Daggers

Errm, I don’t know if this is the sweetest take or the most ignorant, but the expansion is about money first and there being no second. KPFC doesn’t give a toss about forming connections unless it’s to a bank account.

Why haven’t we cancelled Vestergaard’s contract and signed a defender who is at least Championship quality. Vesty won’t cut it at this level.

Digital executive - https://jobsinfootball.com/job/60236/digital-executive/

Salmongaaaaaaaate!

Ella Baron - political cartoon gallery in London

Something else for Matt fvcking Hancock to be in, I guess.

It’s only just come back - hold your horses, tiger, I’m sure they’ll get to it 😂

Second ep of Big Brother and I’m not remotely ashamed to say I’m here for it.

Still, you have to respect his left hand typing while distracted.

The whole CBT thing should be scrapped - kids think that they have skills when all it taught them was to go in a straight line and stop in a car park. And while it’s still going, they should be failed for rocking up in trainers and a jumper with an I’ll-fitting helmet.

Every driver should have to pass a motorbike test before being allowed anywhere near a car as it would make them appreciate the value of awareness and the danger they’re going to go on and pose.

Jon Sopel, ladies and gents. I heartily recommend The Newsagents podcast to all.

Fair cop. Some things just can’t be explained.

…sounds like an indie band my idiot son listens to.

Let me help you… @Raj This is funny because we know she’s talking about her child but the doctor switches it to talking about the cat. @Raj This is funny because it is changing the lyrics of a popular Queen song to be about curry and pretending Freddie Mercury is a curry chef. @Raj This is funny because we all think the goal scorer is a w@nker, much like yourself.

You don’t remember the episode of Blockbusters where Bob wore nothing but a glitter G-string and a hopeful smile? In related matters, The Reckoning is a pretty gruesome watch.

Hattrick guaranteed.

“Braeburns are sweet with a hint of tart” Figures.

Ludicrous. This is as bad as when someone proposed Nice biscuits in the Biscuit of the Year back in 2012.

Got BB on as I'm working - strong vibes of Nozin' Around going on by having two presenters constantly trying to talk over each other. But it still retains its camp glory and is clearly aimed at people like Manbag @Raj. Well done ITV, I say.