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The People's Hero

Who wants to be my wench?

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Posted

Come on then, wenches.

Orderly queue please.

You will be marked on the following criteria

* Laughing at my jokes

* Not laughing at my penis

* Not laughing at other people's jokes

* Encouraging and not discouraging me to drink

* Pirate baiting

* Deck scrubbing

* Blowjobbery

Posted

Don't wanna be your monkey wench... :whistle:

That reminds me - if any monkeys fancy applying, as long as you apply enough make up and keep the banana eating to a minimum. You'll be okay.

Faeces throwing won't do you any favours, but you won't be marked down on it either.

Posted

Come on then, wenches.

Orderly queue please.

You will be marked on the following criteria

* Laughing at my jokes

* Not laughing at my penis

* Not laughing at other people's jokes

* Encouraging and not discouraging me to drink

* Pirate baiting

* Deck scrubbing

* Blowjobbery

Is it in that order????

Posted

It appears there is a spelling mistake in this thread - there is an 'i' where a ' should be.

The thread should read: laughing at my pen's

Yeah...

Don't laugh at my pen's ill-fitting lid. That pen has been a good servant. Ok so the lid doesn't match. So what?

Posted

Yeah...

Don't laugh at my pen's ill-fitting lid. That pen has been a good servant. Ok so the lid doesn't match. So what?

You can see a doctor, jews have their pen lids removed when they're young. I had mine taken away when I was 16.

Posted

Yeah...

Don't laugh at my pen's ill-fitting lid. That pen has been a good servant. Ok so the lid doesn't match. So what?

As long as you always ensure there is a lid on it you wont suffer from any long lasting consequences. Protection is vital for all pen's

Posted

Yeah...

Don't laugh at my pen's ill-fitting lid. That pen has been a good servant. Ok so the lid doesn't match. So what?

You've still got your lid then?

I nearly lost my lid in a bit of sexual overplay once... anyway, I like the cut of yer gib...oh sorry forgot, you've still got your lid!! :whistle:

Posted

Don't they have holes in pen's lids nowadays, to stop you from choking if you get one stuck in your throat??

I thought the holes in pen lids were designed so that people could whistle through them?

Posted

Imagine ripping all THOSE clothes off.

Imagine even wanting to.

Actually, don't.

Alright - I'll cast my net a little wider.

Wench wanted.

Harlots, floosies and common whores considered.

Posted

The position still has not been filled.

Are no women interested? :o

Oh how the times have changed!

I remember your Mr Leicester days, when the wench's were flocking.

Posted

Oh how the times have changed!

I remember your Mr Leicester days, when the wench's were flocking.

I was awash with the unwashed.

See what I've done there?

So Kerry, cut to the chase, do you want some? Or can't you handle it?

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