New Inventions

[James.]

Some people say there's nothing left to be invented. I say b*****ks.

Here's my two earth shatteringly good ideas:

1. The Wearable All-In-One Duvet (with optional hood)

Sleep has never been easier than with the all-in-one duvet outfit. With a zip up the back, feet and hand covers and an optional hood you can be comfortable wherever you are. You can also buy covers for the duvet meaning you can have your own wearable LCFC duvet. Amazing.

2. The Triple A Delivery Serivce (Anything, Anytime, Anywhere)

It's 4am and you've just ran out of rizla. It's a rainy day and you suddenly have the urge to buy a new fridge. It's Mother's Day and you forgot you tit. Not a problem for the AAA delivery service. For a small commission they will deliver anything whenever and wherever you need it.

Any Takers?

[The People's Hero]

I spent about half hour in the pub the other day trying to convince my mate to come in with me and set up banking services for lazy retailites who can't be arsed to do their daily banking or whatever. We go up and down the high street, get the stuff, do the banking, job done. No hassle, complete security etc.

Then he pointed out that securicor do this already.

[Guest]

I would like someone to invent something that prevents ignorant tw@s from walking into me, or worse, just stopping in front of me as I try to do my Crimble shopping at a reasonable speed.

Failing that, I want town to be opened just for me, with an exclusion zone in force for anyone who doesn't meet my stringent criteria.

[James.]

ok, here's another (devised while at uni so credit to be shared amongst some of my mates)

repent.com

Online sin repenting with a priest or other clergy online 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

You wake up not entirely sure what you have done but pretty confident God wouldn't be too impressed.

Don't throw that ticket to Heaven away just yet just go online to repent.com and for a small fee have your sin waiered by an online servant of god. Saves all the hassle of going to the Church, you can repent all day from the comfort of your own house.

Better?

[davieG]

Some people say there's nothing left to be invented. I say b*****ks.

Here's my two earth shatteringly good ideas:

1. The Wearable All-In-One Duvet (with optional hood)

Sleep has never been easier than with the all-in-one duvet outfit. With a zip up the back, feet and hand covers and an optional hood you can be comfortable wherever you are. You can also buy covers for the duvet meaning you can have your own wearable LCFC duvet. Amazing.

2. The Triple A Delivery Serivce (Anything, Anytime, Anywhere)

It's 4am and you've just ran out of rizla. It's a rainy day and you suddenly have the urge to buy a new fridge. It's Mother's Day and you forgot you tit. Not a problem for the AAA delivery service. For a small commission they will deliver anything whenever and wherever you need it.

Any Takers?

Well the first idea sounds just like the sleeping bag I've got and the second isn't an invention, it's just a better quality, high intensity delivery service, I think that was around in the Flintstones.

Must Try Harder.

[davieG]

ok, here's another (devised while at uni so credit to be shared amongst some of my mates)

repent.com

Online sin repenting with a priest or other clergy online 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

You wake up not entirely sure what you have done but pretty confident God wouldn't be too impressed.

Don't throw that ticket to Heaven away just yet just go online to repent.com and for a small fee have your sin waiered by an online servant of god. Saves all the hassle of going to the Church, you can repent all day from the comfort of your own house.

Better?

Again, not exactly new Confess here

[Dr The Singh]

What about rent a party???

A service where if anyone is having a party or gathering and is unsure that anyone or a few will turn up, they could hire from the agency a group of people as party guests!!! It's cheaper then conventional escort agencies and it's all clean!!

Side lines, include rent a mate(s)\friend(s) for occassions where you ahev to prove you have some mates even though you many not have any!!!

[Dr The Singh]

Again, not exactly new Confess here

Are there any for Sikhs?????

[The People's Hero]

Rent a player. You set up a 'football club' which is just really a business. You get in 2 or 3 star players and immediately let it be known they are for rent on a game by game basis. Have a hard game coming up? Have Rooney for a game. Relegation looming, borrow Gerrard for a bit.

Do you see?

[James.]

Again, not exactly new Confess here

i can't believe they copied my idea

bit of an obscure website. i'd bring it to the mainstream. all religions covered. even atheists can apologise and feel better for it.

an all encompassing service of forgiveness

or something.

[Thracian]

Again, not exactly new Confess here

Paradise for verbal voyeurs!

[davieG]

i can't believe they copied my idea

bit of an obscure website. i'd bring it to the mainstream. all religions covered. even atheists can apologise and feel better for it.

an all encompassing service of forgiveness

or something.

Try googling there are plenty more

[The People's Hero]

Beer.

But cheaper.

And nicer tasting.

[James.]

Try googling there are plenty more

ok ok, why don't we just change the name of the thread to 'crap inventions that already exist'?

[stez]

i've often thought that making electric cars run further would would be fairly simple if you put an alternater on each prop shaft, the motion of the wheels turning the alternaters, which then charge the batteries. ©

[The People's Hero]

Shoes which make you run faster and also be able to walk up walls.

[davieG]

ok ok, why don't we just change the name of the thread to 'crap inventions that already exist'?

Don't mind me - You give up far too easily

[mr_jex]

2. The Triple A Delivery Serivce (Anything, Anytime, Anywhere)

It's 4am and you've just ran out of rizla. It's a rainy day and you suddenly have the urge to buy a new fridge. It's Mother's Day and you forgot you tit. Not a problem for the AAA delivery service. For a small commission they will deliver anything whenever and wherever you need it.

Any Takers?

Yes. I would like a beer delivered to me at work cos its friday and i want to go home and play pro evo. A beer would ease my afternoon woe. Lager beer please. And cold.

[The People's Hero]

Yes. I would like a beer delivered to me at work cos its friday and i want to go home and play pro evo. A beer would ease my afternoon woe. Lager beer please. And cold.

There you go... your first customer.

[James.]

Don't mind me - You give up far too easily

you're right. ok so here we go again...

zero gravity pool

two of you play pool in a big 10ft x 10ft cube with pockets in each corner. the physics are worked so you float but the balls retain their normal earth gravity motion. all other pool rules apply.

[James.]

There you go... your first customer.

on its way. and it's stella.

[davieG]

you're right. ok so here we go again...

zero gravity pool

two of you play pool in a big 10ft x 10ft cube with pockets in each corner. the physics are worked so you float but the balls retain their normal earth gravity motion. all other pool rules apply.

You could turn that into a sex game for those men who have tired of blow up dolls

[Daggers]

rent a mate(s)\friend(s) for occassions where you ahev to prove you have some mates even though you many not have any!!!

Can you give me a PM when you've set this up Singh? I, err, have a friend that, err, has..no, errr, friends.

[Fez of Mahrez]

I've added a new one to my previous efforts;

The Washing Line Umbrella

The All You Can Eat Takeaway

ALL NEW THE ONLINE SHOPPING CENTRE

A website that contains links to all the top retail outlets, set out in a snazzy fashion. They buy shop window space, customers buy stuff. Market it on a big scale and it would make (and be used by) millions...

DISCLAIMER: I partly wanted to see if such a thing already exists (not Google) so waiting for some smartarse to post a link.

[davieG]

I've added a new one to my previous efforts;

The Washing Line Umbrella

The All You Can Eat Takeaway

ALL NEW THE ONLINE SHOPPING CENTRE

A website that contains links to all the top retail outlets, set out in a snazzy fashion. They buy shop window space, customers buy stuff. Market it on a big scale and it would make (and be used by) millions...

DISCLAIMER: I partly wanted to see if such a thing already exists (not Google) so waiting for some smartarse to post a link.

Do I detect a dig at me Mr Fez of the Muzz