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If football teams were women...

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Posted

Found this on a site just now, pretty true in most cases :|

Birmingham - Pamela Anderson:

Used to look good in the cups but now a declining force. Plus millions

of people watched them get a good seeing to.

Wigan - Davina McCall:

Poor attendances confirm they've been promoted above their ability.

Portsmouth - Girls Aloud:

Only one real class act among the hastily assembled line-up. You

shouldn't like them but admit it, you've sneaked the occasional admiring glance.

Sunderland - Kerry Katona:

Once the people's favourite but now an embarrassment. Fun while it

lasted - now disappear from where you came, please.

Spurs - Keira Knightley:

Undeniably easy on the eye with an attractive English spine. And proof

that two little ones up front needn't be an drawback.

Everton - Dannii Minogue:

The poor relation to the more glamorous sibling. Can anyone remember

when it was they were supposed to be any good?

Fulham - Charlotte Church:

Proof that money can't buy you class. But could look more attractive if

the Welsh bloke was given the elbow.

Arsenal - Jordan:

Were more likeable when they weren't packed out with expensive foreign

implants.

Newcastle - Jodie Marsh:

Impressive front two but embarrassing at the back. Had surgery but need

a lot more work to compete at a higher level.

Aston Villa - Dido:

Bland, boring and still trading off the one big hit they had years ago.

Liverpool - Sophie Ellis-Bextor:

Individually all the components look great but stick them together and

it just doesn't work.

Chelsea - Rachel Stevens:

You'd rather just watch them than listen to all that painful whining.

Bolton - Clare Balding:

You wouldn't. Not even if they were the last team on earth

Manchester United - Catherine Zeta Jones

Used to look great until they were shafted by an old fat American with

too much money

Posted

ok lets add some.

tottenham - tara para tomkinsonsonson

in the limelight ocassionally, but no one gives a fcuk

coventry - michael jackson

promise u the world then prevent u from sleeping at night.

Posted

lol

Seen that before on an email. It comes in a nice PowerPoint Presentaion!

And that forrest one is good!

Posted
Bolton - Clare Balding:

You wouldn't. Not even if they were the last team on earth

Who the spam.gif is Clare Balding???

I looked her up on Google images and I still have no idea who she is???

clare_balding.jpg

Posted

Who the spam.gif is Clare Balding???

I looked her up on Google images and I still have no idea who she is???

clare_balding.jpg

Presents horse racing and bowls and shit on grandstand. Posh twat.

Posted

Who the spam.gif is Clare Balding???

I looked her up on Google images and I still have no idea who she is???

clare_balding.jpg

She presents sport programs for the BBC, mostly horse racing.

Posted

The Spurs one is the best.

Heres one for Forest:

female_pubic_stage_5.gif

:ph34r: Please remove if too dutty.

I think it should be removed for use of that word :thumbup:

Posted

Nottingham Forest.

Graham Norton; experiences lots of ups and downs and is more than willing to use the back entrance to be with the big boys. :D

Posted

Nottingham Forest.

Graham Norton; experiences lots of ups and downs and is more than willing to use the back entrance to be with the big boys. :D

lol quality mate

Posted

Well I've seen this on our forum,don't be so mean about us you lot!We are Abba,successful in the 70's but doing nothing of note in the last 25 years :( ,I don't know who should represent you lot!

Posted

Well I've seen this on our forum,don't be so mean about us you lot!We are Abba,successful in the 70's but doing nothing of note in the last 25 years :( ,I don't know who should represent you lot!

You are on an LCFC forum, what exactly did you expect? :D

Posted

You are on an LCFC forum, what exactly did you expect? :D

Well I would expect it on a sheep forum,if they actually had a proper forum for themselves though lol ,as for the sheep as women,it would be someone who shags everything and anything!Jon_lcfc,I don't live in Manchester,and if your implying that Nottingham is gun land,you could'nt be any more wrong,Nottingham is one of the nicest places in the country!

Posted

Well I would expect it on a sheep forum,if they actually had a proper forum for themselves though lol ,as for the sheep as women,it would be someone who shags everything and anything!Jon_lcfc,I don't live in Manchester,and if your implying that Nottingham is gun land,you could'nt be any more wrong,Nottingham is one of the nicest places in the country!

lol But do they use spaces after commas in Nottingham? :unsure:

Posted

lol But do they use spaces after commas in Nottingham? :unsure:

I do , obviously that 'tard dont ;):unsure:

Posted

There alright but These were done awhile ago on Laugh FC and are better IMO.

Arsenal - Angelina Jolie

Looks good, a bit maverick at times and you know they have the

potential to really screw you over

Aston Villa - Dido

One big hit. Fairly inoffensive really

Birmingham City - Mariah Carey

Occasionally interesting, frequently annoying. Supporters are thick

Blackburn Rovers - Melanie Sykes

Common as muck Lancy, constantly worrying.

Bolton Wanderers - Natalie Imbruglia

Always looks like she might go down but never does

Charlton Athletic - Martine McCutcheon

Chirpy Cockney with the ability to spring a few surprises

Chelsea - Rachel Stevens

Every bit looks good from all angles. But what is she doing with that ****

Everton - Barbara Windsor

Been laughing at those t*ts so long we forget that once upon a time they actually looked quite good

Fulham - Andrea Corr

Not bad to look at but not much of her. Seems a bit awestruck with fame

Leicester City - Patsy Palmer

Generally a bit crap and second rate really, but some people like her

Leeds United - Lisa Scott Lee

Dirty Lee

Liverpool - Sophie Ellis Bextor

Individually all the components look fantastic - just doesn't work

when put together.

Man City - Madonna

Have been big at times - now lost the plot a bit - ageing stars.

Nice new home though

Man United - Jordan

Dominated by t*ts. Screwed by Dwight Yorke. Quite repulsive

really

Middlesborough - Tara Palmer Tompkinson

Can look quite good at the back - but nothing at all up front to

speak of.

Newcastle United - Christina Aguillera

Can look good. Various unsavoury elements though.

Portsmouth - Chrissie Hynde

On the face of it a has-been but you're quite interested in what she's

going to do next

Southampton - Kylie Minogue

Sometimes you feel sorry for them, they’re not huge and you've got a

bit of a soft spot.

Tottenham - Joan Collins

Used to look good, but living on past glories.

Additional one more...

West Ham - Britney Spears

Been threatening to go down for the last few years, but finally did

it this year.

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