Bizarre things your neighbors are up to

[Costock_Fox]

4 minutes ago, Stadt said:

Jetwash man

ShirleyBob

Gordon Wanks 

How did that one come about?

[Tuna]

1 hour ago, cambridgefox said:

Brilliant 

 

Colin the perv

Old Man  Withers( Scooby doo)

Car Wash Gary

God Botherer's

Leo Sayer( curly hair)

 

my favourite 

Scotch Bonnet ( He was Scottish and was always tinkering with his car)

Scotch Bonnet love it 

[Stadt]

11 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

How did that one come about?

Taken a bit of artistic license with that one as that's definitely what his nickname would have been if I was old enough to swear without getting a pasting. There was a bloke in his 60s that was a bit weird (Gordon, obviously) but seemingly nice enough. Turns out he posted about 2 or 3 love letters a week to our happily married thirty-something neighbour and was a bit of a creep all around.

[Rain King]

Came home from holiday a few years ago to find our neighbour mowing the front lawn. It wasn't even very long. He saw us and quickly retreated inside his house looking embarrassed. 

He moved out a couple of years ago which is a shame really as it is now quite long and I can't be arsed. 

 

He used to wake us up at about 3am every few nights with his vacuuming. 

[Stadt]

At halls during first year, the flat above played these on repeat, more paedophiles than Russophiles imo

 

 

[Rob1742]

My mate had a lodger who used to leave the bog in a right state. When we were out in the pub he would be constantly complaining about him and saying action needed to be taken.

 

So his plan was to inform the guy that in the mornings, he could only use the bathroom after him. So my mate went in at 7.00am, the lodger would follow at 7.30am. This way if he left a mess, he could get the lodger to clean it up in the evening.

 

Then one Thursday night we were out and had a few too many. He woke in the morning and was struggling to get up so thought it best having an extra half hour kip and letting the lodger use the bathroom first.

 

When he finally got up, he was obviously getting late for work, rushed in the bathroom and this log was protruding about a foot out of the bog. He flushed and flushed and the lodgers log wouldn’t budge.

 

In the end he had to wrap his hands in bog roll, lift it out, snap it in half and put half down the bog, whilst still holding the other half. Once the first half had gone through the system, he was able to release the second half.

 

He was fuming when he told me the story the following night, you could feel me anger and frustration in him. Me on the other hand was bent double laughing my bollocks off. 

[cambridgefox]

11 hours ago, Tuna said:

Scotch Bonnet love it 

Lad at work calls his neighbour

Steve Wright 1979

 

because,and wait for it.He looks like Steve Wright in 1979 😂

[Guest Fktf]

Great thread - enjoyed reading all of these.

 

I'll need to give a bit of backstory for my anecdote. Back at Uni, our landlord owned a big Victorian terrace house, that had a huge extension in the back garden. Her plan was to make self-contained bedsits throughout the whole property, but at the time me and 4 mates saw the place, she'd made 4 bedsits in the extension, and was offering the house as a 4 bed rental. Renting a bedsit and the 4 bed house was going to work £20 quid a week cheaper than any 5 bed house we could find - huge money for students - so we went with it. No one really wanted the bedsit, so we drew lots and lucky me got the short straw. So I basically lived/socialised in the house, and then had to walk across a courtyard outside a back door on the house to get to my bedsit at night.

 

One winter's morning, after a heavy night out, I come into the back door of the house. It lead into a carpeted hallway, that was squelching underfoot. As I carry on walking up the hall past a bedroom, the water in the carpet starts to splash every step I take. As I mentioned before, we were all tight on money, so the rule in the house was the heating only went on if you could see your breath. It's starting to dawn on me - we've let the house get so cold overnight a water pipe has burst, and we're going to liable for all the repair work. I can hear water running behind a bedroom door, so bang on it a few times. No answer from my mate, so I enter. At this point there's a layer of water on the carpet - and it is starting to creep up the sides of the laptop he'd left on the floor. Having chucked that on the bed to try and save it, I make may to his ensuite. The sound of running water is definitely coming from in there, and being as my mate didn't answer any knocks on the bedroom door, I assumed he'd pulled and spent the night elsewhere. Wrong. I open the ensuite door without knocking, and I'm greeted by the sight of my stark naked mate, asleep in the shower tray in the fetal position, with an arse cheek covering the plug hole. Apparently the house was so cold when he got back at 3am, he decided to take a shower to warm up, but was too drunk the stand up. He must have been in there 8 hours before I found him - which turns out to be more than enough time for an over-flowing shower to wet every room on the ground floor.  

 

[MPH]

my neighbors came home a few days back and we’re chasing each other round and round the car and then all round the outside of their house and garden. not sure if it was in jest, anger or passion but it was very amusing. went on for about an hr.  she’s a long legged gal and he is a bit shorter than her and short legs. could never catch her no matter how hard  he tried

Edited 8 October 2019 by MPH

[Manini]

18 hours ago, Stadt said:

At halls during first year, the flat above played these on repeat, more paedophiles than Russophiles imo

 

 

Sorry about that 

[Manini]

Our lass’ parents next door neighbour has weird parcels dropped off in the middle of the night. I waited up one night to watch because I thought 1. The mother in law is just making something out of nothing and I wanted to call bullshit on her 2. I’m a nosey bastard. 
 

Anyway, 2am (it’s sometimes closer to midnight I’m told), up pulls a Citroen people carrier, somebody gets out of the driver side, walks over to the passenger side, pulls a brown parcel and a high vis jacket out of the passenger side. Puts on the high vis, delivers the parcel to next door, returns to the car, drives off.

 

Immediate thought was drug deal, but, every night? And also you wouldn’t put a high vis on to deliver some gear, you’d want as little attention drawn to you as possible surely? I’ve thought maybe it was some type of medical delivery, maybe somebody who lives there has to do at home blood transfusions or something? (I don’t know if they exist, I’m guessing)

 

Anyway, speaking to the MIL again about it recently, turns out it’s still going on, has been for about 4 months now every single night, and new stuff just starts appearing. They’ve got a brand new motor, a new sit on lawnmower, they’ve had their bathroom and their kitchen done all in the space of those 4 months. Very odd. 

[SystonFox]

10 hours ago, Rob1742 said:

My mate had a lodger who used to leave the bog in a right state. When we were out in the pub he would be constantly complaining about him and saying action needed to be taken.

 

So his plan was to inform the guy that in the mornings, he could only use the bathroom after him. So my mate went in at 7.00am, the lodger would follow at 7.30am. This way if he left a mess, he could get the lodger to clean it up in the evening.

 

Then one Thursday night we were out and had a few too many. He woke in the morning and was struggling to get up so thought it best having an extra half hour kip and letting the lodger use the bathroom first.

 

When he finally got up, he was obviously getting late for work, rushed in the bathroom and this log was protruding about a foot out of the bog. He flushed and flushed and the lodgers log wouldn’t budge.

 

In the end he had to wrap his hands in bog roll, lift it out, snap it in half and put half down the bog, whilst still holding the other half. Once the first half had gone through the system, he was able to release the second half.

 

He was fuming when he told me the story the following night, you could feel me anger and frustration in him. Me on the other hand was bent double laughing my bollocks off. 

@DHOTYA