mick47 Posted 29 May 2017 Posted 29 May 2017 An Leicester fan, a Spurs fan and a Man u fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The ManU fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The ManU fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The Spurs fan was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my shirt" But even two pillows & 1 shirt could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again. The Leicester was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "Because you are last you may have two wishes!" "Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The blue replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks. "Please tie the Spurs fan to my back."
Parafox Posted 30 May 2017 Posted 30 May 2017 I'd say it should be in the Joke thread but it's not worthy of that.
StanSP Posted 30 May 2017 Posted 30 May 2017 13 hours ago, Steve_Walsh5 said: Did that really happen? yep. was on the news the other day actually.
Soar Fox Posted 30 May 2017 Posted 30 May 2017 56 minutes ago, StanSP said: yep. was on the news the other day actually. Thanks for that.
Benguin Posted 30 May 2017 Posted 30 May 2017 They're in Sahawdee, the wife wouldn't have been permitted to speak.
mick47 Posted 2 June 2017 Author Posted 2 June 2017 Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho, flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football, he is so impressed he arranges for him to come over to Manchester. Two weeks later Man U are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20 minutes left to play. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for United . The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the lad gets off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day at Man U. 'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, and we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me mum, they all love me.' 'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street; your sister and I were ambushed, robbed, gangbanged and then beaten oh, and your brother has joined a gang of looters. This was happening while you were having such a great time playing football.' The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, I'm so sorry.' 'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' shrieks his mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved to Manchester in the first place'.
Webbo Posted 2 June 2017 Posted 2 June 2017 We already have a joke thread https://www.foxestalk.co.uk/topic/25265-the-joke-thread/?page=280#comment-4324441
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