Arkie Bennett

All the exaggeration from the players has made it like watching the wrestling.

Thomas Frank always looks surprised.

Not a pen. We'd be furious if it was given against us.

Oxford desperately diving at every opportunity.

Thin hair?

Stunning goal!

He keeps calling it the "away end" when it's on the side.

Welcome to the future.

Yellow until the Oxford players surrounded the ref.

He knew exactly what he was doing. They always do.

Vesty so slow, you're not walking your pooch now.

Oh FFS!

Go on Abdul!

Saw the consultant yesterday. He confirmed that the cancer is in the rectum, and he was actually able to feel it with a finger up my bum. I'm going to have radiotherapy and chemotherapy, starting in October/November, to reduce the growth and increase the chance of successful surgery early in the new year. They are confident it can be removed completely. The radiotherapy will take 5 weeks with 5 visits to LRI each week. The chemo will be via tablets. I feel happier (as much as you can be, knowing you have cancer) that there is a plan and lots of positivity around it. He said I've probably had it for up to 2 years, which means my body has been fighting it unaided for quite a while, and may explain my low energy in the last year or so.

A bit like Broadmoor.

Piotr Szczerek, the millionaire CEO who snatched a hat meant for a child at the US Open. “Yes, I took it. Yes, I did it quickly. But as I’ve always said, life is first come, first served… If you were faster, you would have it… I remind you that insulting a public figure is subject to legal liability. All offensive comments, slander, and insinuations will be analyzed for the possibility of taking the matter to court.”

Tielemans needs to shave off that moustache, it's sapped all his quality.

At least it's kept Drury relatively quiet.

Perhaps fancies doing a Cambiasso.

Got the news today that the cancer hasn't spread. Next week I'll be told what the plan is to remove what is there. I'm still scared about what is going to be a tough and uncomfortable journey, but this could have been much worse and the nurse told me they will deal with it.

Caught a whopper? Tiddler more like it.

Spawny bastards, just like last season.

Most unlike United to benefit from a dodgy offside decision when there's no VAR.

Rat features coming on to save the day.

United need to go out and spend £200m on new players.