Duquesne Whistle

Give her my number. I'd rather listen to your Mum than watch another 45 like that.

Wondering if I'd settle for a 2-1 defeat myself. They've looked streets ahead.

Or Soumare. When you add the two ex Southampton lads, it really shouldn't be surprising we're struggling I suppose. Bit of a shit transfer window as things stand.

Absolute magicians making Southampton look this comfortable.

Rancid again. Really, really rancid. It'll need a very good 2nd half performance to make me forget this half. I'm not confident we can go 45 without conceding again though.

The Anfield groundsmen could surely have popped over and cleared at least half the pitch for them...

Newcastle aren't a guaranteed win against anyone. It's two of their best hopes for a home win, but they are a Wilson injury away from being a significantly worse team than the bag of shite they currently are. If I had to put money on it, I'd back Burnley rather than Newcastle, in that match. Norwich match next is surely their big chance. I wouldn't be surprised if they fluffed their lines though.

I've always been a Teddy P fan, both with Harold Melvin and solo. Interesting life story too, suggestions his car crash wasn't the accident it looked and that his car brake pipes had been tampered with by the Philly gangsters, and that it had happened on occasions before the crash that ultimately paralysed him. His worldwide success apparently pissed off the Isley Brothers too, according to legend. The music business can be murky at times.

It's more that they seem to keep rising to the challenge, whether they win this test or not. Really, India had the IPL at home, slipped over for the World cup, then returned to the comfort of home for this series. NZ had such a disappointing end to their World cup, but here they are, a couple of weeks later, giving India a run for their money in pretty alien conditions. I think India are probably favourites and NZ may run out of steam in the 4th innings, but their application just never ceases to amaze me tbh.

Can't help feeling Paine has been really set up in this one. Whatever else you think of him, he came in at a time when Australian cricket was in the gutter. He's had the odd problem himself as captain, but he's led a much more likeable Australian team and they've improved their on field reputation under his captaincy. I sense that isn't quite enough though, and many Australians will have seen his nice guy persona as the biggest exploitable weakness in the Aussie armoury. They will do everything they can to eradicate a weakness with the Ashes so close. Couple that with an underwhelming test record and he was always likely to go. Pretty ruthless by the Aussies, completely throwing Paine under the bus, but it's likely to make them a more aggressive team at home and harder to beat. If England can stand up to that aggression, they have a chance, but the Australians will be stronger for removing Paine. Gulp.

Don't know what they feed their youngsters in New Zealand, but it makes for solid sportsmen. I can't help but admire the black caps for again dealing with the huge disappointment of a World cup final defeat, packing up their kit bags and shipping off to India and putting up a real fight in the first test. It'll be tough batting last after losing the toss, but reducing the Indians to 103/6 gives them a shot. Great team across all formats.

I don't care about the actual argument going on in here, but good luck with that highlighted bit on FT, you'll need it

Being stackable only helps if you want to shove them all in one convenient box...

Play a striker, probably win the game, Pep. Surprised he didn't leave Jesus on the bench.

That first quote is just awful.

I agree with the sentiment of this, but I've done it myself. Sometimes, taking the piss relieves the stress after watching a few terrible performances. Doesn't make it right, but most of us have done it in one way or another.

We all know what ends up on your sole. Not quite as much as it did in the 70's, but it still happens. I jest, I'm sure you meant soul...

Barney Rubble?

In what way? That was as close a visual image of the posters attempt at spelling Popeye as there is out there. (Poppey...) Thought the fact that it was a Poppy Popeye image was far from niche myself.

I think it depends if he has his shoe lifts in or not.

Probably wouldn't get to the intended recipient. They'd miss them at the front post.

Is that modern vernacular for a Korean linesman?

Feeble, brittle, sliding.

We appear to be a soft touch now. Easy to beat, prone to crumbling, often as a result of doing the basics badly. That doesn't reflect well on the manager, regardless of injuries.