FoxFossil

Pre-season is all about conditioning. Conditioning us fans to get used to playing sh*t and losing every week. Derby record seriously in danger. What's the odds on Cooper 1st in PL to get chop?

I mean, it's not like he dealt drugs, and had to wear a electronic tag whilst playing when young, I mean that would be a complete no no.

Bench sounds hard with splinters, actually they sit all match in comfy arm chairs do nothing for their 50k. Bring back the bench!

Plan seems to be to get relegated to clear all the Funding crap/points deductions and then rebuild in Championship over next 5-10 years. Rudkin can then concentrate on the important horse side of the business.

I understand people giving Cooper the benefit of the doubt, but at this stage we shouldn't be 'trying all sorts'. Looks like he's never seen any of our games (especially Wards). Worried that he's playing Ward as Enzo is going to bid for Mads and like when Kasper went, Rudkin was clueless as to the consequences.

Foxestalk providing detailed, experienced insight into incoming disaster.

Really short actually. Already wondering what I'm going to do with all the spare time.

Cooper lost it for me, right there. Gone by Christmas.

Do I need to go to Specsavers or does he look to have lost some weight/ bit leaner? Don't know if this translates into faster.

Dead right. We crash landed a pizza box onto Mars. Eat that Elon.

Brilliant apart from the defence. Is Cooperball 'let's just outscore them'?

Ronny Edwards? Wasn't he the mastermind behind the Great Train robbery? Sounds like a mate of the Krays. Gerrimmin.

So Tony Currie must be his mum.

Vesty looking a bit slow. So no change there then.

Board weighing up if Rudkin can do managers job alongside horse duties.

Er Lineker? (WC Golden Boot, Barca etc)

Save pay off when we sack him at half time in the first game. Will probably take useless Board until Christmas to think about getting a new manager, by which time Enzo will be available again.

Nurse get SuxiFox her extra strong emergency meds.

Waitrose, I think. Also Russian Dacha store. I kid you not.

A Plan B emerges - lump it to Tammy. Keeps the older timers like me happy; but might regret getting rid of Kevin. Gerimin.

10 more years.

Sold to Stoke.

Whole team to do the Fatawu as our Haka so opposition are laughing so much we score straight from kick off.

Vardy always plays better when pissed. Proper old school. Brace incoming.

Two year extension and then sell him to the Saudis for £100m after a year. Sorts those pesky PL rules, saves the club, and pays Beccas legals all in one go. Bit left over for a statue taunting away fans for ever.