SecretPro

Beggars belief. WTAF is going on? A Goalkeeper? Sure the club are deliberately just on a wind-up now.

We spunked £15m on a defender we didn't need...and that's our transfer business concluded. Great window.

If Ricardo somehow doesn't start then I'm going to be full rage mode.

Oh christ, ladies and gentlemen, we've got ourselves a 'yes man'.

Lol seriously, have you seen the majority of our fanbase? They clapped us to relegation.

Lol. It's going to be such a fun season.

Christ. What an absolute cretin.

0-10 - Spurs break our 0-9 record in the 97th minutes. Cooper breaks down and cries while Rudkin and Top laugh, joke and hug on the pitch at full time. Brendan Rodgers flies in on a giant Chapstick and joins in the celebrations with Top and Rudkin.

Like him or not, Cooper must be pulling his hair out at this point.

You gave up and said you couldn't be arsed (and posted much less) last season when we had Enzo and were winning. You must be suicidal at this point - we've got Cooper, a worse style of football and a worse squad

One for the 'Birds you fancy off of the telly" thread...

That squad looks so grim written down

He was shit the first time around. No ta.

Have developed what appears to be Patellar Tendinitis in my left knee. Can walk and do everything fine apart from Run, when it ****ing kills. Was hoping to do the Leicester 10k in October... Any tips for easing it, repairing it etc without having months lay-off.

He wouldn't even be any good in the Championship

That's what Vards, Coady, Vesty, Ward, Ndidi, Ricardo, and nearly everyone else are for.

I genuinely feel sick. This club. Christ.

What with his 20'odd goals in 10 seasons? Deadly.

Oh **** off. Ayew is ****ing abysmal.

7pm announcement?

I saw him in the Crystal Palace documentary series (about the Academies) and he seemed decent enough to me.

Only by that researcher from the BBC that played all the Ainsley Harriet material for Lenny Henry's 30th TV anniversary.

FFS, vardy is 37 and injured. If we are relying on him to be our best players this year then relegate us already. GOAT he is, but at 37, in the premier league and relying on him? Christ.