Facecloth

The Ulloa penalty v West Ham. Maybe because everything seemed against us that day, including a standard Jon Moss referring performance.

A rabbit hops into a pub and asks the bartender, "Could I get a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?" The bartender is taken aback but serves the rabbit his order. The rabbit enjoys his beer, devours the toastie, and then leaves. The next night, the rabbit returns and once again requests a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Word has spread, and the pub is buzzing with curious patrons. The bartender serves the rabbit, who eats and drinks before heading out. By the third night, the pub is packed to the brim. As the rabbit walks in and orders his usual, the crowd falls silent in anticipation. The bartender hands over the pint and toastie, and the room erupts in applause as the rabbit finishes his meal and exits. On the fourth night, there's standing room only. People have traveled from far and wide just to witness this unusual guest. The bartender is making more money in a week than he did all of last year. But when the rabbit walks in and asks for his usual, the bartender's face falls. "I'm sorry, my friend," he says, "but we're all out of Ham and Cheese Toasties." The rabbit looks shocked, and the pub goes so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The bartender nervously offers, "But we do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie. I promise you'll love it." The rabbit eyes him carefully. "Are you sure?" he asks. With a grin, the bartender replies, "I wouldn't steer you wrong. Trust me, you'll love it." "Alright," says the rabbit, "I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie." The pub bursts into cheers as the rabbit enjoys his meal, waves to the crowd, and leaves... never to return. A year later, the pub is in decline. The bartender, who has only served a handful of drinks that night—most of them to himself—calls last orders. As he's cleaning up, he notices a small white figure hovering above the bar. "Who are you?" he asks. "I'm the ghost of the rabbit who used to visit your pub," comes the reply. The bartender's eyes widen. "I remember you! You made this place famous. Every night, you'd come in for a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. People came from miles around just to see you." "Yes," the rabbit says. "But I also remember that last night when you ran out of Ham and Cheese Toasties. You gave me a Cheese and Onion Toastie instead." "That's right," the bartender recalls. "But then you never came back. What happened?" "I died," says the rabbit. The bartender gasps. "No! How?" The rabbit pauses before replying, "Mixin' me toasties."

Even more impressive that she ran a seasons best and didn't finish last!

I looked again and must have skipped over a season or something.

Well I counted back on transfermarket and got to Ahmed Musa.

Pedro Neto is apparently Chelsea's 35th permanent signing in just under 2 years of Todd Boehey. Anyone want to guess who we signed 35 permanent transfers ago?

I think out of those, only Soumare and Daka can put down as bad recruitment in the last 3 years. Danny Ward had been here 6 years. Nacho was signed 7 years ago as a 20 year old. Looked a good signing at the time and didn't utilise him well. Cannon and Kristensen haven't been here long or played enough to judge and they are young.

Talented guy

Maybe we should try signing a centre forward instead then. Don't see the point in signing an average winger to play him up front.

His goal return isn't fantastic either. Only has 2 season where's he's reached double figures I think. I think, as always there are a number of factors behind Palace improving, but the main part for me is the strikers are now scoring. Now the attacking players are working in tandem rather than one rogue, greedy element, their output has improved.

I'm not a fan of Zaha, I think his attitude is appalling and he flatters to deceive as a player. He's a very selfish player. I don't think it's a coincidence that Palace have improved since he left and their strikers have started scoring. Mateta hasn't just suddenly become a great striker. Benteke used to get lots of stick, but when your winger rarely puts a cross in or trys to play you in, for his type of striker it's hard to score. Heard him likened to Mahrez earlier in the thread. They are nothing alike. Mahrez would produce magic, as can Zaha, but mahrez did it a hell of a lot more regularly. Also mahrez knew when to pass. Zaha holds on to the ball far to long. I know stats can't be looked at purely as the number and other factors are involved, but Zaha has 29 PL assists in 305 games, which I think is a poor return for a winger, mahrez has over 60 in 20 less games. Harvey Barnes is on 28 after about half the number of games. Looking at a few other wingers for similar type teams, like Dwight McNeil, he has 27 assists in 205 games, Eze already on 15 in just 112 games so tracking to be well ahead of Zaha. Even Alex Iwobi has as many PL assists as Zaha. I could go on with wingers who have more assists in less games or are tracking to be well ahead of Zaha by the time they reach his amount of games, including Gordon, Pedro Neto, Cole Palmer, Grealish, Solly March, Mitoma, Hudson-Odoi, Engala, Marcus Tavernier, Mbuemo, Ryan Sessegnon. Even the much maligned Ayoze Perez's numbers are at least similar to Zaha if they are over the same number of games. He obviously better than the like of Almiron but I'm not sure he worth the hassle for that. He was Palaces main attacking outlet for nearly a decade and his numbers are poor. Add to that he's has a stinking attitude, I'd rather we steered clear. A few fancy stopovers don't make a great player, you have to have regular end product.

Cindy Sember running this morning

Ingebrigsten was a bit cocky there I think. Think he thought he could out run everyone from the off.

We're gonna need a lot of immigrants to come over to fill all these job vacancies.

Basically completed Tennis now. Only the second man to win a career super slam (the 4 Slams, Olympic gold and the tour finals), along with Andre Agassi. That achievement alongside 24 Slams imo cements him as the greatest tennis player in history.

He's ethnically Rwanda but his nationality is Welsh. My Brother-in-law was born in Edinburgh to English parents. He's got a broad Scottish accent he's white, and has a British sounding name. Nobody would question his Scottishness so I see no reason to question this guys Welshness seemimgly based on his strange sounding name and dark skin colour (not saying you are doing that).

That is the point. They sat watching England cheering on players who's names aren't traditionally English or British. Now when it's said this guy is Welsh they cry his name doesn't sound very Welsh. Names sound British when they suit and not when they don't. Mo Farrah isn't a British sounding name but I'm sure they celebrated his gold.

Same people saying his name doesn't sound British or Welsh were probably sat at home cheering on Marc Guehi, Kobbie Mainoo and Bakayo Saka during the Euros this summer. Until they missed a chance or something then they bombard them with racist Instagram messages.

Some good news regarding Southport, two of the children have been released from hospital. I know there is probably a long physical and mental recovery to come but at least we know they have survived the attack.

Yeah it's crazy. As funny as it looks it's impressive. The discipline to not break into a run in amazing too. Don't they have to have one foot on the floor at all times?

Put the 20km walking on this morning. This is still slower and shorter than the walk to the average Wetherspoons toilet.