggering that they were content to leave their children as they did. I'm sure that must be hard for them now but they put their own needs first that evening and failed in their exercise of proper parental responsibility.

A barbers shop will have a bunch of tits harmonising.A hairdresser's is the same without the singing.

The nerds over analyse all this fiscal economics shizzle. At the end of the day it all boils down to the money shot.

Saw you and Mrs Kokopops to be at a recent game and was pleased to see she had a full set of digits.

People who do this make me feel claustrophobic and I get all nervous and fidgety which regrettably results in me jolting and jarring their seat at random intervals, sort of like a muscle spasm turrets.

I thought absolute in their purest form i.e without all the baggage that usually surrounds them!

Ha ha. I was thinking a nice anchovy topping.

Yeah. Didn't look good. Did you see the possible reason for him missing the penalty earlier in the match? http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/atletico-madrids-diego-costa-suffers-3410947