Mike Oxlong

Wives did used to have letters addressed to them using their husbands forename ( as a postie you will know to what extent this still occurs) but I didn't think it was commonplace in the age of wimmin and equality. However it would make sense if Mrs "John" Murphy had size 11 feet and was post-op.

Why are you Mrs "John" Murphy?

I always chuckle at my wife's sense of humour when she says "not tonight, I've got a headache"

"Keep the faith" It's so Micky Adams.

Kid looks a bit tubby. Probably had his eye on the cake.

Must be my lucky day as I've just received the following e-mail. Dear User, You have won GBP3000.000.00 Three Million Pounds from Orange CAF 2013 Africa Cup of Nations,Your email address was selected during the Award Draw Program held in Johannesburg South Africa The football championship of Africa organized by the Confederation of African Football (CAF) Your winning details Below Reference Number CAF/002958/2013 Amount Won: GBP3000.000.00 To file for your claim, kindly contact our paying agent (Payment Processing Center) for your claim with the below info to enable us process your Payment Contact Person: Mrs.Tina Harris Payment Processing Center Phone: +27-84-877-3573 E-mail: [email protected] Full Names: City: Country: Cell no: Age: Occupation: Email: Ref: Regards, CHAIRMAN AFRICA CUP OF NATIONS Organizing Committee Supported FIFA The milky bars are on me

Agreed. What's not to like about girls and cake?

Jeez,never mind the handles, that bum crack runs halfway up her back! She must run through a whole roll of arse paper every time she lays a stack.

Nice one . Do it , do it!

Fvck the folding chairs. Anyone got a bong ?

I know. You get a thick wad of dough.

Lamby, you could go the wank bank and become a sperm donor. Cash in hand.

Or perhaps he just likes some late night sausage.

The wife's got a pair of Union Jack knickers. I call them her Belfast pants as every time I take them down there's a ****ing protest.

Following on from the Tesco horse DNA scandal it is now being reported that Primark has found Cameltoe in a pair of leggings.

What is a former ex soldier? Is it someone who is no longer an ex soldier?

PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder It's still that even if you suffer it from experiences in service.

I see Rooney's hair transplant has been a success.

Go on, treat yourself. It's got a great backing track.

Never seen it myself Have had the misfortune to be shown Meatspin though.

Shrapnel, What hours do you work? I'm struggling to see how you can fit it in with your commitments to debate on this forum.

How is one cup large enough for the requirements of two girls? Surely they can afford a cup each now!

Fantabulous! Wilma and I were both off so we took the car out for a spin in the country and shared a delightful finger buffet.